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(9 Posts)
Laura280315 Fri 22-Apr-16 16:48:36

Hi all, I'm looking for advice/ tips maybe just reassurance regarding taking my 12mo ds's out and about.

I recently took them on my own to our local park, one tried to escape out of the swing so I took him out and let him have a wander( still sometime wobbly on uneven ground) holding his hand while I carried on pushing his brother, he wanted to go a little further so I let go and picked his brother out of the swing as by this point he had had enough too, I let them just wander and discover the grass etc, after a little while I needed to go so loaded up one baby by while doing so the other one tripped and started crying( not hurt was on soft grass) I quickly finished strapping in baby 1 so he didn't fall out of his pram onto harder ground then attended to baby 2 who had picked himself up and was back happy again but while All this was going on I noticed two ladies watching me (had been from start so part the reason for not staying long) but they kept looking over and shaking their heads. Just wondering if I'm the worlds worst mum cause I didn't keep 100% attention on both dc, I'm scared to venture out incase people think I'm a bad mum

Sorry to drone on but these things keep happening and it's really got me down, feel like I'm confined to my house

mellysam Tue 26-Apr-16 16:17:14

I haven't got to your stage yet (20 weeks pregnant with twins) so sorry can't really offer any helpful tips or advise but from reading your post sounds pretty similar to what i'm expecting my future to be like!

You definitely don't sound like a bad mum, kids had fun at the park. Was it the other women watching that made you feel worse? I.e. If there had been no one else around would you have even given this any thought? If so its hard but totally ignore, they clearly have no idea.
I haven't joined yet but I will probably find a local twins group when mine arrive to get some stories from other parents.

chaseisonthecase Tue 26-Apr-16 19:11:50

My twins are only 7 months so not yet at the walking stage, but I do also have a 3yo.

Until someone has experience actually having twins they have NO RIGHT to comment.

If both of my twins are crying I can't physically pick both up to comfort them meaning I'll have to let one cry for a couple of minutes. I've also been in situations where I've had to ignore both of them in their pram crying to attend to older DS who's fallen/needs assistance, etc.

I've been on the receiving end of a number of dirty looks when I've done this. I appreciate a crying baby for a minute or 2 can seem like hours, but it's really not. I know they are safe. I do not have 6 arms. I have however learned the 'eyes in back of head' skill you've evidently also mastered as you knew exactly where your child was and that they were safe.

Be proud you got your DTs out fit a play on your own. Its no mean feat having to plan a day around 2 babies. And if you see any more had shaking I'd be inclined to tell them to fuck themselves say loud enough for them to hear 'ooh wouldn't it be nice if mummy could grow another pair of arms to help!?' Might make them think twice about the juggling act you are doing so well at.

Laura280315 Tue 26-Apr-16 21:23:07

Thanks guys, just makes me feel like I'm doing a bad job when people stare and making judgements. I moved to an area where I have no friends and never see mine anymore (they are still having too much fun) so I'm very lonely and don't feel confident telling by people to sod off cause I don't wanna make enemy's before I make any friends :/

MotheringShites Tue 26-Apr-16 21:29:23

The most supportive place I found was my local Twins Club. With everybody in the same boat, no one ever expected you to be constantly attentive to both children and we would be much more likely to pick up a crying toddler or keeping an eye on one while we knew mum was dealing with the other.

ceeveebee Tue 26-Apr-16 21:37:49

Laura, it sounds like you are doing just fine, and well done for getting out on your own. Children need to be allowed to explore (safely) and find their own way.

My twins are 4.5 now and the judgey looks are just water off a ducks back to me, could not care less what anyone else thinks. It can be hard to go out on your own with them at first - I used to try wherever possible to go out with a friend, either another twin mum or from my NCT group, as two adults makes everything a lot easier (especially when they get to the potty training/toilet stage!). Is there a local twin group you could join to meet some other parents?
Otherwise I used to just make sure I had one by me all the time to avoid that whole "both gone in different directions" thing. Used to scoop one under my arm to give chase to the other.
Also maybe scout places out at weekend when you can take reinforcements. Then when you return on your own you know exactly where to park, where the gates are, which cafes are doable etc.
Best of luck - it will get easier in time.

NanaNina Tue 26-Apr-16 21:40:29

How horrid - maybe you should have asked if they'd got a problem. I thought you were going to say you couldn't get to the end of the road before being stopped - "Oh are they twins - are they boys - both of them - are they identical" etc etc. Many years ago my sister had triplets and she couldn't go anywhere without all these comments the while time and it really got her down. She stopped dressing them alike and that helped.

I thought of those far off days and had a smile with something on U tube - there was a pram with a big notice covering the babies saying "yes they're twins, yes both girls, no not identical, but yes they are alike and yes I'm sure they're not identical!"
No nasty looks or comments though

twinkletoedelephant Tue 26-Apr-16 21:48:05

My boys are now seven they were babies last week I swear

They will run off they will climb and fall of stuff. They will always do this when you have the other one

Find parks that are fenced in, we use to go to the same 6 parks in order and we had rules for each one still do
Twins actually both fit in one baby swing back to back....makes life much easier.
Twin club was great to meet local mums who just knew what it was like without saying oh I don't know how you cope...

It turns out that most people are actually staring at you... But not in a bad way... More in a omg how does she do that everyday kinda way... She must be superwoman... And obviously you are :-)

mellysam Tue 26-Apr-16 21:54:16

"Twins actually both fit in one baby swing back to back....makes life much easier"
twinkletoedelephant that is genius - I need to start a notebook of tips like that

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