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The under/over/around 1 Twins thread for support, tips on how to survive and enjoy twin parenthood!

(823 Posts)
DreamingOfPeace Sat 11-Aug-12 18:58:12

BB3: dcda non id girls Sept 2011 (plus ds)
TwelveLeggedWalk: DCDA DD and DS 14.09.11 (PFBs)
Tiggersreturn twin boys (?!) (plus ds age 5)
Wherearemyearplugs twins (plus ds)
Ceeveebee b/g twins 21.11.11, PFBs
minesapintofwine: non-id boys 02/02/2012. dcs 1&2/pfb on good days.
ClaireMarathonFeeder: Boy/girl twins born 08/02/2012, no3&4, dd1 (2001) and dd2 (2004)
rednellie nonID boys 13.03.2012 + DD 03.02.10
Lemele: id boys (plus ds)
Skitoo : DCDA Non ID Boys, 01.04.12 DC 1&2
DreamingofPeace: dcda non id boys, 4.4.12 DC 2&3 (DD Sept 2010)
beyoglu: dcda non id girls 21.4.12
Bigboobsatlast ID twin boys 30.04.12 DC #2&3 (DD Feb 2010)
Scollister mcda girls 3.5.12 plus DD age 4
Twin2makes4 mcda girls plus 2 ds,age 8 & 4

Again, sorry for mistakes, doing this from my phone!

Settle in ladies smile

skitoo Fri 17-Aug-12 21:45:31

I am officially rubbish at keeping up with this thread - sorry.

Red, good luck with flight home! Just remember there's help when you get home grin.

Mine nap in cots during day and sleep really well there, just rubbish everywhere else - cant win them all eh! They've never been confused with day/night routines, as not in sleepbags and room isn't completely dark. And completely agree with Red in that it's helped them sleep better at night.

Mines, don't think you'll be shot for working on a routine for 2 babies! I've only just worked out that DT2 is happy and pretty good at self settling but he likes to have a little bit of a shout/winge for 4-5 mins to get him there.

Nice to hear all the eating out scenarios, can't say we've done it yet, something else I must brave up to do.

Baileys sounds like you are all doing fantastic. I remember spending hours in the pumping rooms in SCBU but sounds like the little ones will get there real soon.

Waves to everyone else.

Kazar99 Fri 17-Aug-12 22:48:14

Hello everyone

Just marking my place following the unexpected appearance of Douglas (5lb 2oz) and Carolyn (4lb 7oz) by EMCS on 10 August at 34+4.

That's me just home. Babies are still in SCBU but both now in cribs; Carolyn is still being tube fed and progressing to 3hourly feeds, and Douglas is on to bottles every 3hours now smile Like baileys I feel a bit like a milking machine and supply is still playing catch up following my traumatic CS!

I'll no doubt be back for advice soon, and to catch up with everyone else smile

minesapintofwine Fri 17-Aug-12 22:58:56

kazar welcome and congratulations!

TwelveLeggedWalk Sat 18-Aug-12 10:23:44

Congratulations Kazar, great names too!

Mines seriously, don't sweat it. Formula gets made in 24 batches here and has done for some time. Babies get put down to nap and if they're grizzling, then I go and do something else for a few minutes and they tend to settle quite quickly.

Interestingly how I respond to them seems to make very little difference to how they respond to me IYSWIM. DD has always been more into cuddles and being held, regardless of whether she's happy or sad. DS went through a phase of being very content in his bouncer unless he was actually suffering with reflux, then a really high-needs phase of hating being put down anywhere, then most recently he's been happy on his own as long as he can explore crawling and cruising - hates being put in a cot on his own - and just in the past week or so has got more back into cuddles and crawls over for affection. It seems to be just their natures and their own phases, regardless. So basically if I have to put one of them down for 15 minutes to feed the other then so be it, it's not intentional CC, but it has the same effect!

