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To dress the same or to not dress the same?

(27 Posts)
Sunnydays8912 Wed 04-Jan-17 20:45:34

Following in from a chat I received on a mumsbet daily email I was surprised to see so many parents slating dressing children the same and how they think it's 'cringeworthy' and 'destroying their individuality' amongst other descriptions. I have twins and an older one, the twins are ALWAYS dressed the same right down to their socks and often hairstyle, mostly the older one is too... so that's all 3 identically dressed. This is how I want it to be, they are individual children with their own personalities regardless of the matching outfits. I love the novelty of twins and that other people can't tell them apart, they're part of such a unique club I am fully up for rolling with 'all things twin'. Plus I know this won't last forever so am relishing it whilst I can. They older one also loves to look like her sisters. It's fun.

So what do you do? What's your opinion? Let's hear it! X

Justmuddlingalong Wed 04-Jan-17 20:55:39

I find it a bit creepy tbh. Not cute or sweet, just a bit <shudder>.

AuntieMay Wed 04-Jan-17 20:59:02

As a twin, although obviously a grown up one ( identical) and with an older sister who was only 18 months older, I hate seeing siblings dressed the same. I think it's awful!
My mum dressed us the same for quite a few years until we were 7/8 or if not actually the same different colour versions of same outfit!
We begged to wear different clothes, to be fair once my mum realised we hated it so much it wasn't a problem different clothes but until then we had the same ☹️
Although you say they are obviously individual, they won't look it!! The " novelty" of twins lasts a lifetime, I hate the photos from childhood all dressed the same - IT IS cringeworthy.
I suspect if you ask older twins / siblings this would be how many feel - it is so important to be seen as a separate person in your own right.

petrova Wed 04-Jan-17 21:05:16

Speaking as an identical twin , please don't. It is hard enough trying to convince people that you are an individual when you are dressed differently ; it's almost impossible when your parents dress you identically , sending out the message that they see you both as the same person .
Not really understanding the 'fun' of people not being able to tell them
apart . This is not fun for them
( well, wasn't for my sister and I .)
It is frustrating at best and rather soul destroying at worst.
sorry if this sounds harsh-they are individuals , a lot of people won't bother to find this out , dressing them identically will not help with this .

Artandco Wed 04-Jan-17 21:09:41

Can't they wear similar but different ie same shirt, different colours. Same style shoes but different colours.

FourKidsNotCrazyYet Wed 04-Jan-17 21:10:55

Going against the grain here but I love it, I love to see it and I'd do it if I had twins. I really don't think children care what they're wearing as long as they're not forced into it when they're old enough to form an opinion.

Raines100 Wed 04-Jan-17 21:16:42

One of my best friends is a twin and loved to dress the same as her sister, so it's all subjective. Tbf, I think their mum used to buy them the same outfits to avoid jealousy, and then they chose which to wear each day, so if they were dressed the same, it's because they wanted to be.


HamNJam Wed 04-Jan-17 21:18:46

I used to dress my identical twins in similar but not identically matching outfits (when we managed to struggle out of the house and I wanted them to look "cute", or cuter than they normally werewink)

But generally I never dressed them the same, because as other posters have said, the novelty of being a twin never wears off and my twins would find it incredibly embarrassing and irritating that I didn't differentiate them as much as I could (looking back at photos etc.)

My twins now occasionally choose to dress alike, rarely identically. They find it horribly irritating when people can't tell them apart (even close family angry) and it upsets them to not be considered individually - only as "the twins".

You might regret it when they're older and you can't tell who is who in the photos...

nuttyknitter Wed 04-Jan-17 21:26:04

You're treating them like dolls. Just don't.

TitusAndromedon Wed 04-Jan-17 21:31:21

My twin boys are non-identical, but I tend to dress them in coordinating outfits. So, they might wear the same trousers but tops in different colours or patterns. I do tend to buy things in twos so I know that they will coordinate. However, they do have matching coats because there wasn't a second colour in the one I wanted.

I don't expect them to coordinate forever and I'm sure that, as they get older and develop their own opinions, they will dress differently. For now, however, I love their outfits and think they look great together.

Ellieboolou27 Wed 04-Jan-17 21:31:50

Treating them like dolls smile
I have 2 dd and they have a few matching dresses, they love it and I think it's cute. My mum is an identical twin she and her sister sometimes buy the same clothes but are now at an age where it wouldn't be cute to wear them at the same time grin
Kids will often tell you when they don't want to wear something, go for it smile

doodlejump1980 Wed 04-Jan-17 21:34:38

You try telling two-year old twins that they're not getting to wear their favourite robot t-shirt. That's why they're sometimes dressed the same. But mostly, they're coordinating. But that bloody robot t-shirt!!

