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Choosing twins?

(24 Posts)
Bibs2014 Wed 05-Oct-16 21:01:09

Would I be mad to have 2 eggs put back when I have IVF next month? Already have a 2-yr-old DS.

neversleepagain Wed 05-Oct-16 22:05:20

I love my twins dearly but I would have preferred one baby at a time. I would personally never have chosen twins. Dh and I wont be having more. Read what you like from that smile

fredabear Wed 05-Oct-16 22:12:01

Likewise - love my twins very much but wouldn't choose to have two at once

Ilovewillow Wed 05-Oct-16 22:18:24

We had two eggs put back on both IVF attempts - the first we lost one of our twins at around 10 weeks and the second time we lost a twin at about 6 weeks. The first time we found out we were expecting twins we were thrilled, the second time pleased but more concerned as we already had a 5 yr old by then. If I were to go back I think I would be tempted to go for just one! Good luck with whatever you decide!

mellysam Thu 06-Oct-16 08:55:47

I have newborn twins and love them dearly but its very hard work. They are very time intensive, and I am very fortunate because my DH has stopped work to be a SAHD so we are both at home at the moment.
I was reading a thread the other day which might be a good read for you as this was discussed -
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/infertility/2742520-one-embryo-or-two
Wishing you all the best

Bibs2014 Thu 06-Oct-16 14:37:20

Thanks so much all.

Reading that thread now mellysam.

FreeButtonBee Thu 06-Oct-16 14:41:53

One! There is a risk of twins even with one transfer as I think IVF embryos are less stable. I know someone who had two eggs put in who ended up with triplets (2 of whom have quite severe disabilities).

I have twins and I adore them but it was fucking hard work for the first 18months. 3 under 3 was a walk in the park in comparison and I enjoyed my singleton baby so much more than my twins because I wasn't so tired and I could hold him and still do stuff. Not really possible with twins wailing at the same time!

Lintilla Thu 06-Oct-16 14:53:22

I had two put back in March and in the end it wasn't my decision, the clinic advised me to have two put back. I would wait and see what your egg quality is like and how they fertilise before thinking too much about it. In the end only two of my 9 eggs made it through so they were both put back. I am currently 33 weeks with a single baby, I had a bleed at 5 weeks which may have been the other one going.

Whatever happens, good luck!

luckythirteen Fri 07-Oct-16 12:49:45

Like other posters I love my twins to bits, but it is such hard work and I often feel I would be enjoying motherhood much more if I had just the one. It's so hard and often in ways you couldn't even imagine beforehand. I went in for the transfer expecting to just have one embryo put back, but while on the table they advised us to have two as they were not great quality. So I had seconds to decide and felt they were the experts...

yoyobananas3 Fri 07-Oct-16 13:59:42

Much as I am besotted by our twins, the past 15 months have been relentless. The intensity of two babies demanding attention at the same time can be overwhelming.

Caper86 Fri 07-Oct-16 14:11:18

Twins are really, really hard work (though of course a joy wink). Also twin pregnancy carries a higher risk, which after having IVF isn't something you really want on your plate.

Thatznotmyname Sat 08-Oct-16 21:54:15

I adore my twin girls and wouldn't have it any other way! I think it must be harder to have two of different ages! At least with two you can sleep at the same time etc

Thatznotmyname Sat 08-Oct-16 21:55:28

But then I'm probably too old now for more....

BillSykesDog Sat 08-Oct-16 22:01:25

I had two eggs put back and now have twins. I wouldn't change it. From some of the things I read when pregnant I thought it would be horrendous so the reality has been a nice surprise as it's not been too bad, although it is hard work. I have a 4 year old DS too. You might find it easier if your toddler is attending nursery for at least the free 15 hours though if you go ahead.

For me it worked well as I wanted more than two children but obviously paying to have two lots of IVF was not very viable with one lot of mat leave thrown in too so it got around that. Time was not massively on my side either so it overcame that problem too.

namechangedtoday15 Sat 08-Oct-16 22:04:59

I guess the question is whether you'd want 2 more children or just one more? And if you do want 3 do you have the time / money / inclination to do it all again.

Yes twins are hard work but you already have a baby so you know what you're letting yourself in for. I think the benefits of having twins (less time out of your career, same stahe of development (walking talking, sleeping, potty training) time starting school, ready made playmate far far outweigh the difficulties of newborn twins.

DorothyHarris Thu 20-Oct-16 15:01:06

3 so little is very very hard. I have a DD who is 2.8 and 7m twins. It's been the hardest time of my life. I love my children but my word I sometimes wonder how easy it would be if I'd just had one baby.

Willow21 Thu 20-Oct-16 15:03:49

It depends on a lot of things .....

Have you had a lot of failed cycles ? I've had 5 so next time we will put back 2 embryos in the hope of getting g just 1 baby

Also they are day 3 embryos. I wouldn't put back two day 5 embryos

Bodeccia Thu 20-Oct-16 21:39:31

I had this decision too. I thought: I'd rather have two than none. DD1 was 22 months when DTs were born.

It was pretty hard, but the physically hard bit - the really early bit - doesn't last for ever.

Wouldn't change anything, except sometimes I find myself wishing time away, knowing it will be easier rather than savouring the moments. It is important to savour the moments smile

User1987654 Fri 18-Nov-16 22:22:05

I'm trying to conceive at 43 and I have been hoping that I will have twins due to not wanting a second pregnancy. The twin threads seem to be an eye opener. However, in my case having two children close together in ages, wouldn't be that easy either.

Did you guys have twins in the family? DH has a grandmother with a twin and a cousin who had twins. But I think it has to be on my side not his, right? I have heard older women who eat lots of dairy ( that's me lol) have an increase chance of having twins as well.

neversleepagain Sat 19-Nov-16 11:47:16

Twins on the man's side doesn't influence you conceiving twins. Both my paternal and maternal grandmothers had fraternal girls as did I.

MoMandaS Sat 19-Nov-16 11:55:59

My twins were easier babies put together than my singleton, who was 2.9 when they were born. Logistically, things were and are still tricky. They're toddlers now and little terrors but amazing. Watching them play together and making each other laugh just wipes out all the drudgery associated with caring for them. Having said that, they were nearly triplets (had a bleed at 8 weeks which it transpired was one of them going), which would have been a whole other story! I think it's probably easier having multiples if you've already had the total shock to the system of having a baby.

BeingATinselTwatItsABingThing Sat 19-Nov-16 12:01:30

I always said I would love to have twins but after having 1 DD, I can imagine how hard 2 must be.

RitaCrudgington Sat 19-Nov-16 12:09:05

The difficulty of managing two heathy newborns is an issue of course, but a surmountable one.

But personally, having seen two different friends with twins have quite premature births (32 weeks) and spend months by cot sides in NICU (all four babies survived with no major disabilities, but unknown consequences to their later development) I'd never choose twins if I had a choice. I think the risks to their health are just too great. And I especially would want to avoid a premature birth if I already had a toddler.

User1987654 Sat 19-Nov-16 16:57:36

Thanks never sleep again. I did think that was the case. I don't recall twins on my family side but can't be sure. As an only child, I'd be happy with one. At my age, one pregnancy is enough. Lol.

I feel sorry for you guys that have twins and a toddler. I couldn't imagine that!

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