Wishing time away(7 Posts)
My DTs are 6.5mo and thriving!
However I find that I'm constantly wishing time away to a (mythical?) time when it will "get easier".
I know my older DS was easier from about 11/12mo so I find I'm fixating on that.
I feel very guilty because I feel like I'm not appreciating my babies enough. Feel like I don't hold them enough or cuddle them enough. It's so hard to keep things going along with DS1 as well (he's 2.1).
Do other multiple mums feel like this? I have a few multiple mum friends who I can confide in but I feel like my family, while they are a super support, don't really "get it".
I certainly felt like that, and a lot of multiple mums (especially with other children) felt the same way.
It's hard not to feel guilty about it, but honestly so many twin mums agree that the first year is just about survival.
There are of course little moments in every (most?!) day that are enjoyable - focus on them, and don't worry about the rest.
I am fixated about the point in time when I can get rid of my double buggy!
I was exactly the same, could not wait for the baby stage to end. There was a real turning point at a year and things got easier in some ways.
Mine are 3 now and I am so glad they are no longer two, that was tough for us!
I feel guilty when I think back to them as babies, I didn't get to cuddle them as much as I would have liked. There was just always too much to do. When I hear mothers with one baby saying their babies slept on them I feel slightly jealous as we never really had this time as there were two of them.
Thank you for the replies, it's so nice to know I'm not alone in these feelings.
DS1 slept on me/DH for a large portion of the first year of his life. He rarely cried because he was always in our arms! I feel so guilty because I can't do that for DTs.
We do cuddle them whenever we can!
There are lovely moments every day - DTs are really interacting with one another now and DS1 loves making them laugh which is so cute - but the days are always so busy. Feels like there's never enough time! I suppose that's part and parcel of having 3 small children.
Felt the same with dts and an older Ds. I still do feel guilty about being able to give no one as much time individually as I feel they deserve
But they get a lot from playing with each other.
I did find it got easier when they could walk.
Hey totally get it. My mum kept saying enjoy these baby months and I did but I also knew that them walking, eating by themselves etc would make life a load easier. I would say though that for every thing that gets easier, a new problem emerges e.g walking - fab not to carry them but then they go in opposite directions!
cadenza you've reminded me of a funny moment when I had my twin DSs on a wrist strap each. They walked round either side of a tree trunk then lay down. I was stuck with arms stretched out either side of a tree trunk, body wedged up against it. Couldn't reach hands together to undo straps. Haha, those were the days! Eagle please don't be too hard on yourself. You're doing the best you can and bringing them up in a loving, caring way. I used to feel guilty too - if I looked at one and spoke to him, he'd be all smiles and coos, but the other one would be sitting waiting for me to make him smile too! I couldn't look both in the eyes at the same time. I felt bad about it, but that's silly. I also had a third child and felt spread thinly. But that's families and pros and cons and they all come in different shapes and sizes. They're all older now and won't be aware of any of that. You're doing a great job, keep it up!
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