Split up DT's or keep in same class?(17 Posts)
DT's are starting Reception in September. They've been in the same class in Nursery but the school are now splitting cohort into two groups.
I think I might have made a mistake in agreeing to the teacher's advice to split them?
Anyone regretted their decision to sit/keep them together?
I have never regretted my decision to keep them together. They had the bonus of the other one's presence which reassured them and helped their confidence. I felt they were much luckier than the other children!Logistically for me things have always been much easier too. I am asked every year so have always got the choice to split.
I kept mine together and think it's for the best. We were actually advised to keep them together unless there was an overly dominant twin or some other reason why it would be detrimental to keep them together. Both sets in my DTs year stayed together.
There are 4 sets of twins in Number 3s year. 2 sets were separated, 2 sets kept together. I think it really depends on the children but I think the starting point is keep them together and separate if there's good cause, rather than look for a reason to keep them together.
I'm a twin was always together was never a problem. If I was going with my best friend who lived next door I wouldn't insist we were in separate class's just Because I knew them very well.
It's helpful if they are both reading the same book, doing the same spellings , home works. School trips same day etc
I always had other friends was just my sister was always there too, like she was the rest of the time!
Thanks for your replies. Makes sense regarding keeping them together as a starting point. Yikes ... tricky conversation with teacher tomorrow ....
Are your twins identical?
I am, and as being identical requires extra effort to develop one's identity I'm glad our primary and secondary school separated us. It allowed us to forge our own friendships and stopped the extreme competition between us academically.
We eventually became part of the same friendship group later in high school, but by then felt confident enough in ourselves to be comfortable together.
I posted above about keeping my twins together but I'm also a twin so can see it from both sides. My T and I had to wear name badges so teachers could tell us apart and it did lead to being known sometimes as "the X twins" rather than "mandy" and "mandy's sister". It made us very competitive too although I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. BUT I loved having her there (mostly!) and it actually helped us in senior school as we could chat about homework, things we weren't sure about. I think the vast majority of high schools stream now, our school did, and my sister and I were very similar abilities. We were in the same "set" for everything (year group divided into sets - only 1 per ability group) so even if my parents had wanted us to be in separate classes, it wouldn't have been possible at high school.
Hmm tricky..mine are currently together. Plus sides:
They are great friends
It's easier for me!
They're identical and most ppl are good at knowing who's who but some aren't.
They don't really have any close friends
I really wanted them separate but it's too small a school. However I've reasoned with myself that's its only primary.
I sway from loving their closeness to wishing they had time to develop their own things. I'm sooo on the fence ! Sorry op
Hello, just wanted to add that Tamba have just published (last day or so) their findings into twin placements at school.
I've only read the summary and think it basically comes down to what you think your twins need, but might be worth a read.
My twins are or at that stage yet - fun ahead! Good luck with whatever you decide.
I separated mine and am very pleased. One is very able academically and one is not yet with some behaviour issues. Able twin always came home from nursery with tales of misbehaviour; she was embarrassed by him and tried to cover up his mistakes. Now they are in separate classes, they are both learning at their own pace: he is coping better than I expectesd and she is forging ahead without the worry. Of the many impossible parenting decisions we've faced, this is one which I'm pretty confident we got right.
My ID twins are being split, and it's partly at my specific request. I want them to be seen and to develop as individuals. At nursery, they are always together, so they don't need to make friends, people see them as "the twins", and most people who know them casually can't tell them apart. For all of those reasons, they are being split.
My twins are split (as are all the other twins in their year)
It's been a good decision for us they have made their own friends and aren't referred to as 'the twins'. In fact it was two months into term before my DD's teacher realised that she had a twin brother in the other class.
They aren't equally academic and I think the less able one would have found it very very difficult to have constantly had their sibling's brilliance thrown in their face all day long at school. Homework is traumatic enough.
Although I think having my twins together helped them settle in reception, I'd rather they'd been separated after that. They're in a very small village school so two years to a class. We did have the option of splitting them for year one but it effectively would have been putting one up and keeping one back, which we felt wouldn't have been positive for them. I'd have split them in a heartbeat if they'd been in equivalent classes.
DD is very well behaved, DS is not, but constant comparison with his sister doesn't help him, as school very much hold her behaviour up as an example. We've had some really challenges this year with a three way friendship triangle. Also they are always together, they don't get much of a break. It topped it off this week when their teacher got them confused in their reports, fortunately for extra curricular activities but still not great.
I'm splitting my ID twins up for the first time this September for year 4. They have always been very close and seemed to do well together, but this year it has become apparent that they are too closely tangled up at school.
The teacher has really struggled to treat them as individuals and their report has really highlighted that they have become so dependent on each other that they are losing out academically.
We have decided to split them and I am feeling confident that it is the right decision now that they are old enough (8) to cope with a small amount of separation at school. They will still be together the majority of the time, evenings and weekends.
My ID girls were put in separate classes in year 1 due to constant arguing with each other in the class. Sigh.
Sorry just noticed this thread is a few months old....
My kids have not started their schooling yet, but when they do I would want them to be in the same class. Later on when they take up their careers they are most probably going to have different decisions, but for now I want them together.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.