Lemele Sat 18-Aug-12 13:23:45

Welcome kazar! grin

red - thinking of you on your trip...

mines - I personally hate CC with babies but they are your babies, you are the parent, so you do what you need to do to survive want! smile

beyoglu Sun 19-Aug-12 09:03:04

mines, fair dos if it gets the wee ones off to sleep I guess the CC is better in the long run... maybe they don't like it but they sure don't like being tired and cranky at the end of the day either.

I'm still working on naps. Tried putting them down in carricots in darkened living room with detuned radio as white noise. They napped as usual for about 45 mins then woke and I ran in and settled them with dummies from time to time till they'd been in there for an hour and a half. They still get their best sleeps in the pram though which is making me want to keep the carricots a while longer - our HV was saying it wouldn't do any harm to have the girls in their buggy seats now to help them with their sitting up - but actually that's shite, as they're both holding their heads up now when on their tummies - but I do want to ditch the carricots as DT2 is getting a bit bored in there I think. But, another but, I saw someone out yesterday with a mountain buggy with twins sleeping in the buggy seats! (Had to go over and say hello and try to get her to join our Facebook twins club - can't believe Croydon doesn't already have a proper twins club!) So maybe it is time. Other projects include bathing in the actual bathroom (did DT1 in there yesterday, DT2 today) and weaning off the swaddling - but we seem to be having a mini 4 month sleep regression so waiting a wee while to see if they get settled again before trying that out.

minesapintofwine Sun 19-Aug-12 15:29:14

Thankyou folks though I would get a row grin. Tbh it's something I've decided to do and though I know the majority of mums are against I've decided to go with my own personal feelings on this one. Not to say it isn't hard it's been very hard but dt1 has started settling in cot on 2nd day, dt2 is much tougher which really does make you think it's all worth it but I think if I gave up now I would feel more guilty as if it was all for nothing iyswim. Anyway you don't want to hear about this!

beyou my dts sleep in buggy seats though I've never had carrycots they slept fully reclined in them until 6 months then when I put them upright they still fall asleep! It's never been for long but at least they sleep just hate going into their cots in the day arrggghhhh.

Also beyou our bathroom is tiny you couldn't swing a hamster in it never mind a cat. And it's downstairs. We used to take baby bath into living room and do it all there. Now we do this.

First we bought

Your 2 may be too young but if you think they hold heads up well could try it.

Theres no room for 2 babies on floor of my bathroom (on mats) (I'm not joking here-teeny tine bathroom). So we still do everything else in living room undressing/drying and dressing but dh carries one into bathroom whilst I carry other then we bathe them together. They love it!! One day I bath them whilst he makes up bottles and tidies up then I call him and we take both into living room then he will feed both in car seats in their room whilst I do dinner etc it speeds up process and we alternate days. On the days I'm alone at bedtime (about twice a week) I pop one baby on mat on floor in bathroom (even then it's tight have to squeeze around door!) where he isn't likely to drown then I bring other baby in from living room (mat on floor). Then I pop both in bath at the end take one out pop on bathroom floor mat take one baby into living room go back collect other baby from bathroom take car seats up take babies up feed bed. During this ridiculous process dt1 cries all the time through overtired crankiness having not slept all day! Last night though in between tea and bath I propped them both up on cushions so they wouldn't fall (they can sit unaided for a short time only) and they played happily together dt1 was much happier at bedtime! They love being bathed together too though dt2 is a bit of a splasher! Aww twins.......

ClaireMarathonFeeder Sun 19-Aug-12 20:27:32

Hello twin mums, been quite bad at kerping up with the thread, we've sodnt some time with our families back home where it's also cooler, which was a relief. Exceptnow we have another heatwave grrr

Weaning is progressing steadily and lunch has now been totally replaced by solids, babies eating very happily and with lots of mess! Mostly purees still, they are not too keen on lumps still.

