Whats the best help i can offer my sister in law with twins?

[MammyShirl]

My sister in law is due twin boys very shortly and i just wondered if any of you mummies can advise me on the best way to help her when they arrive so i can also tell everyone around her.
i was thinking of frozen meals
drying clothes (she has no dryer)
i dont want to smother her but im sure she will need help. i find one baby such a handful, i cant imagine what it will be like for her with two!
i dont want her to get the baby blues, its been a real ride for her, she has been in out of hospital with various probelms in the last couple of years, then went through ivf so there will be a come down after all this build up and the shock of the babies, she is quite a proud person too...
any advice please?

[Oakmaiden]

Definately both of those things.

[helenmc]

Looking after one baby so she can go shopping (trips take soooo much longer as every-one stops to talk to you and ask 'are they identical', 'double the trouble', the ironing, cleaning bath rooms, changing sheets on beds, anything it always a help....

[popsycal]

take the littles ones out for a walk and force her to have a long bubble baths
introduce her to mumsnet!
get a take away delivered to her house ?

[MammyShirl]

thanks! i cant wait. my dd is almost 10 months now - i just love babies, cant wait to meet my two nephews!!!!!!

she is almost 29 weeks, fingers crossed they will stay in place for a while yet
!
keep you updated

[Tortington]

gosh i have twins and cant think of a thing that hasnt been said - which doesnt cost money.

we recently has twins in the family and we bought brand own baby products from the supermarket - like talc and soap and shampoo and sponge and cream and lotion and oil and bottles and teets and wipes and bibs all those things times two. we then put them all in two large shoe boxes covered with wrapping paper. but you could get a basket or something. this is a nice welcoming gift but trez practical too - everyone buys clothes, and she may accept a gift like this if she is a proud person. and you can start buying them a couple of things a week - wouldnt cost you more than a couple of quid.

[Lorien]

I've two friends with twins and I think the main thing you can do is just offer TIME. Like looking after the twins for an hour or so, so SIL can get a moment of peace .... She is lucky to have such a considerate SIL in you!

[bobthebaby]

I have 3 friends with twins, but I have only been around 1 friend at the newborn stage. A pair of arms seems to be the most important thing until she gets used to doing everything whilst holding two. I would hold one baby while she fed the other and then take the fed baby and change his nappy whilst she fed the second and then do that nappy while she gave the first baby another cuddle. By then it was pretty much time to start over again!

[throckenholt]

I have twins (1 today !). Most important things - look after them for an hour or two so that mum can sleep ! Anything she wants you to do. The problem is when you really need people is about 5am when you are exhausted and no-one else it around.

Honestly - there is no right answer - just let her know that you are willing to help in any way you can, and you won't be offended if that sometimes means just giving her space !

[jac34]

I used to find bath time quite stressful, because one would scream while I was busy with the other.
I think it's just the thing, of being put staight down in the cot when they wanted a cuddle.
Just someone to cuddle one while I was busy with the other would have been a help, so that I did not have to listen to the noise.
Also, just some company, as it's not all that easy to get out at first until they go longer between feeds and it does get a bit lonely.
I used to spend about 9-10 hours a day alone with them and never saw a soal, just waiting for DH to come home from work, in they early days.

[pop]

I found that if people said just let me know if ther is anything I can do it was really hard to take them up on it whereas if people were specific and said why don't I do this or that it was much easier to accept help. I found feeding times took ages and it was really hard to keep both happy for the whole time so that extra pair of arms thing is sooo true!

[Paula71]

Gosh I am incredibly jealous that I don't have such a supportive SIL!

I would echo what everyone has said so far. Laundry and washing up were the bane of my life so if you did that and let her get used to have two at once it would help greatly. That is what would have helped me! The gift boxes are a fantastic idea too.

We had naturally conceived twin boys (a bit of a shocker as I thought after an ectopic there was a snowballs chance in hell of me even having one let alone being blessed with twins!) I can imagine, knowing what it is like to think you can't have children, IVF babies must be a real emotional rollercoaster. Knowing that she has such support must be a wonderful feeling. Oh, and give her "babysitting" vouchers to call up on you when she needs a break or her and hubby wish to go to the cinema or something.

[MammyShirl]

hello everyone
thanks for your advice. my sil is 31 weeks now and i am sooooooooooooo excited, cant beleive i'll be meeting my new nephews very soon but hopefully not too soon!!!
i just know its going toget me all broody again. i've pulled aout all my dd clothes (not the pink) and gave them to her. they seem quite big, how much of small baby clothes should she buy. looking atthe other thread they may weigh about 5 - 6 pounds so should she buy maybe 5 babygor's for each up to 7 pounds? do they putthe weight on fast - few weeks?

[MammyShirl]

sorry at work - quick typing, excuse errors ;0

[Paula71]

They put on weight very fast, or mine did at least! I had to get DH to go out and buy clothes as the newborn size swamped them at 5lb/5lb4oz, very frustrating while stuck in hospital, luckily it was my mum to the rescue.

Don't go overboard in buying small sizes but it would be wise to have a few things just in case. I do wish someone had told me that! Small nappies too!!!