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Two year old twins. Oh. My. God.

(40 Posts)
MatildaV Tue 11-Nov-14 19:44:00

My twins have just turned two and I am finding them impossible to deal with. They fight, pull each others hair, want whichever toy the other one has and basically run riot during their waking hours. One of them in particular can't leave anything alone and is constantly trying to pull plugs out of sockets, knock the TV over, climb on the table, etc. Even my slightly calmer one managed to draw all over the dining room table today while my back was turned for a minute.

Those of you who have already been through this stage - what's the best way to deal with it? And when will it be over?!

neversleepagain Tue 11-Nov-14 19:54:58

Not much advice but you have my sympathy. My twins are 26 months and we have some very difficult times with them. Counting down the months until they are 3 move out

Fairywhitebear Tue 11-Nov-14 19:58:07

No advice just sympathy! I don't have twins, but I do have a 2 yr old (literally, days old two) and a 6 month baby. My poor baby is completely neglected whilst I deal with the 2 yr old, so I can almost imagine how bad it would be to have two that age!

whatadrain Tue 11-Nov-14 19:58:26

Mine are nearly three and are 'spirited' to say the least. I met a lady with ten year old twins yesterday who helpfully told me that it gets worse. confused

Fairywhitebear Tue 11-Nov-14 19:59:26

Oh and never, sorry, but my friend with twins said that about 3...and then said 3 was worse! shock!!

BlueGreenHazelGreen Tue 11-Nov-14 20:03:39

Mine are 6 now, and (mostly) delightful.

At one point when they were two I cried every night with exhaustion.

By the time they were 3 it was fine.

As soon as they developed their speech it got better re the fighting.

We found that we had to be really, really strict while they were 2 which meant that we could ease up a bit later. I'd never of believed how well behaved they would be at 6 if you'd asked me back then.

Hang on in there, it's a marathon not a sprint. Worth it in the end though.

MatildaV Tue 11-Nov-14 20:25:23

whatadrain, I laughed at "spirited". My son always gets described as "enthusiastic" and "exuberant" by staff at his nursery. They basically mean he's an uncontrollable little shit at times :-)

Swanhildapirouetting Tue 11-Nov-14 21:05:25

naps (regular slot in afternoon) or at least "quiet time" with no telly after lunch
reduce possibility for destruction (make room into soft play area with nothing precious)
no craft or messy play
lots of outdoor gross motor play, and clothes which you can get dirty outside (take them off once inside and have indoor clothes for jumping on sofa)
reduce toys which are in small bits
more singing
more dancing
microwaved mashed potato, reheated pasta, "basic" food to reduce stress levels before supper
make clearing up easier by having a large crate you throw everything into at end of day
a friend also confessed to having folding chairs which she stacked in the corner to stop them climbing on the table (she had four kids including twins)
SEE PEOPLE - feels much less bad when in the company of others with toddlers.

fallingdownrabbit Tue 11-Nov-14 21:08:50

my boys were fine by 3/4 . they had pretty much destroyed the house, anything of any value and reduced me to a quivering wreck by then.

I think they decided their work here was done and became much essier.

whatadrain Tue 11-Nov-14 21:09:25

Matilda that did make me laugh! DT1 is often described in the same way by his nursery! They had their 2.5 year check today and the HV mentioned that he was very 'loud' and a 'real boy' as he jumped all over her, pulled DT2 over and simultaneously broke her scales as they both laughed like maniacs.

It will get better... Right?

MatildaV Tue 11-Nov-14 21:30:29

Lol, whatadrain, at least I know now that mine aren't the only ones who are like this! When they were younger, I looked at friends with two children close in age and thought that I had it much easier because they were at the same stage. Now that stage is the "terrible twos" I can definitely see the benefit of having a year or two between them.

Thanks for the advice BlueGreen and Swan.

fallingdownrabbit, I've given up on the house, I'm just planning to move once they've finished destroying it grin

BrassicaBabe Wed 12-Nov-14 22:09:08

Omg. My twins are 3.4 and there's no let up yet. They fight like cat and dog. I'm ashamed at how often I shout. And nap time is lost! :-(
Hang in there!!x

Tierradelfuego Wed 12-Nov-14 22:13:14

Mine are 11 years old and I'm just about sane again, well except they are becoming teenagerish which has its own challenges.

No really it does get a lot better but I can't remember when which is really unhelpful blush. I do remember them completely wrecking bedrooms and throwing all of the mattresses, linen, clothes into a massive pile every morning for about 3 weeks when they were around 2/3. I thought I entered some sort of merry hell but they got a lot better as the years ticked by.

Tierradelfuego Wed 12-Nov-14 22:13:54

Oh I didn't deal with it very well at all, just shouted and cried a lot!