The good thing is normally after lunch they're so full, that they struggle to kerp their eyes open!

mines I know cc is a controversial subject and dummies, fruitshoots and sausage rolls grin but sometimes it works well. It does work with some babies/toddlers. There is no "one size fits all" method for getting them to sleep, (happy to be proven wrong if anyone finds a miracle solution!), so do you what you think works for you. I think with twins we're all allowed

rednellie hope you a good flight, you sound so organised I'm sure everyone will be impressed with your family!

Need to go, pizzas are here!

YeahBuddy Sun 19-Aug-12 20:36:43

Can I join you ladies? I have Id twin boys coming up to ten months smile they are my only DC(s)
Currently fast asleep at last

ClaireMarathonFeeder Mon 20-Aug-12 08:42:45

Hello buddy and welcome! There's space for everyone here!

We all like to have a moan and provide support toone another!

Just had a terrible night with one or the other waking up every couple of hours, I ferl like I've hardly had any sleep. Is it tge heat? Or the total lack of a routine at the moment? Being on holiday messed it all up!

<currently hugging a large mug of strong coffee>

DreamingOfPeace Mon 20-Aug-12 14:16:37

I just had my best night ever.

I think it was needed before I lost the plot though, after three nights where I just couldn't get DT1 to sleep. At all. One night it was 5am before i got him down, the night before last Dh did a looong walk with him at 3am. So, not entirely undeserved. He only woke twice last night, and was back asleep within an hour both times. Huge relief. His personal best- though I bet he doesn't repeat it til he's about 5... And DT2 slept through. As in 7:30-7:15 shock .

Welcome yeahbuddy

Rubbish, baby kick off, back later

beyoglu Mon 20-Aug-12 14:46:05

mines, that bathroom routine sounds just like ours except I'm doing it in the mornings while they're still civil - leave one in the bedroom looking at the cot mobile while the other one gets washed. I'm dreading the time when the one in the bedroom cries and I have to rush up with a wet baby. Maybe I could just stick one on the hall carpet while they're not yet mobile...

Anyway I'm mostly on here to brag because the small people appear to love their cots for daytime naps! We just put them up there (we are finally free of visitors today, and my OH took the day off) and swaddled them, put the wave sound on and half closed the window so it's dark but not as dark as at night. And they just went down! No endless shoogling/dummy replacing or anything.

I'm hoping this is the start of a new routine. I'm full of ideas like at 9 weeks when they started stretching their feeds and I came up with the current routine. Right so - at the moment they nap craply and they sleep 13 hours a night (and they sleep well at night, although they still do a 3am feed). They get up at 7.50 (I go and wake them up because it's Radio 4's Thought for the Day, boring sorry I mean because it's getting too late) have about 3 rubbish catnaps a day, better if they're on the move, and then by about 6 they're in a crap mood and we put them to bed at 7 after last feed at half 6. My new plan would be to get them up at about 7 or so, have 3 proper naps a day in the house (or ideally maybe 2 in the house and one in the buggy) and then put them to bed at about 8 rather than 7, hopefully without the whole arsenic hour thing going on. That would mean DH could work later (I know, lucky him). It also might mean we could stretch out the feeds during the day a little to like 3h 15 minutes, which would suit the girls better as they're not really that hungry at the 3h mark any more but they're not ready to go to a 4h daytime schedule. But best of all, if they nap properly that means they'll not be horrendous at the end of the day! And I can throw away that effing twin carrier... it was great to be able to use it when they were smaller but now they're about a stone each and they don't even like it very much. How many times have I watched Pointless at 5.15 while pacing the floor holding my back, like some bizarre rerun of the early labour?

beyoglu Mon 20-Aug-12 14:48:53

oh DreamingOfPeace (I'll give you your full title because this is momentous!) congratulations! Just saw your post as I cross posted.

Wow, that's so cool that things are going better for both of them.

DreamingOfPeace Mon 20-Aug-12 15:31:29

beyoglu, tbh I think he was just exhausted after only sleeping 8-9 hours out of 24 for 3 days straight. Little tike. I'd say one flukey good night is highly unlikely to mean much, but there's always the killer, hope smile . Now I am unable to get him to sleep again. He's been up since 6:45, its 15:15, he's had 2 10min catnaps. Gah. He really is my most difficult baby of my three, by far and away!

