Surprise twins at 12w scan (have 2.5yo DD) - in shock and so many qus!!(44 Posts)
(So cross - just wrote all this out and stupid iPhone deleted it!!)
I guess it's time to post here....
Had 12 week scan on Tues afternoon and totally, completely out of the blue, it's twins! No twins in the family, no fertility treatment - a total shock! They have separate sacks and placentas and so far look well - they are both 3 days ahead of dates (I know when we conceived). The whole pregnancy was a (very lovely) unplanned surprise - we would have waited for fjnanci reasons, mainly because I am the breadwinner (DH is pretty much a stay at home dad? And I have not been in my new job long enough to qualify for enhanced mat pay, only statutory..... Eeek.
I am excited, of course, but a bit of a mixed bag of emotions.... I worry as I assume that there are many more things that can go wrong with twins. Thd main thing though is that I totally know what I'm doing with one. I have, frankly, nailed breastfeeding (see below, did if for embarrassingly long!) and found the early months really not that hard (with one...). But now, I am going totally into the unknown, which I just wasnt expecting, and I don't know what to do or if I can do it!!!
I just have so many questions... Any thoughts welcome:
1. Can I and will I be allowed to ebf twins? I exclusively bf DD until we did baby led weaning at 6 months, then carried on bf until just after she turned 2 . I'm not militant with others, not remotely, but I LOVED bf and it is really important to me. Can I do it? Physically, how can it work? I will also have DD, so can't spend hours in bed in funny positions or doing skin to skin! I was counting on having a hand free!
And what if they're prem? Will I be allowed to pump and not allow a bottle? Can't even imagine how I'd do that with DD to look after too....
2. How often do people make it to 37/38 weeks and will I be allowed to have a vag
Just to add, I was put under a lot of pressure to have a cs, but was very determined. I also took dm as birthing partner rather than dp, and she was fantastic at fending off scared junior doctors and insisting on the consultant having a look before diving in.
I later discovered I was the first non cs multiple birth at this large regional hospital for over six months! Apparently I had a huge audience, I'd said I was ok to be used as a teaching case.
And the next three local women to have twins all had vb as well <still proud of herself >.
We tended to find each other, if only because at that time there was only one double shopping trolley with newborn seats in the only supermarket in town. We used to ring round to check no-one else was planning to use it in the next hour or two. It became an informal support network.
Oh, I read your post with a smile, as the same thing happened to me!
I had a 2yo dd when I got the surprising news that I was expecting identical twins. It was a shock, but at least i knew what to do with a baby as you will now.
We had a nipper double buggy which was a godsend after the double Mac I had With a buggy board. My dd just had to walk when we went out, or perch on the foots board if she got tired. My consultant was massively pro natural delivery and I was induced at 38 weeks as they shared a placenta and so were technically higher risk. They did insist on an epidural though in case I got into difficulty. Baby one was born after a seven hour labour with a bit of help and baby two was born as a bottom first breech with a lot of help from the wonderful doctor. Eleven minutes apart. I breast fed for about four months and then went onto bottles as it was the right thing for us at the time. In hindsight I would have bf for longer but you have to do what's best for you at the time. I do remember that we did not bother much with fancy outfits, a coloured sleep suit and cardi worked for months, otherwise you waste so much time on washing. The hardest thing is finding enough time for your older daughter. I was luck enough to get a student from the college doing child care to support me for about six months. She was a wonderful girl and helped me a lot. When I was pregnant with the boys I met an older woman on holiday. When she discovered I was having twins She told me about her 30 year old twin sons. She said her top piece of advice was just enjoy them and never worry about the dirt in the corners, just got to let things go a bit! Good luck, enjoy every moment, it's so special having twins and you will have the chance to show them off to everyone and feel so proud. Xxx
I'm still ebf my year old twin boys. I fed my Dd till she was 21 months.
I had a vaginal delivery with no epidural.
Anything is possible, twins or no, just do what feels right to you and don't let anyone push you around.
Apart from that - congratulations!
Congratulations! I remember the shock of finding out it was twins only too well! Mine are only 4 weeks old so I'm still pretty new to the whole twins thing myself. I was planning to have a c section, as twin 2 was breech, but went into labour at 35 weeks and ended up having a vb as she had turned head down. It does depend on the position of the babies though, as if twin 1 is breech or transverse they would most likely insist on cs.
