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Reassurance and positive stories please!

(7 Posts)
Blending Wed 31-Oct-12 12:16:51

We found out yesterday that we are having twins and DH is not taking it well. It was IVF, and we knew the possibility, but as we've had a couple of cycles previously, we thought the chance remote, especially as the embryos were poor quality, and it was a frozen embryo cycle. I'm 7 weeks, as you have an early scan with the treatment.

We have a dd 23 mo, and she was was IVF too.

Personally I am over the moon!

But all DH can can see are the risks, the expense, and the potential difficulties.

Just so I don't drip feed info, I had a Pulmonary Embolism, Pneumonia and was left with mild Cardio-Myopathy last time after a difficult birth/ emcs . I also had mild Pre Eclampsia.

I ended up in hospital for weeks after dd was born. So I do understand he's worried about my health.

I need to be able to counter with the nice things about twins, about the real bonus of having them in our lives.


beyoglu Wed 31-Oct-12 13:54:59

Hi! I've got 6m non-ID girls, also by IVF. Actually, I asked for 2 to be transferred deliberately to try and get twins - I have a chromosomal abnormality that means 2/3 of my eggs are faulty so when we got two "excellent quality" genetically OK embryos it seemed mean not to give them both a chance... of course now they're saying that embryos probably have a better chance in a frozen cycle, but they didn't know that when I was doing it... typical...

Twin pregnancies are more risky it's true, but the vast majority are absolutely fine. It doesn't sound as though the PE etc were caused by the pregnancy, more by what happened at the birth? OK so you can just go for a planned C-section for the twins as it's likely to end up c-section anyway.

What can I say about the advantages? I love it when they smile at each other. That's cool. But (this sounds daft) I love it when they just look at each other. There she is, a friend and rival, someone who'll be there on the first day at school, on rainy Sunday afternoons when all their friends are away on holiday... I don't have brothers or sisters and I just love the idea that my girls have a ready made friend and sparring partner, always there right from the start.

Oh the other thing. You'll get gushed at endlessly - try and take them through the shopping centre on a weekday afternoon and you need to plan in about an hour of people stopping you to ask how old they are and telling you you're supermum! Which, actually, no - after the first few weeks of chaos you can get them feeding and going to bed together and after the 4 month mark you can make them nap together too (before that they start the day on the same schedule and drift apart as the day goes on!)

Oops they're waking up, got to go! Congratulations!

Blending Wed 31-Oct-12 19:40:12

Thanks for that! I think he might come around eventually, just in shock still.

vampirestakeknickers Wed 31-Oct-12 19:50:52


ddtwins are now 13. It's been the most fun I've ever had.

DP did freak out a bit when we first discovered there were two on the way, but he got a grip on it in the end and (I suspect) rather enjoyed the envy of other dads whose sperm had produced a mere singletongrin, daft of course, it was me that had two eggs that month.

Mandy21 Thu 01-Nov-12 18:46:22

I have b/g twins that are now 7, and I have a twin sister too (also non-id). Agree with the 'constantly stopped at the supermarket' post which was a life saver some days when you're tired and fed up and then 5 people stop you and tell you how blessed you are. The very first time I held them both together, my DD put her hand on DS's head almost as if she was stroking him. Its just inccredible to watch the bond - the first time you hear them giggling together but you're not in on the joke, its wonderful.

My twin (40 years on) is my best friend, knows me inside out, I have loved having her there throughout my life. We've had so much fun with the twin thing wink.

You'll have your hands full with a 3 yr old too but she'll no doubt thrive on the big sister role. Three will obviously be more expensive than 2 (we've had a 3rd) and its full on, but worth it.

From a pregnancy / health point of view you'll get special care as a twin pregnancy which should allay some of your H's fears. Most twin pregnancies are fine!

Blending Fri 02-Nov-12 13:34:22

Thank you for all your thoughts.

Dh is coming's me that's gone into shock now!

The low level contant nausea, is unlike anything I had in my first pregnancy, and I am still swollen from all the medication from Ivf, so starting to panic about how I am going to cope when the shit really hits the fan and I get huge and less mobile with a toddler in tow.

LongStory Tue 06-Nov-12 23:35:43

Hello and congratulations. I have five including a twinshock for 'surprise' baby no 4. I found the hardest parts were (a) getting my head around it all and (b) the late stage of pregnancy. After that the twins were a doddle. You already know the baby stuff and you have a hmmmmm helper! Yes it will be very difficult but now that mine are nearly four I am loving it.

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