Good your routine is fitting into place. <dreams of 3 hour feeds and cot napping babies> . DT2 will nap if put in his cot. DT1 would rather burn in hell than sleep in his, ever... Hmm. I am very jealous, sounds like you'll have lovely happy settled babies (are you listening DT1?!)

Equally minesa I also think you do what you have to. Cc is not for me. However Dh is talking about it as we are having such trouble with DT1. Fingers crossed he turns over a new leaf soon and I hope its working in your house with your more stubborn twin!

ClaireMarathonFeeder Mon 20-Aug-12 20:31:20

Thats great dreaming hope its not a fluke!

I am really struggling at the moment, the excessive heat + broken nights are killing me. We hardly go out as just too hot for the twins, but it makes keeping them happy so hard sad. I am constantly bending to pick up/ put down and my back is so sore that I actually struggle to reach in the cot. I am scared to wake upone day and find I can barely move... Anyone know any exercises I could do? I have raken sone ibuprofen but pain hasn't shifted.

Sorry for the moan, I'm really in a foul mood..

minesapintofwine Mon 20-Aug-12 20:56:50

claire moan away we all understand. I had a bad back a few weeks ago I have suffered on and off for years but I found it hardest with the dts tbh as had no choice but to carry on like you probably find. I struggled with picking them up and especially out of the cot but I tried to avoid things like carrying them in the car seat and putting pushchair in and out of boot too much. I would say just do what you have to and avoid as much as possible. Instead of picking them up when crying I would pull faces or give them a toy to distract them ( I do this usually anyway). I used an Ibuprofen gel too but it wasn't very effective maybe something like deep heat? Is it your lower back? A work colleague showed me a good exercise is to stand in a doorway and push hands hard on top of frame so you are fully stretched out and the pressure on your hands will transfer to your back easing pain for a little bit. Just rest as much as poss I know how hard it is though! How hot is it there now?

dream thought we hadn't heard from you for a while you were too busy doing the baby jig or sleeping! I am certain that this is a new beginning for you but it's tense wondering isn't it? Good luck tonight x

beyou I am jealous of your dts settling in their cots for naps. We're on day 2 1/2 of cc and it's been a little better but they do disturb each other so until they both get the hang it's a little bit of a problem...

For those of that have had older dc's I'm really interested to know if you find dts harder and if so in which respects? and are they ever easier than one? I suppose it's due to the amount of people who say that twins must be hard etc even those that have had 3 or more dc's.

tiggersreturn Mon 20-Aug-12 21:26:28

I see we've moved.

My stats are dcda boys aug 2011 and the ds is right.

Just received a dr's letter for 8-12 month developmental review. Has anyone had one of these. It was dated 3 days before their birthday and arrived 7 days after it. Who thinks second class post really takes 10 days....

We are sort of on holiday doing day trips (dh's idea) which is proving as predicted rather stressful. All the worst bits without the good ones. Oh well at least it'll stop him ever doing it again.

Other than that not much to report.

Congratulations Bailey. I'm in awe of triplets.

DreamingOfPeace Mon 20-Aug-12 22:00:19

claire, the lifting and lugging is a killer isn't it? You poor thing. Is it lower back? If so, I would say lying on your back with knees bent up, feet on the floor, let your knees go gently as far as comfortable to one side, then back to the middle, then as far as comfortable to the other side, then back to the middle. A few in each direction. then same starting position, hug both knees up to chest and relax back down, and finally lying on tummy, push up with arms keeping your hips on the floor. Don't push into pain for any of them. These are just stretches for your back. Any core stability/ pilates type exercises are good for strengthening your core muscles which will help with lower back pain. As will not lugging around babies- ah, problem there for all of us smile . Back pain is horrible though, I hope it eases off a bit soon, but stretch and strengthen is the general rule (as well as avoiding aggravating factors- impossible I know)

he he minesa, I was genuinely too tired and fed up to post, I hit my new all-time low while trying to take my three to a wedding by myself, near my mums house, and she was there, as was my sister, but she was a bridesmaid, and it was a disaster after 3 hours sleep for me the night before, culminating in tears all round. At the wedding. disaster .