I'm mixed feeding mine but there are plenty who have ebf their twins - I have a v shaped pillow but haven't attempted tandem feeding yet, as im still having a few issues with latching one of them on. I think it would be useful to get one if you want to tandem feed.
Not sure re the pram - I have an icandy peach blossom which i don't think would be compatible with a buggy board.
Congratulations! I've twins and one 3 yrs older. Didn't manage to bf any of them so can't advice there. As regards to buggy, I got a 360 nipper and there is space at the front for a toddler to perch on. Also, at first used to put the smaller twin in a sling and the toddler and bigger twin in the buggy. Neither options are easy to steer but ith twins you get very resourceful! Twins are hard work but soooo worth it Good luck x
I have 6 month old twins, and may be expecting my 2nd set. My dts are still exclusively breastfed - only just starting to use bottles but at the minute they hate it.
It is 100% doable providing you have enough milk. You can either tandem feed or one at time, and I suggest investing in a pillow, if you haven't already, to help. My dts tandem feed most of the time, they see the other doing it and they want to. Still feeding like newborns too!
As for preemie, not sure. I went into labor 37+2, a preterm for single PG but a multiple it's not considered that premature as you're expecting 2 so obviously your full term week is now 38 not 40.
Hope all is going well Legallyblond. One good thing about newborns I had forgotten before the twins is at first they do sleep quite a bit. It soon changes of course, but I think that helps soften the blow for the older child. You think they are suddenly going to lose all your attention, but actually while the babies are napping you can do quite a bit with the older one. Now mine are down to one nap a day, and they are running around getting up to mischief, it is actually much harder to concentrate on DD1. But of course she is older now, and she is more used to it.
You might want to ask your midwife if you will be going to a hospital twin clinic. I only found out about twin clinic in my area through a friend, my useless midwife didn't seem to have a clue about twins. It was twin clinic that answered my questions.
Cheerio for now.
I cannot help with the majority of your questions but I couldn't read and run without saying congratulations and that I once stayed with an amazing Australian woman who had her twin girls by vaginal delivery (3rd pregnancy) on gas and air at home.. Not saying that this is something to aim for of course, but she knew that her body could do it, that she could breast feed and just felt that she could get on with it. She carried the girls to 39 weeks, they were 6lbs each and she EBF'd them both
Positive mental attitude she said and by god she needed it with 4 kids under 5 in the middle of bloody nowhere lol!
How exciting for you, congrats again
Thanks so much for all the advice and encouragment! All well here - feeling less sick, although now struck with a horrid cold! Is it normal to still not quite believe its twins?! My next NHS scan is at 20 weeks (then they're every month), which seems a long worrying wait! If they both made it healthily to 12 weeks, I can't figure out what the risks are of one of both not making it to 20 weeks....
Despite the (normal, I hope!) fears that I won't actually be bringing 2 babies home, I have started thinking strategies, based on life now with DD and what worked when she was a baby. I'm thinking:
- bf (the though of waking up, going downstairs, getting bottles etc fills me with fear!!);
- both babies in a cot next to our bed, possibly open sided (a home made co sleeper!);
- two bouncer chairs with handles, or 4 baby Bjorn balance chairs - 2 upstairs, 2 down!!;
- my old moby wrap with both in there when little (apparently its possible)
DD will be at pre school 3 or 4 mornings, which might help (apart from the walk there in the morning!).
As for the vag birth or c section, I think I'm just going to do whatever's safest. I am happy to have a c section! Although what's the recovery time like? I had an episiotomy with DD, and that took a good 6 weeks until I couldn't feel it...
Anyway, just crossing everything they're both ok in there and that I make it to as close to 38 weeks as possible.
I bought the books recommended above.... It all seems like such a journey into the (scary!) unknown!!
There's been a bit of recent research that's shown that twins are at no more risk from vaginal or c-section delivery. Of course depends on your/babies health but I actually had an OB who was happy for me to have a double breech delivery...
In terms of buggy - I've got the mountain buggy duet and you can buy this thing called the free rider which clips on the back as a buggy board and can also be converted into a scooter. My older dd loves it. Unfortunately it's not rear facing but it handles like a dream and is very very slim. Two things high on my list.