Ponyboycurtis Wed 04-Jan-17 21:40:11

I dressed my twins the same most of the time until they started school. These days, at the ripe old age of 7 (!) they are rarely dressed the same as I actively discourage it but they will sometimes get dressed and end up in similar outfits, at times they have a little row about it and other times they dont mind, I try to let them sort it out themselves. If we go clothes shopping together and they both like the same thing i've started suggesting they can 'share' it...... this way we end up with more variety and not so much duplication. Doesnt always work but I used to share clothes with my sister - borrowing tops for nights out etc so i dont see it as being that different.

PastysPrincess Wed 04-Jan-17 21:50:47

I'm not a twin but I have an older sister and we were both dressed the same. It's awful. Not having your own individuality or having your choices respected. Children arent novelty toys to be played with.

Ellieboolou27 Wed 04-Jan-17 22:00:19

Toys and dolls ffs get a grip

timeforheroes Thu 05-Jan-17 02:55:30

I've got twin DDs, they are usually coordinated thanks to Next multibuy tops/leggings. They have the same coats and hats, not really given it a lot of thought, they are under 2 so they don't have strong opinions on clothing yet! In my head, as they get older they'll choose what they want to wear so if they want to wear the same, so be it.
I do think it's a bit twee, but they definitely have worn very similar outfits if it's been something I've really liked.

NerrSnerr Thu 05-Jan-17 03:17:37

' I love the novelty of twins and that other people can't tell them apart'

I don't understand why you'd love that people can't tell them apart? That can't be nice for them? What happens when one of them needs a clothes change? Do you change them all?

It sounds like too much effort for me- I have a 2 year old who has definite likes and dislikes when it comes to clothes and think it would be unfair to ignore that just because I think it's cute.

Twinnypops Thu 05-Jan-17 19:37:27

Mine are always dressed differently. They have separate outfits and there's a colour system. This largely avoids the "which one's this one?" question, which I absolutely hate. I worry that they'll have enough trouble being treated as individuals without me adding to the problem by dressing them the same.

neversleepagain Thu 05-Jan-17 20:53:44

I don't dress my girls the same. I have received identical outfits as gifts and the few times I've dressed them the same I have felt embarrassed, I dont know why I just did. I also don't like being asked if they're twins, so I dress them differently to avoid the twins questions.

Mine have a real sense of what's theirs and they know which top/trousers belongs to who and they hate it when dh and I muddle it. Being a twin is intense enough without looking the same as your sibling all time.

I also never refer to them as twins. They are my girls or my daughter's. My family also dont refer to them as 'the twins' as I never did.

Cadenza1818 Fri 06-Jan-17 17:14:37

When they were babies it was quite fun to dress them identical for special outings but generally don't like it. I certainly stopped when they older. It's so unfair to put them in a position where ppl ask them 'which one they are'. School uniform really bothers me too as I struggle to tell them apart from behind! And yes I believe you're treating them like dolls / accessories

Twinning546 Fri 20-Jan-17 18:03:55

HamNJam I'm curious about your comment regarding regretting it when you look back at photos and can't tell them apart! Did you colour code them, e.g. DT1 always purple? Otherwise I can't see how the clothes help you identify them, I can't remember what mine had on yesterday never mind a long time ago blush

Phillpot12 Fri 20-Jan-17 21:28:09

Mine are identical so one has often worn something spotty as a code and friends/school all know this so it helps to avoid some of the who's who. They don't have any matching outfits, lots are hand me downs from elder sibling/friends and just don't see the point in making life more confusing! in newborn baby photos I made sure they had 'their' hat/identifying clothing in it so I can say who is who !

Disforduster Fri 20-Jan-17 21:35:47

Mine are boy-girl, but I don't think I'd have dressed them the same if they'd been the same. What if one pukes? Do you change both outfits? I couldn't be bothered.

Katietwinmum Tue 24-Jan-17 15:24:04

I do dress my boys the same at the moment.they are not identical and are 18 months. But I know it wont last much longer and they are physically quite different shapes so I will start to have different things for them soon.

I think its cute but would agree that having 7 or 8 year olds matching would be a bit much!

Bluntness100 Tue 24-Jan-17 15:27:28

I find it a bit cringeworthy too to be honest, like the parent is playing dress up with dolls, but each to their own.

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