I don't think the twins are easier than my older DC. She is 23 months, and now is more independent every week. She has a new word pretty much every day now, will finally play a bit by herself without needing me, or a grandparent all the time and is lovely, and funny, and interesting. Her and DT2 would be a doddle wink . If dt1 would lie on his blinking playmat, or sit in his bouncer chair. or do anything (other than be held) for more than 5 mintues it would all be easier, but no, not for me, but dt1 is a very demanding baby!! So him combined with anther baby is bloody hard. I think twins will only become easier than one baby when they're at the age where they're playing together, so will eg go into soft play, a playgroup, or playground together and not want you to go etc. As my eldest still isn't at the age she's safe to do that yet either, its all hard here!!!

Anyway, I'm delaying the expressing and pureeing... best go

TwelveLeggedWalk Tue 21-Aug-12 06:50:59

Hey all. Wow, lots to chat about again.
Claire totally empathise about back pain, I've had bouts of it too. I try and go to a Pilates studio class one evening a we'd - I don't always manage it, but it really helps. When the back got bad I just refused to do anything unnecessary, so weekend/evenings I made dh do all changing/lifting in and out of buggies and cars. There's nothing you can do when it's just you, but a couple of days off really helps. That and making sure to always switch in you stomach muscles before bending. Seems to go with the job unfortunately though.

Hope for all of you with demanding babies. Yesterday a friend came round for a cup of tea, babies had just had lunch so I put them in the pkaypen with lots of toys for a few mIns. I later realised they basically played happily, with a little bit of interaction from me, for an hour! Was lovely to catch up and couldn't believe how long they were happy basically entertaining themselves - high needs Ds definitely lower needs now he can crawl/pull up and destroy things.

Cc is a funny one. I've never followed and 'rules', I just listen out to their cries and try and work out if it's something I can do something about (hungry/dirty etc), if it's overtiredness (in which case leaving them be, or back rub for dd seems to work) or whether it's Ds chancing his luck! But I've always been if the mind that there's 2 of them, one of me, so if they're both crying at once one of them will just have to wait! It's not formal sleep training, but I imagine anyone with 2 close on age has the same issue, and it means they have learnt to self-settle if I can't get to them (usually!).

Big problem here is milk drinking - as in, they're not! Eh? It's impacting on sleep quite badly, yawn!

ClaireMarathonFeeder Tue 21-Aug-12 08:31:33

thanks for the support and advice ladies, just what I needed! dream the exercises you suggested are the same I used to do at my postnatal class, but I have a rubbish memory and couldn't remember much! Now, my next question is how do I actually find the time to do them? I'd love to get to a pilates class in my dreams but all is shut here in august (Italy virtually goes into hybernation) and we're only here for two weeks in Sept, but there is a pay as you go pilates class and will try and go, courtesy of new aupair!

It is my lower back.

minesa this is predicted to be the hottest week of the year! With today and tomorrow being peak days, temp's in the day are about 34-36! Still mid 20s at night! Our room doesn't go below 30 shock! This is probably more info than you needed but I am slightly obsessed at the moment, checking forecast daily hoping to see the bloody temp go down!! this morning at 9am I was sweating already (sorry if tmi)
I have two older dc's who were 3.5 years apart and the twins are much much harder. At least so far...getting up twice as much in the night, not being able to pick them up at the same time, always one crying. You do get some of it with two, but not to the same extent.

twelve you're right about stomach muscles, I keep forgetting them not sure I still have them , but it does make a huge difference.
I hear you with the cc, the first time dd1 went to sleep by herself was one when I put her in the cot while I went to the loo, and decided not to rush as I usually did, and by the time I'd finished she'd gone to sleep, with only a few minutes of crying.. that was a revelation and we never went back. Shame it doesn't work with twins though as when I am dealing woth one the other just seems to get more and more worked up... hmm

kazar congrats and welcome to the thread, hope your babies are doing well and will soon be home with you, and the same to you baileys!