Glad you're doing well. Long may it continue!
Sorry, I'm not saying vaginal birth is the be all and end all its just there's a lot of scare mongering around twin births so it's good to do your research iyswim.
I bf till they were both over 2, not one bottle crossed their lips. I had a 2 1/4 yr old at the time too.
I gave birth at 39+6, naturally, but that was before the NICE guidelines were made so I didn't get any pressure at all to be induced earlier. I wouldn't have listened to that particular pressure anyway.
You are in a stronger position having birthed before ok.
Not sure about the pram. We just tried to get our 2 yr old used to scooting for when the twins arrived, and got an icandy. When she got tired she did occasionally sit underneath in the baggage rack - although I am not sure I would recommend this whole plan.
Thanks again all.
temporary, great to hear that about bf. I am feeling confident. DD never had a bottle and we had no weight issues and I had surplus milk (I tried pumping it but she refused bottles of ebf totally, so I had a freezer full of unused gold!).
I am fairly relaxed about the v birth / c section thing, so will just do whatever is best... Labour with DD was induced, but only with the cervix softening thing, and she came out relatively trouble free in 8 hours... So I am confident my body could do it if that were the safest thing. My biggest concern with c section is the fact that the mucus isn't squeezed out of their lungs.. I'm keeping an open mind for now.
I would hope that I have a good chance of getting to 38 weeks ... I'm 5'11" so there's more space than for some others, and DD was in until 42 weeks with no high blood pressure or other issues.... I feel that the later they arrive, the better bf will be...
Still feeling v unsure about how likely or nit it is that they'll both make it.... I am next seeing the midwife at 16 weeks (just under 2 weeks away) and then consultant at 20 weeks. Is that normal? I've seen no one since discovering its twins...
Congrats, I was same position as you, 2.5 year old and twins at 12 week scan! Totally scary. Twins are now 18 months and we are still sane!
I breastfed for 11 months, together for first few weeks then one after the other. I had the i candy pear double buggy to start with which takes car seats or carry cots forwards or backwards plus a buggy board. It's expensive but I found it second hand. When I tried the buggy board on the double MacLaine it couldn't handle the weight.
My older one started pre school three weeks before the twins arrived and was fine, and it was amazing for me to have three hours a day just with the twins. I had a doula for first four weeks to help as have n family but after that I think the experience from having one already really helped.
Good luck, and you will be fine.
Thanks so much for this kchivs! If, which I really hope I get to 38 weeks, DD will have been at preschool for 2 weeks....
Congratulations! I've been there! My son had just turned 2 when I found out I was having twins at 12 week scan. I bf ds1 for 8 months. But twins were born at 34 weeks and were very little. I expressed while they were in special care and when they reached 36 weeks put them to the breast. They did ok but could only feed for about 2 mins without tiring and falling asleep. So they never got full and would wake up hungry after 10 mins. Imagine a whole night of that followed by another day. Grim! I gave up and bottle fed a mixture if ebm and formula for 2 months but milk supply dwindled so I gave up completely. You should be aware that bf twins is technically possible but only about 2% of twin mums do. So don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work out. You are also statistically quite likely to give birth early so prepare yourself mentally. Not now! You need to Get over the shock first but find out a bit about what to expect. Eg 34 weeks is pretty good. They are usually fine and need a bit of extra help with feeding and Maintaining temp. I was dreading them being born early and taken away from me all through pregnancy but it was actually ok. Hospital staff were lovely and the experience was quite special.
I also wanted a vaginal birth. I had a home birth with ds1. But I ended up having an emergency c section cos i went into labour at 34 weeks and they couldn't find a heartbeat for twin 2 on monitors. They needed help with breathing when they were born. I'm very happy about the c section. It was the right thing at the time and recovery time was similar to vaginal birth. I had been deaf against it but it was fine.
Super quick post. I have, and love, the Baby Jogger City Select, w the Lascal Maxi buggy board. Perfect for my twins and older sibling. Congratulations!
Just saying, if things don't turn out how you imagine it's not the end if the world. A good birth is one where you and babies are ok. Breast feeding is good but it's not the be all and end all. Hold on to your ideals of course, but be pragmatic too!
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