Redcoats Wed 12-Nov-14 22:18:24

Mine are 11. I wouldn't say that it's easier, just different.
The constant bickering makes me want to cut my ears off.

heritagewarrior Wed 12-Nov-14 22:23:34

Mine are six in a fortnight. They are better than they were at 2 and 3 (sorry, a bit more to go yet IME) but still quite hard work! Chin up smile

Tierradelfuego Wed 12-Nov-14 22:25:45

Redcoats oh the bickering! I suspect that's the same for all siblings though.

They are also great friends on the plus side.

Bslami Wed 12-Nov-14 22:30:04

I really never thought I'd have to have the tv nailed to the wall (via a bracket - one tv has been a casualty)
All lamps in the house put away
Knives kept on high shelves
To check the washer or drier had not been helpfully turned off ...
Mine are now 3.6 and as pp said, acquiring speech helps. Also you have to have something to hold over them. I felt/feel awful but if I threaten them with no CBeebies then I follow it through. Yours are just becoming old enough to understand.
The only other thing is to move out, as pp said
And no matter how many other things they take out of drawers & put elsewhere, always make sure you know where the corkscrew is unlike yours trul tonight. <weeps>

val4 Wed 12-Nov-14 22:53:43

I can remember when my twin boys were 2-3 we went through some very "exciting" times. Once they covered themselves in cocoa powder and spread it all over floor of kitchen! Another time I heard some laughing coming from downstairs bathroom, and found one son lapping water from the toilet with his hands, while the other son sucked on the toilet brush!!! ... We also had to put lock on American fridge as they used to climb into it ! Fast forward to 8 yrs and they are (mostly) well mannered , happy boys . It does get easier with time but life is never boring! !

idtwinplustoddlermum Fri 14-Nov-14 06:44:11

Oh no you are all filling me with dread! My ID boys are 7 months and just the other day was thinking how its not that long til I get my "I survived the first year with twins" badge. So far the boys have been a dream compared to my madam of a 4 yr old. Now I realise my mistake! X

Swanhildapirouetting Fri 14-Nov-14 10:20:57

But two year olds are soo sweet, looking back. So full of enthusiasm for the world, so affectionate. I really regret every cross word I said to mine sad They just wanted to find out as much as they could, and make sense of being mobile and independent, whilst getting my very divided attention (I also had a 4 year old when they were two) I wish I had concentrated on all the stuff they were learning rather than thinking all the time how they were stopping me do what I wanted to do...ifysim..(keep house tidy, get places on time, have mental space, cook food etc) They didn't understand all that..they had their own developmental agenda.

ireallydontlikemonday Fri 14-Nov-14 12:25:34

I'm afraid mine were (are) much worse since they hit three. The fighting is a daily battle and it feels like I'm a referee most of the time.

The drawing On walls / themselves / the dog has got bettergrin

idtwinplustoddlermum Fri 14-Nov-14 22:58:51

Hi swan, I am the same, always saying " in a minute just got to do xxx". Perhaps i should learn to relax more about the chores and miss less of the baby stage x

SugarPlumpFairy3 Sun 16-Nov-14 19:36:30

Mine are 25 months and I have every sympathy!

We survive by having a pretty tight routine still, putting them down for a nap at 12:30 whether they seem tired or not, having stair gates on rooms we don't want them to have unsupervised access to, cupboard locks, downstairs loo locked from the outside, lots of physical activity in the morning (mine have Regatta puddlesuits for the garden/park so we can still get out when it's wet). We only visit places/houses where we know it'll be 'twin proof' as it gets too stressful otherwise...we have learnt to be kind to ourselves!

Preciousbabies Mon 17-Nov-14 08:37:19

Mine are 2 in December and even though they are well behaved it's still sooo tiring. Mine have been in the same routine since they were about 6 months and it's a pretty strict routine which I never deviate from. I only let them roam in one room which is pretty childproofed and there are always loads of toys around which I spent my time tidying / rotating to restart the play process. I do strictly supervise everything and pens are only allowed if they stay at the table. If they start fighting I normally take offending toy away. I use the TV at difficult times eg before dinner or before nap time or when I'm really struggling with my energy levels. I do baths as a time filler as they love bath time.

Mine nap in the morning and so we always go out in the afternoons (after lunch) to a playgroup or childrens centre nearby as they don't like being in the pram for long periods of time. I don't really go shopping with them anymore as they whine. As previous poster says I stick to what's easy as I don't see the point of making things difficult as i will inevitably end up stressed or shouting at them which I hate. I don't go visiting much as it's far too stressful and things always get out of hand. I stick to places we know. We don't go to outside playgrounds anymore as it's too much hard work and someone always gets knocked over (my smaller twin). And I thought it's meant to get easier.

To reassure I'm a mental health social worker used to dealing with a really difficult case load of 35 or so patients with many behavioural/personality difficulties and I'm finding things really tough. Tbh my baby twins have been a lot more difficult than them. It might actually be easier to go back to work....but wtf....I can't do both x x

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