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Other half helpful?

(2 Posts)
KO80 Tue 14-Nov-17 21:24:26

I have 10 week old twins and a 17 month old son, I'm a full time stay at home mum and wondered how much help people's other halfs were/are especially at night?

Currently our arrangement is my husband dose one night a week, normally a Friday night, we have a bed in the twins room (it was our guest room so kept the bed in we had a night nurse). When he gets home from work, he works locally and works 8am to 4pm, he will feed a twin or will help bath our son, he goes to bed at 6pm. Usually the twins last feed is 9 or 10pm which we both do, then go to bed, I get up in the night, normally once and then an early morning feed. My son wakes up at 6am but will play in his cot for an hour. I also get up to our son if he wakes up. The most my husband will do in the morning is get our son up and change his nappy before going to work.

Tonight for example, he was tired as he'd gone out with a friend for dinner last night and came home late about 11pm, so he was tired and suggested we go to bed early after the 7pm feed. We went to bed at 8pm I'm in the room with the twins and he is next door watching his iPad. Which was really annoyed me as it seems like an excuse to get out of helping with twins.

My family and friends think he should do more, I don't expect him to get up in the middle of the night but when I suggested he did the last feed and it was at 10pm he got humpy.

Sorry it was a bit of a rant, but I am curious as to what other men do to help??

GandTforme Wed 15-Nov-17 16:52:05

My DH was fab when our twins were small. He went back to work full time when they were 4 weeks, but we shared night feeds (one twin each in very early days, then we both had nights off when they were a bit older and could be fed simultaneously in bouncers). Once they no longer needed feeding at night (5/6 months I think) we did alternate nights while they were waking up all the time. Now they are toddlers and rarely wake up I do almost all night wakings - that's only because I'm better at it grin

I think your husband needs to step up to be honest, especially since you have a toddler too!

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