Hello lemele, BB3, tiggersreturn (sorry I ahd to laugh at your holiday description, why is it that dhs always think are easier than they are?? we are not having a holiday this summer, as I anticipated utter chaos! (but we are moving house, so still totally bonkers), and everyone else I might have missed.

ClaireMarathonFeeder Tue 21-Aug-12 08:32:25

ps If you don't hear from me for a while, I have probably melted...

Lemele Tue 21-Aug-12 14:51:13

minesa - Yes, twins are harder, but it's hard to compare because one of the reasons they're hard is that I have DS to deal with as well as them. Generally though, even though they are much easier babies than DS was, yes it is harder because of sheer numbers - you can't always hold both, there is often one waiting while the other is fed/changed/bathed etc.

twelve - I was just going to say that that problem (not drinking) is our current problem! Except mine aren't on solids yet so makes it interesting... they're both acting hungryish but not really wanting to drink, and it seems that unless very hungry they will only have a few sucks. DT2 in particular has lately started dong this awful noise a lot which is sort of like a fake cough crossed with gasping. Anyway it's similar to the noise he makes when hungry but he still won't eat! I wonder if its their gums hurting or something - anyone else had this? Anyway yesterday I gave in and gave them some baby rice, which they both wolfed down, and again today, implying that it is the sucking that they don't want to do.

I'm hoping that solids will help the eating/sleeping because it's getting worse again - usual routine is feed every 3 hours day or night, but once we reach 3/4am it's sometimes every hour (alternating babies) until 8am when they play for a bit and then sleep and then we're back to 3-hourly.

DreamingOfPeace Tue 21-Aug-12 18:37:27

lemele, mine are loving their grub, they're 20 weeks tomorrow. I had had no intention of starting so early,(but I also wasn't too fussed about waiting til 6 months) but my evening crying is virtually nil since I started. so its made a huge difference to my stress levels in that way- but added to them as I'm blinking expressing and pureeing now...

twelve I had the not drinking problem with DD from 8.5 months. I never got DD drinking milk since. Hv suggested I don't bother with formula as she would be v unlikely to take it (after trying various beakers etc) . She suggested cows milk and trying smoothies so I used to whizz up milk n banana/ nectarines/ berries etc. DD drank some occasionally. She still drinks no milk. I should try smoothies again... I know st least one of yours is cows milk protein intolerant though aren't they? I even tried nesquik though, I was so keen for her to drink milk. Some babies just aren't 'milky' babies my hv said. That's a good part of why I continued bf though, and i only stopped as I was 16 weeks pg again and it hurt too much- I still feel a bit guilty about that...

Boys super smiley today. Very sweet. DD had her friend round to play today, plus her friends sisters who are 8 & 6. She was being a little toad quite a few times about not sharing her toys and books. So cringey. And i was busy/ distracted with the twins a lot so i think she got away with blue murder. Double cringe. Any tips??

baileyslover Tue 21-Aug-12 19:55:17

Hi everyone. Really can't believe that my babies are 12 days old now. The past days have been a whirr of expressing and sitting in SCBU trying out bf. Everyone doing well, put on weight at last check and starting to wake up before food is due. 2 of them really seem to have 'got' bf, the littlest one is a bit sleepier but is getting there. Just found out today that they would be happy for them to come home, so am starting rooming in tomorrow to prove that I can maintain their weight with bf alone. Eek excited and terrified in equal measure!

TwelveLeggedWalk Tue 21-Aug-12 20:40:43

Oh Bailey, you just put the biggest smile on my face. Rooming in us just incredible, congratulations in doing so so well!

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