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3 under 2 - handhold needed

(11 Posts)
willisurvive2under2 Wed 18-Oct-17 14:19:29

I have a 14 month old and I’ve just found out I’m expecting twins. DS will be 20 months when they’re born.

I haven’t stopped crying since finding out. How will I cope? I had a lovely low risk pregnancy and birth last time, I’m terrified of having a C section.

Any words of wisdom? Will we be ok? I feel so bad about DS, he’s so little. Anyone grow up with or has with a similar set up and can offer any advice? Thank you.

willisurvive2under2 Wed 18-Oct-17 18:59:19

Hopeful bump! Anyone?

Phillipa12 Wed 18-Oct-17 19:07:11

My sister had twins when her ds was 13 months old, i wont lie it was hard work but getting them all into a routine worked so well for her, they are now 4 and 3 and an absolute breeze! She did invest in a decent sling, a connecta, which i have used and loved and if someone offered help in the early days she took it, dont be a martyr if you dont have too. Oh and google your local mini multiples group, my god they are good, she started going when she was pregnant and the advice from other multiple mums was invaluable.

Surf25 Wed 18-Oct-17 23:33:21

Hello! Congratulations and it will be ok! Yes it is hard work but it is very rewarding as well, especially when they start interacting and playing together and making each other giggle! My son was 21 months when our twin boys arrived and we had a 5 and 6 year old as well. It is hard to predict how the toddler will react but we have not had any issues. Sure he watched a fair bit more tv but that doesnt seem to have done him any harm and it was only for a short time! Find your local twins group, look and consider joining TAMBA - both will be great sources of support and advice. Your ds will be fine. Honestly the bond between our boys is lovely and he is so proud of his twins (goes around saying 'my twins' etc to anyone who will listen!!)

Oh and I had a section due to slowed growth and reduced fetal movements in one twin, at 34 weeks. I also had three low risk, easy pregnancies before the twins and uncomplicated normal deliveries without any issues and so was a little apprehensive about my section as had also been planning normal delivery for the twins. But when we learned about the growth etc I was happy to take the advice from the consultant and I have to say the actual experience of the section was completely calm and relaxed and my recovery was very straightforward. Trying to think if there ia antthing else. A good double buggy and a sling and/or a buggy board makes it eaaier to get out!!

DancingLedge Wed 18-Oct-17 23:40:09

Yes you will cope. Promise.
Ask HV for referral to Homestart. If they are able to help, you'll get a trained volunteer, only once a week, but grab every bit of help you can.

katiekatharine Thu 19-Oct-17 00:06:25

My daughter was 21 months our twins arrived. She was too young to be jealous, she thought it was normal! I've got lots of tips for you but am falling asleep now. We bought the T3 jogger pram which was a life saver for me. Keep in touch, you are very lucky. Xx

Beyondtheshore Thu 19-Oct-17 18:04:11

My daughter was 20 months when our twins were born. I had a c section too with complications and a tricky recovery too (not to scare you, just to say it is manageable!) The early weeks when I was still physically in quite bad shape were definitely the hardest, and I would say rope in all the help you can get for that stage - I was surprised (in a lovely way) by just how willing friends and family were to help out. Can you afford any nursery hours for your toddler? Mine was in two mornings a week and that really helped too.

With regards to the age difference, I love how close they all are in age. As PP said, the toddler was so young she didn’t know to really question any of it, and was never jealous at all. They’re 3 and 20 months now, and for the most part play together really well. And I’m very glad that I’ve got all the baby stuff out of the way in a relatively short time period - I don’t think I could deal with just getting my oldest into school and then having to go back to square one with all the sleepless nights!

I’m not going to lie, there were (and are) days that are a challenge; the first 10 months before the twins started sleeping through and napping in a regular pattern were TOUGH, and some days there is nothing for it to plonk them all in front of CBeebies in despair. But it is totally manageable, and it really is lots of fun, too!

willisurvive2under2 Sat 21-Oct-17 19:30:52

Thank you so much for all the positive stories.

@katiekatharine Thank you, would love to hear more if you ever fancy PMing me x

thetaleofthetriplet Tue 24-Oct-17 23:32:48

My son was 18 months when my twins were born. I remember feeling the exact same you are now when I found out at my 12 week scan! I gave birth to boy/girl twins naturally with no epidural...it’s not always the horror story you read!! Both healthy weights of 6.65 & 6.25, I gave birth at 5:27pm and was home by 2am with two healthy babies! I’ve reventlu started a Blog on Facebook, feel free to follow! Good luck x

m.facebook.com/taleofthetripleT/

Dustycorners Tue 31-Oct-17 19:55:20

My DS was 21 months when my b/g twins arrived. They are now coming up to 9 months and he is 2.5. The babies are not sleeping through yet, so I’m still in a bit of a haze, but I can assure you, you will survive!

I had a (complicated) vaginal delivery for my eldest and a planned c-section for the twins at 36 weeks (one baby had reduced growth). The babies had 4 days in neonatal care and then we were all home.

My biggest worry beforehand was what the impact of it all would be on my toddler, who was (and is) very close to me. Honestly, he has been absolutely fine.

You’re welcome to PM me if you want to chat about it all or ask about specific things. I can’t type much more now as I have two sleeping babies perched on the feeding pillow grin

thewalrus Wed 08-Nov-17 22:31:43

19 month gap here. My kids are 10 and 9 now, so here to give you the long(ish) view.

I'm struggling to find a positive way of saying that the first year or so was very, very hard work. It was. But we did it and as they've got older having three kids so close in age is mostly brilliant. And my DD1 never showed any signs of jealousy etc, I think she was too young to remember anything else. She is a very bright, sociable and confident child.

Sorry, I'm really tired (spot a pattern in the responses?!) and not putting this very well. I just want to say that, yes, it's hard, and like any family situation there are pros and cons, but overall so far it has been brilliant and I think my. Kids are lucky to have each other.

Congratulations, I hope you're beginning to get used to the idea. I will try to think of some useful tips when I'm not falling asleep!!

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