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Is 18 months too young...

(10 Posts)
thegirlinthesassyspace Thu 20-Mar-14 12:05:46

for a naughty spot?
My girls have started hitting each other and showing signs of jealousy over every little thing. My husband and i are so worried that if we respond in the wrong way and inadvertently reinforce behaviour,rather than stop them from doing it,we have started recording the episodes of suppernanny, the ones when she deals with twins :-)
So far so good, she seems to deal with a lot of twins so there is lots of techniques to learn. But she only seems to deal with 2 year olds and they are extreme cases on supernanny as we know...
What do other people do when there is hitting and other unacceptable behaviour between their twins as young as 18 months? Is 18 months ok for the naughty spot? I would like to try it but if its too early for them to understand then obviously i don't want to.

I know some people use a travel cot for time out, but our house is v small and there is literally no space for this, so we cant use this.

any advice??? Thanks,

wibley2 Thu 20-Mar-14 13:25:58

We used a naughty corner from just after my oldest sons first birthday, he used to bite a lot. I would recommend it. They soon learn that they are only allowed to move when you let them after they have said sorry (we used sign language sorry to begin with as he wasnt talking). And even if they don't understand it to begin with, it keeps everyone calmer, including yourself because you are in control. And eventually he did stop the biting! Good luck

thegirlinthesassyspace Thu 20-Mar-14 14:29:34

Thanks Wibley, that's good to know. !

Nancy54 Thu 20-Mar-14 14:35:50

I personally wouldn't at 18 months. Mine are 18 months too and if this happens, i tell them no and tell them to touch gently and show them how. if the injured party is crying, i give them a lot of attention (a hug, kiss), rather than giving the hitter attention.

Not sure if this is best or if it ll work but that's what i'm doing!

thegirlinthesassyspace Thu 20-Mar-14 16:43:43

ok - thanks Nancy. good to know too! maybe i need to watch more supernanny! There doesn't seem to be a definitive answer on my searches. About to pick mine up from nursery and hoping for lots of cuddles (not too much screaming or hitting one another today please!!). Have a nice weekend all.x

Slebmum Fri 21-Mar-14 13:14:19

We introduced the naughty step at 2 and it's pretty effective but I don't think they would have got it at that age. We did do a kind of time out thing just to separate them, one on one side of the room, one on the other. We unfortunately have a biter and we would just ignore her and pick up the bitten one with lots of attention when she struck.

We've had to develop naughty spots now as when they are both in the wrong they can't both go on a stair at the same timegrin

thegirlinthesassyspace Fri 21-Mar-14 19:28:19

ok cool, I will defo try naughty spot. but maybe not for a few more months yet. Ive been doing the ignorign thing today atfer telling them off if they hit or pushed the other over. When I told one off and then ignored her she went mental. Ive never actually ignored them before as part of the telling off strategy, but I did realise that she stopped crying after not toooo long (it felt lke forever but was probably about 5 mins). Then I noticed once she calmed down she was suddenly back in a great mood again...which was nice!!
We've been stuck indoors all day today because my husband accidentally took the buggy to work in his carboot. So its been good actually to have the whole day to observe and try and see if the consistency of this pays off throughout the day...which I think it did a bit (although I am tired now...!). I guess it will take a while yet to see them taking it in more! and mine are big cryers, so maybe there will always be a bit of drama following a telling off. Who knows...
Anyway, about to pour a big glass of wine,breaaathe!
Thanks for the advice!x

MultipleMama Fri 04-Apr-14 09:33:38

My twins are 18mo and we use the 3 rule.

1. Down to their level and explain as simple as possible that what they did was wrong and why it was and that they should say sorry. Then we hug.

2. If it happens again. Down to their level, more firmly tell them and warn them of consequences (removal of a favourite toy).

3. Down to their level, tell them what's going to happen and why. (We take the toy away for roughly 20 minutes. If they play nice we call them over and praise them for good behaviour and give them the toy back with hugs and kisses). - If in public what we take away depends on what we're doing.

More often than not that's the end of the issue. Only happens occassionally and no more than x3 a day and they learn pretty quickly when mama has her serious face on.

If only ones does it we do it seperately but if they hit each other we do it together and take 2 toys away (their most loved toys).

We always end with positive renforcement and praise smile

thegirlinthesassyspace Fri 04-Apr-14 13:42:33

Like the sound of that multiplemama. I just had to try it as one was throwing gravel and I'd told her to stop which made her excitedly do it again(she is very cheeky) and. Warned her the second time she would not be able to play outside. Third time took her inside. She was very sad/cross but hopefully will reinforce over time as you say.! ) X

MultipleMama Fri 04-Apr-14 14:27:36

I think her being sad/cross is a good sign, means she didn't like what happened and that you were serious with your warning. I hope it works out of you smile

We do the same with our nearly 3yo and our 5yo but they have the same warnings but instead of taking toys away they both lose 10 minutes of story time (their favourite nightly thing) meaning they go to bed earlier.

We're thinking of changing the toy from 20mins to 5mins 'cause by the time 20mins comes around they forget the toy! Haha.

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