Managing 3 under 2

[TheEagle]

Just looking for some reassurance I suppose!

My twins are 7 weeks old (born at 35+6) and still really just sleeping, feeding and pooing

My DS1 just turned 20 months and he is so tough at the moment. We moved house shortly after the twins were born so his little world has been totally rocked.

He's pushing every boundary he can and he's so hard to entertain when I'm managing the twins.

He won't sit still to play a game on the iPad/do stickers etc while I'm feeding - he's climbing on things or trying to "hug" one of the babies.

A lot of the time when I'm dealing with the twins I have to put him into the playpen with toys and TV. I feel hugely guilty about this! I put the twins down the moment I'm finished and give him one to one time.

Please tell me it gets easier when he gets a bit more sense.

He's going to a childminder for 5 mornings a week and that's saving all our sanity I think! She has two little girls and he's getting on great there. He's an angel there apparently but he's just so difficult at home

I don't know what I'm looking for really, just a bit of reassurance that he won't remember this difficult time and that I will have time for him again!

[littlegemsem]

Hi I have almost 2yr old twin boys & 2 teenagers so not really the same but wanted to offer you support! The first few months with twins are about survival so don't worry about relying on the TV for your 20 month old, sometimes needs must! His behaviour sounds perfectly normal both for his age and considering the recent upheaval. My advice would be to remain consistent and praise him whenever he is playing nicely/doing as he is asked. Once the twins settle into a routine you will be able to get a bit more one to one time with your son. It's not easy so give yourself a break xxx

[Cadenza1818]

You poor thing . Hard work! I had reverse, twins first then baby so I know about 3 under 3. Was prob easier that way round though as twins entertain. I would be totally using playpen and preservere with it. It'll do him no harm and you can feed / change in peace. I used TV a lot too and felt awful. It does pass I promise. Just keep giving him one to one time, and try sending him on 'special errands' to get him involved. His communication and development will be so different in just 3/4 months and he'll be much easier. My only question is, childminder ? I can totally see why you have one, but is he feeling excluded? 5 mornings is a lot if this is a new thing too. Though chaotic , I actually found it easier with all 3 under one roof!

[sidonie1]

Just read your message - poor you! It's tough but it does get better in my experience! My toddler was 20 mths when my twins were born and the twins are 11 mths now. I think 20 mths is a monster stage as much as anything. I found him far easier and more fun after turning two. He was moody and tantrumy for the first few months I found and I actually became quite worried about him. It's hard to know if it's the twins or just toddler life! It will get better though and the twin juggling will become second nature. ????

[madeuplovesong44]

You have my every sympathy, I have 4.5 month old twins and a just turned two year old. My toddler was extremely difficult when the twins first came home but she has got used to it and it's easier to cope with her now. I sometimes fasten her to a booster seat to do playdoh/finger painting while I feed or I bring her toy kitchen to where I am and get her to make 'cups of tea' etc.

We are still very much in the struggling through/doing anything to survive phase as my twins are a lot more demanding now than they were at the begining! However my toddlers behaviour is a lot more settled.

Do you have means to get out for a walk. I have a sling and a double buggy that has been my saviour.

Congratulations and good luck x

[TheEagle]

Thanks madeup and sidonie!

We are still surviving, goodness knows how DS1 is now a Peppa Pig addict

I've gotten out with the double buggy/sling combo a few times which has worked well. DS1 will also wear his little backpack with a strap so we can potter about up and down our road.

The twins still sleep a lot by day! However they're starting to have more periods of wakefulness and DS1 doesn't like them being on the playmat one little bit

I see trouble ahead! But for now we are managing day to day!

So good to know there are others out there with similar age gaps.