Head banging the floor

[thegirlinthesassyspace]

Hello
Has anyone any
Advice on what to do when you have a constant headbanger? Both my girls (15 months) are happy and communicative little people. But one starts head banging the floor and crying when she is frustrated, and angry, or has been told off.They recently stopped having 2 naps and now just have the 1 nap, and it has increased - she does it more frequently and for longer - so we are thinking she is doing it both because she is frustrated and also as she is more tired. We are trying to ignore the behaviour, but at home it is difficult as the floors are either wooden or tile floor. Recently she has been inconsolable and so I have found putting her down in her cot to lie down in the dark, even though she is no longer napping at that time (e.g at 10am) calms her down. She mostly doesn't even go to sleep, she just lies there singing, happy once more. So this seems to do the trick and give her a rest. She is really active and go go go compared to her sister, so it's always her that we have to try and watch out for in terms of getting overstimulated very quickly.
I just wondering what else I can do, I'm not sure putting her down for a pseudo nap is the right thing, although it does seem to work for her.....? Does this kind of behaviour pass? Also distraction and cuddles or rocking doesn't work for her, as it can just tip her more over the edge by giving her more stimulus, or making her confined by cuddles.
Any advice? Xxx

[neversleepagain]

I could have written this post myself :)

My girls are 17 months and DT2 does the exact same thing and has done from around 14 months (oddly also when they dropped their morning nap but I never made that connection). I try to give them time to relax and chill out around 10am (we watch Show Me Show Me) which is on for 20 minutes and I sit on the floor with them and we watch together. They love the singing and taking part in the actions. We have an early lunch (11:15am and nap time is at 12), they wouldn't last much longer than this.

I see no harm in some quiet time in her cot at 10am if this soothes and refreshes her. When DT2 bangs her head in frustration I try to ignore her but it is hard as I can see she is hurting herself. I give DT1 more attention and make a loud fuss of what she is doing and this sometimes stops DT2 as she wants to see what her sister is doing.

I can't offer anymore advice as we are in the same boat :)
There is something difficult at every stage, isn't there

[thegirlinthesassyspace]

Hi never sleep, I actually wrote you a really long reply ages ago but it was on my phone and it didn't go through. anyway thank you for your message its really nice to know I'm not alone. But I hope your DT2 has stopped the head banging! Mine stopped! after about 2 weeks of ignoring. And after we reintroduced morning nap, though it means a shorter afternoon nap, she seems able to cope better....I'm going to try and drop it again soon. Funnily, they only have 1 nap at nursery but ofcourse they don't get so grumpy there as there is so much to do and the staff are so good there too, and seem to know actually how to handle every situation wheras I am soo clueless (I have started recorded supernanny episodes on twins as I feel I have so much to learn!). Like you say quiet time helps, and Nursery has said they too had put them in a quiet corner of the room a few times when they were getting overstimulated, to calm them down.

At the moment anyway we have a new behaviour to contend with, serious jealousy, so trying to get to grips with that. My other twin DT2 has started havig Massive tantrums at the smallest things. e.g. if her DT1 comes too nearby while she is reading a book she just loses it completely at the thought that the book may get taken away. When we have our afternoon snack we usually sti on the floor with a bowl of homemade popcorn or raisins between us. DT2 has started taking the bowl away and keeping it to herself so she doesn't have to share, then ofcourse when I take it back and say its for everyone she goes crazy and throws herself of the floor fo about 20 mins. So now we all have a bowl each!
If feel so sad for them sometimes as neither of them can stand being cuddled at the same time as their sister, dual cuddling on each knee causes such meltdowns. And as an adult with fully grown brain I can see that a big group hug is just lovely, but all they see is someone else taking a portion of mummy away and they don't want to share mummy.sigh!

So back to supernanny I think!! I hope you are all doing well. Thanks for Show me Show Me tip, its now a top fave here too!

[neversleepagain]

Glad the head banging has stopped. It has got better here but she will still bang her head if she is very angry, but thankfully it is not nearly as often as before.

Jealousy is not too bad here, if one of them is having a cuddle with me the other makes a bee line for me and wants to join in. It is very sweet and then we group hug :) They are not fond of DH hugging me, they will often try to push him away and climb on me if he hugs me for too long.

Now that they are both walking I am finding it much easier, they are quite independent girls and like to do things for themselves, which is fine by me :)

Hope you and your girlies are well.

[thegirlinthesassyspace]

Thanks neversleep, your poor dh ((
Sounds great u can enjoy their new found independence, especially while it is warm as you can let them roam a bit and get fesh air and freedom. Only one of ours is walking. The other can walk (we've seen in action a few times) but she prefers not to lose the 'hotspot' aka mummy's lap and stays put. I know when does discover walking though she will love it, just as she eventually discovered crawling. Have you been using reins or anything, or are you managing without? And do your tws enjoy things like soft play more now? Take care xx

[Welchy01]

Hi

I know your post was a while ago bit I wanted to let you know my ds is now 3 and used to be a headbanger! Every time he got told no, told off or just because he was tired/frustrated, I can't remember the last time he did it so they definitely grow out of it. I know it's frustrating and worrying, I even took him to the docs and they thought I was mad! I think it was around 2 years he must have stopped so just hang in there, if they haven't stopped already they will xx