Struggling with 15mo twins(9 Posts)
I have 15 month ok twins and all they do is scream. They were brilliant babies, when they cried they stopped the second you picked them up but now they just whinge and cry all day, if I leave the room they follow me screaming, I can't even make a drink or put a wash on and I cant cope with it any more, I don't know what to do, I must have done something to change them into clingy screaming toddlers, they never used to be like this. To my shame im gutted today is a bank holiday and I would rather be in work than listen to the screaming all day long.
I feel the same but with my 23 month old. Sorry no advice but sympathy in abundance.
I don't have twins but I have 13 months between my two. It sounds like they're going through a separation anxiety phase. It will pass, you've done absolutely nothing wrong, unfortunately all babies go through it. They've realised that you can leave them now (whereas before they didn't know they were a separate being from you). Playing lots of peekaboo and shouting to them when you leave a room will help because then they'll start to understand that even though you leave you will come back.
With regards to feeling like you can't cope, PND is very common and can start to show months after giving birth. If you're feeling down and not seeing enjoyment in things you did previously it may be an idea to book an appointment with a Dr.
I have PND and I'm now on ADs. I feel like I can cope so much better and that small things don't bother me as much anymore.
ADs aren't for everyone and if you do start taking them they can take a while to kick in. The side effects for the first week or so aren't great (I felt nauseous, dizzy and extremely tired) but if you can get through that then it's worth it.
Try giving them tasks, get them involved with what you are doing so they are "helping you". Of course you won't get a huge amount done but if they feel involved there will be less panic when you leave the room.
So with the laundry put some stuff in a basket for them and have them "come along and help mummy" ie sit on the floor in the kitchen messing with the basket and some towels or something whilst you bundle the wash on. When you go to the kitchen get them set up on the floor or at the table with a bunch of plastic cups or whatever "helping mummy" whilst you get yourself a drink. Hopefully they will be keen to be involved and then you can give them each a specific "job" or thing to play with really and they (best case scenario) will not fight with each other over who has what.
Have one room with a gate on that is safe to leave them in or a playpen that you can just stick them in for a minute for safety when you need to and try to use it as little as possible.
It is a tricky age (with 1 nevermind 2) and the seperation anxiety can come and go as their brains develop and they become more aware therefore fearful but it tends to pass really quickly (days or weeks) so if you can just accept that the house will be messy and not much will get done when you have your hands full with both kids then life will be a lot easier. Maybe it would be a good idea to try to arrange adventures out and visitors on days when you are due to have the twins on your own? Maybe see if Homestart will help for a bit?
If all else fails put happy music on and get them dancing, strap them into the buggy and walk, build forts and play epic games of peekaboo, fill the bath with bubbles and cups for pouring - whatever you can find that they like just do that. If you can't beat em join em - don't worry they will grow quick!
Thanks so much for your sympathy and replies, some good advice there that I will try out, much appreciated X
It's bloody hard work at that age. It's physically and mentally draining. I found age 1-2 so much harder than newborn-1. When they got to 3 it all got a lot easier. Now they're 5 they have their moments but on the whole they get on well.
I agree, someone asked me today if it was hard work and I realised this year is harder than last!
My twins are 13mo and we went to visit family at the weekend with them and our 2.5yo.
It was Hell on Earth, the twins spent most of the time a) screaming or b) trying to crack their heads open on various hard surfaces. They wouldn't go to sleep until almost midnight on Saturday night. Never, ever again.
I think it's just a tricky time for babies - they're trying to walk, they're cutting new teeth, they're feeling separation anxiety. It's all overwhelming!
What's helping a bit here is sticking to a routine as much as we can and getting all the fresh air and getting out of the house as much as possible.
You're not alone
Thanks, sorry your weekend was so horrific! I'm finding getting them out helps a little, think they get bored in the house, that didn't stop me eyeing up earplugs in Tesco yesterday though!
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