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Partner doesn't want this baby

(4 Posts)
user1468097806 Sat 09-Jul-16 22:49:44

Last November I found out my partner was having an affair with someone ten years younger. The same week I found out that I was expecting our third baby. My life was complelty turned upside down. We had been back together for 4 months after and 8 month break up which happened 4 months after the birth of our son and second child and he was still living with his mum and dad. I'm not going to say things where perfect because they wernt we had our fair share of arguments but I put it down to not living together and only spending the weekends together. But I didn't want to rush back to living together either as I wanted us to work. He had been acting off for a week or so and I knew something wasn't right. When I eventually found out he couldn't be more remorseful telling me how it had been a mistake and how sorry he was. looking back at messages he had sent me I actually relised he had been with her when he was messaging me making plans for the weekend. And when he was sleeping with me he was messaging her when I was asleep. I think if I hadn't of found out I was pregant again I wouldn't of got back together with him. I don't know why but I demanded to see the messages on his phone from her I think this just made me feel even worse it was full of all that gross pet names and saying how much they missed each other and then him slagging me off to her when he was with me and of course the sexting ( I don't think I will ever get those messages out of my head) after a week I agreed to give things another go yes some of you might think I'm nieve and asking how I can give a man who has disrespected me so much another chance and tbh I would agree to a certain extent I don't know how I did but I did. He changed his number and we worked hard on our relationship. Of course the fact that he told me they didn't use any protection made me feel sick and I spent the next month or so worrying that he had got her pregant. I still think about it though and it still makes me angry I still feel sick when it decides to spring back into my mind.

Fast forward 8 months and I'm a week away from a planned section. I had an emergency section with my last due to health problems which he ended up in the neonatal for 5 weeks I decided that I wanted this one to be out quick and safe without the stress of labour. Anyway to say that my partner had been unsupportive would be an understatement when I first told him I was pregant he said that he wanted me to get an abortion. But I refused as I would never have an abortion and to me this baby was very much wanted even though the situation was far from ideal at the time. I thought once he had come to the scans he would change his mind but he didn't. I had to have regular brain scans on the baby as he was being monitored for the same problems as my son and I found myself feeling more and more alone in the whole pregancy journey. Everytime I tried to get him involved he would blank me or give me one word answers. Whenever we had an arguemwnt he would throw how he didn't want this baby in my face and how I was selfish and it was just me that wanted him.

The past two weeks I've been in and out of hospital with appointments for scans and seeing my consultant and aneasatist and as I've struggled with getting childcare my partner had to take time off work to watch the kids while I went . He's recently started a new job which seems to be more important to him than anything as he makes me feel guilty for asking him to take time off I just feel like this baby is a massive burden on him by how he's acting. He's even told me he's hoping am out of hospital by the Sunday so he can go straight back to work on the Monday. So when I get home he's not going to help and I'm going to be alone with a 4 year old 2 year old and newborn after having a section just so he can go back to work. He's even said in arguments that I can go to the section by myself (I know he will end up coming as he wants to look good Infront of everyone and his family) so know I feel like he's just coming because he has to not that he wants to. I can't even talk to him about being nervous or anything baby birth related as he's just not interested he just cares about how Much it's all costing.

I told him he would need to take a couple of extra days off and he keeps going on about money and how he doesn't want to take any more time of from work. I was talking to him about registering the birth today and how he would need to be there and he said that he wasn't fussed if his name was on our sons birth certificate or not. He's on our other two children's. I've never felt more alone I'm really hoping that once he holds him he will change his mind and will treat him the same as the other two but just now I feel like he just doesn't care at all. I really don't know what to do as to me I already love this baby as much as I love our other two children. I just don't understand how he can love our other two but complelty disown this one .

tyke1989 Sat 09-Jul-16 23:09:41

Leave him he is a waste of space, you're time with your family should come above everything else money will always be around the chance for him to bond with his children will not they grow old so fast, children don't remember such things as money they remember the time and love they are given.

CodyKing Sat 09-Jul-16 23:20:53

Do you want to be with him OP?

I think you'd be better off alone and get more family support.

Pisssssedofff Tue 26-Jul-16 23:47:21

Get his name on the birth certificate, makes child support easier to obtain. Then kick this piece of shit to the kurb. I'm so angry on your behalf, do you have real life support ?

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