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Sending b/g twins to different primary schools

(17 Posts)
mammmamia Tue 01-Jan-13 23:30:24

Just wondering if anyone has experience of sending their twins to separate schools from the start, or could offer any advice.

I have b/g twins and we are considering independent schools from next September, when they will be 3.5. There are no co-ed prep schools near us, so they would have to go to single sex schools, but the idea of separating them worries me.

At the moment, they are close and enjoy playing together, but are very different characters and with separate interests. They currently go to nursery 3 days a week when I'm at work and have completely separate friends, my DS only has male friends and my DD female friends. However, they do play together at nursery, will seek each other out for comfort and are protective of each other. They are never really apart so I have no idea how they will cope away from each other at such a young age.

On the flip side my DD is quite dominant and could potentially overshadow her brother at school as they get older, but I don't feel this is enough of a reason to separate them.

The local primary is also an option obviously but very oversubscribed hence considering independent.

Any thoughts / advice gratefully received?

fuckadoodlepoopoo Tue 01-Jan-13 23:44:26

I can't see any positives to choosing to separate them (as apposed to if you have no choice) or to young children going to single sex schools. But i generally find single sex schools a weird idea.

Are you close in distance to your local school to be in with a good chance of getting them in do you think?

nancy75 Tue 01-Jan-13 23:48:05

I don't have experience with twins, but logistically wouldn't it be an absolute nightmare? How would you manage drop off & pickup at 2 schools?

Fanjango Tue 01-Jan-13 23:51:51

I have b/g twins. I would have hated for them to have been seperated at school, our primary has a single class intake so they are in the same class. I felt that although they were, and still, are very seperate individuals with their own sets of friends they have always shared a closeness that only very close in age sibs can.
On another point would it not be difficult to get them both to school on time?
Are the state schools that bad?

TeaDr1nker Tue 01-Jan-13 23:53:07

My friend has b/g twins. They went to the same Nursary but in September they started different single sex pre-schools.

She finds this is working really well as her girl is rather dominant and her boy quite shy.

Her children have settled well after a rocky first couple of weeks and she says they get on better than ever. Because they have time apart they are appreciating the time they have together.

Hope that helps

mammmamia Tue 01-Jan-13 23:54:04

Thanks for your thoughts.

Local primary only has about 25 places and we are not ideally placed distance wise, but I need to look into it a bit more before discounting it completely.

My preference would definitely be co-ed at this age it just seems to be a bit of a weird area for schools.

Re drop off etc, ironically the two single sex schools are closer than the primary, one is almost opposite our house so not too much of an issue, but yes, will still be a real pain doing drop offs.

mammmamia Tue 01-Jan-13 23:56:50

x post. Thanks, really good to hear others' experiences. Keep them coming!

sandyballs Wed 02-Jan-13 00:00:20

I have twin girls, non ID and they struggled being in separate classes let alone separate schools.

HappyNewBleurgh Wed 02-Jan-13 00:02:44

I have b/g twins. I think different schools could make life very complicated for you in the long run with things clashing and pulling you in different directions.

Mine have always been close but very happy to do their own thing at school with their own friends. We had them in different classes from the beginning and it's given them their own arena to be themselves but still have a shared experience by being at the same school. It's never been a problem.

Startail Wed 02-Jan-13 00:32:03

School is the common language that, despite a 3 year age gap and very different characters, my DDs share.

Especially traveling in the car, I hear shared experiences, jokes, they discuss problems and rewrite the school rules. If I'm very lucky they sing me a song.

I learn far more listening to them chat than they ever tell me.

Practically, concerts, sports days and parents evenings are sure to clash. Your certain to send a cheque for the panto to the school who are going ice skating and visa versa.

Startail Wed 02-Jan-13 00:42:23

You're grrr

mammmamia Wed 02-Jan-13 09:14:53

Thanks everyone - good to hear people's views. Bumping for morning traffic.

fryingpanalley Wed 02-Jan-13 09:38:55

My friend has twins at different schools and it works only because she has an au pair. Otherwise she would need to be cloned. Don't forget drop off can take quite a few minutes especially if you are settling a new child.

ThreeBeeOneGee Wed 02-Jan-13 09:47:30

My b/g twins were separated (at our request) into different classes from Reception onwards. I have no regrets at all, it's been very beneficial developmentally for both of them. They are now in Y4 and were recently (briefly) in the same Maths set; DS hated it, said it was just 'too weird'. grin

They get on very well at home. They will be going to different secondary schools as DS1 is at an excellent boys' school that we love, and DS2 and DS3 (the twin) will qualify for sibling places.

ThreeBeeOneGee Wed 02-Jan-13 09:51:40

All of ours went to an infant school and then a separate junior school a mile away, so multiple drop-offs, pick-ups, parents' evenings, school plays etc are the norm here. Although a couple of years ago we had three different sports days on the same day, which felt a bit much. grin

Mandy21 Wed 02-Jan-13 13:41:10

I have b/g twins and I wouldn't have sent them to separate schools at 3.5yrs if I had the choice to keep them together. If you don't have a choice, then I think thats different.

I also think with b/g twins, even if they are in the same class, when they're younger, the boys tend to stick with the boys and the girls tend to stick with the girls. Even though one of my twins was slightly more confident than the other, I didn't think it would be detrimental to have them together. They are now Year 3 and I couldn't imagine them at separate schools.

Its not just drop offs / collections that would be tricky - its about the day to day practical things too - doing different homework / progressing at different levels / whether both schools have after school or holiday clubs should you ever need them / do both have the same curriculum (eg do both do swimming lessons or will you end up needing lessons for just one twin etc). All of those things are surmountable, and lots of people have children at say senior school and primary school, or primary school and nursery, so 2 drop offs etc, but it does seem very young at 3.5yrs to be separating them. My twins will probably go to single sex senior schools (again, just because of where we live) but I feel they'll be much more able to cope and perhaps enjoy being separated at 11.

Startail Wed 02-Jan-13 16:40:00

Primary and secondary's not too bad although they did manage parents evening on the same day!

Secondary has a bus (and a slightly longer day so I can do both if needed.)

Primary has small classes and split years so non twin siblings can end up together. DD1 and DD2 haven't because they are too far apart.

General view is it's OK for those very close in age, but was less good when they mixed Y6 and Y4

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