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Please tell me this gets easier

(18 Posts)
Wildflower91 Sun 03-Apr-16 23:32:12

I have 3 month old identical twins and every day I feel like walking out the door and never coming back. They have been so unsettled since birth, the first 2 months they were sick constantly and never stopped screaming for the full 24 hours of the day. We were prescribed nutramagin AA formula which helped a lot but they still don't nap during the day and constantly want held or else they scream. It is so tough that I don't feel like I have bonded with them at all because they just drain me of any energy I have :-( I feel like such a failure because I cannot establish any sort of routine with them. Please tell me it gets easier as the months go on!

neversleepagain Mon 04-Apr-16 14:31:41

I really felt for you reading your post.

I promise it gets easier in many ways! The first few months are quite hellish and you are not alone in feeling like this. I hated the newborn stage immensely, so much so that it has put me off having anymore children. At 6 months when the feeding isn't so relentless it gets easier and at 12 months I started to feel like I got a bit of my life back.

My girls are 3.6 now and while there are many challenges and I feel like I could tear my hair out somedays it is 100 times better than the first year.

Feel free to message me if you want to chat thanks

yoyobananas3 Mon 04-Apr-16 18:32:06

So glad to see I'm not the only one who finds this difficult. I have 8 month old b/g twins and a 3 year old. Twins are very erratic daytime sleepers leading to total overtiredness come bed time. Also have various feeding issues. Aaaahhhhh sometimes I feel like I'm drowning and thought it would be a lot easier by now.

TheEagle Mon 04-Apr-16 20:08:44

Hugs to you!

It does get easier, well most parts do!

My twins are almost 1 and things are definitely easier now. I find it easier to get out and about now plus they only have 1 nap.

I have a 2.5 yo as well so the days are very full on but the boys are starting to wrestle interact more and more and they entertain each other.

I still have tough times, the nights are so rough now I'm back at work. We also had the vomiting bug rampaging through the house which was very hard.

PM me if you'd like to rant or chat or whatever! You're doing great, it's a challenge there's no doubt about that flowers

Minisoksmakehardwork Mon 04-Apr-16 20:13:37

It does get easier, and different. The challenges change. Mine turned 4 at the weekend and now I deal with them opening first floor windows, refusing to tidy their toys, generally being argumentative and twin boy asking why to every damn thing I say to him <and breathe!>

I think about 12 months was a turning point for me mentally. I realised we'd survived a full year! One was walking, the other had teeth.

Do you have baby bouncer/rocker chairs? They were a godsend when they both wanted to be held and my elder 2 wanted my attention too. Poop them in, snuggle with a blanket - kind of swaddled although mine liked their hands out. Place by feet and sit on sofa, rock while sorting the bigger dc. I must admit with our twins they were probably left 'alone' as opposed to being held a lot more than the older two had been at similar ages as I simply didn't have enough hands. It doesn't mean I love them any less, although they are more likely to climb onto my lap now than the older ones. But you find new ways of juggling things.

Gypsytears Thu 07-Apr-16 08:47:37

Have a read up about silent reflux. My three were the same at about this age, see if you think the symptoms fit and if so go and see the GP. They'll start you on gaviscon and then if they need more intervention they'll give them ranitidine. Keep your chin up, it's bloody hard but by the time they are 6 months things will few more settled

Charlie86mumoftwins Thu 07-Apr-16 11:50:24

I have twin boys, 6 months. The first few months were really hard going, particularly night time. In fact, for the first 10 weeks we couldn't get them to sleep at all and ended up keeping them downstairs in Moses baskets and doing 3 hour shifts each. I was like a zombie in the day while my poor partner had to go to work on only a few hours sleep. They still don't sleep through, we got to a point where they would wake around 2 and 5 which was so much better. But now they have both taken it in turns to have conjunctivitis and colds so nights have been hard again.

When the boys have been really unsettled in the day (many times, especially when poorly) I have found getting out the house with them has helped a lot. I take them for a walk around town twice a day to give myself a breather from the crying. They sometimes then stay asleep for a while in the pushchair when I get home so I can catch up on jobs. I have also got a swing that is really useful for putting one in while I feed and settle the other. Joining a baby group at the childrens centre has also helped a lot.

Keep positive, you're doing a great job and it WILL get easier xx

Frostybird Sat 09-Apr-16 08:10:23

I found it got easier from about 6 months, we have a good routine which has made a massive difference and saved my sanity.

I agree with getting out of the house everyday, mine were much happier with a trip out every day.

Wildflower91 Sat 09-Apr-16 09:19:41

Thanks to everyone for their kind, encouraging words. I've actually noticed such a big difference in a few days, babies are much more settled and slept 10-8 last night!! :-) maybe just an age thing! Feeling positive and very lucky today. Thanks again x

Jog1979 Sun 10-Apr-16 14:47:52

Hello everybody. I have 9 year old twin boys and my sister has 23 year old twin boys.
We were only chatting the other day on how there were very few none judgmental groups for parents of multiples or those that are expecting so I have set up a group.
The group is for discussion and buy sell and swap, sharing events, offers...anything really.
There is no age limit to the twins age either! (I have made it closed as I do not want reps advertising at all) Thank you if you are interested please comment and I will add the link. I hope to see you as one of our lovely members. xx

Wildflower91 Sun 10-Apr-16 15:43:49

Hi Jog yes I would be interested

Jog1979 Sun 10-Apr-16 16:33:45

Hi I have just messaged you the link xx

CodyKing Sun 10-Apr-16 16:38:40

You need to raise their heads above their stomach - AT ALL TIMES sounds like really bad acid - this will stop make a huge difference in a few days -

Feed them in baby chairs - and leave to settle

Cushion for nappy changes

Folded towel under the mattress

Cushion on the sofa

It gets better at 6 months only because they are sitting up to play - so the acid stays down

You'll notice they sleep better in a car seat or raised pram -

Good luck

robertsharp Sun 17-Apr-16 12:09:56

My identical twin sons are 2. The first six months was hideous. Now they have their moments but are essentially a joy. It does get better.

Readyforthefuture Tue 19-Apr-16 20:50:05

Wildflower there isn't much between our twins, mine are 16 weeks tomorrow. Two non identical girls. It's definitely been a challenge, and just when you think you"be cracked it something else will crop up. I'm a total zombie today after a terrible night, the night after a brilliant one.

I don't have any words of wisdom, just wanted you to know you're not alone.

jog, really interesting in joining the group too, I'm the only twin mum in my antenatal Facebook group so would be nice to talk to people who 'get' the twin thing

Realhousewivesofcroydon Wed 20-Apr-16 20:35:26

Hang in there. Mine are 20 months and I have to say from around 16 months onwards I've really started to enjoy them. Sounds awful but the first year was SO tough that it was hard to see any pleasure. Jog, can I join your group please?

forcedgeneric Thu 25-Aug-16 22:36:42

Hi Jog, could I join your group? Have 5 month old (3.5 months adjusted) twin boys and often feel like I am failing miserably. Would be great to have a group of people who get it, it seems that all advice is tailored towards one baby.....

thelionsleeps Tue 06-Sep-16 13:56:34

Can I have the link please. Thanks

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