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The under/over/around 1 Twins thread for support, tips on how to survive and enjoy twin parenthood!

(823 Posts)
DreamingOfPeace Sat 11-Aug-12 18:58:12

BB3: dcda non id girls Sept 2011 (plus ds)
TwelveLeggedWalk: DCDA DD and DS 14.09.11 (PFBs)
Tiggersreturn twin boys (?!) (plus ds age 5)
Wherearemyearplugs twins (plus ds)
Ceeveebee b/g twins 21.11.11, PFBs
minesapintofwine: non-id boys 02/02/2012. dcs 1&2/pfb on good days.
ClaireMarathonFeeder: Boy/girl twins born 08/02/2012, no3&4, dd1 (2001) and dd2 (2004)
rednellie nonID boys 13.03.2012 + DD 03.02.10
Lemele: id boys (plus ds)
Skitoo : DCDA Non ID Boys, 01.04.12 DC 1&2
DreamingofPeace: dcda non id boys, 4.4.12 DC 2&3 (DD Sept 2010)
beyoglu: dcda non id girls 21.4.12
Bigboobsatlast ID twin boys 30.04.12 DC #2&3 (DD Feb 2010)
Scollister mcda girls 3.5.12 plus DD age 4
Twin2makes4 mcda girls plus 2 ds,age 8 & 4

Again, sorry for mistakes, doing this from my phone!

Settle in ladies smile

spartacusflapjack Mon 22-Oct-12 08:14:30

Dream Just reading and running as boys have just started to niggle the second I signed in but this book has been invaluable to us - like a veggie version of Annabel Karmel:
Goulash and Baby Rice is a particular favourite! x

rednellie Mon 22-Oct-12 13:32:04

Ah yes beyoglu, the amazing reach of babies. Never forget when DD pulled an entire pint of beer over her and DH. That was good. Not. She also used to feed us, I think it's a socialization thang. She still offers me her food. Cute.

I just went and looked at a playgroup fir DD. Maybe 3 half days a week, but I'm still undecided. I know you all prob think I'm insane but I'd really miss having the threeof them. I also don't want to upset the equilibrium again. I feel like DD is in a really nice phase right now. Decisions decisions. I've also been offered a job, it'd be working from home so I'd need to sort something out...

minesapintofwine Mon 22-Oct-12 14:32:08

Gawd it's so hard to keep up on this thread! I am feeling a bit better thanks but still a bit sad and like red said money problems are the last thing needed when you've got enough to deal with! Did have a nice weekend though I met a gp of twins in Cardiff Bay and she said her grandson, even though 7 weeks early, is clinically obese at 18 months! Made me feel so much better beyou I'm avoiding baby clinic for same reason! (plumpness hee hee). We do half jars and half home cooked too mainly as though I love them to eat what we eat some things are just not baby suited I think! (eg the crap me and dh eat).

red be careful what you say about babies not sleeping until 1 on this thread though tbh think most of us are finding that out! 3 more months to go. I can't complain dts are good sleepers mostly though only had 3 sleep throughs in past week which is not good for them. If it is that whole teething thing I don't mind. Dt1 has 4 of them now plus I can already feel his back teeth at the surface. He's been clingy and grumpy the past two days too. Dt2!!

chocolate what imposter? I missed this? please tell I love gossip!

dream your poor dd is she ok now? Hugs for her x

dt2 has started crawling forwards now straight to the dvd player and anything else bad so more babyproofing later especially as think dt1 is not far off. Heaven help me. Regarding twins on the move how is it for the rest of you with this? I'm just starting out and feel like I need several more pairs of eyes! I have a playpen but they will only go in for very limited times....

I'm losing my train of thought here think I may be going doolally post dts birth...

TwelveLeggedWalk Tue 23-Oct-12 12:26:47

Hello all. Sorry, real life got int he way for a while.
All good here. DS is walking (eek!) and DD is cruising like mad trying to catch up. I think she said her first word the other day to ('Hello!' accompanied by mad waving at her own reflection. Too cute).

Sleep is still 2 steps forward, one step back however. DD will sleep consistently. DS will... not.

We're about to lose our lovely lovely nanny, who was supposed to come and help out with the hellish newborn stage a few mornings a week, and stayed and stayed until she's been doing 2 days a weeks so I can work over the summer. But now they're too big and wriggly for her, so they have to go to a new nursery, and I'm so sad. They've been going to another nursery occasionally and seemed mostly fine there, but this one they don't seem to settle at on the intro days (I guess cos they're older), and I just hear our lovely nanny caring so much about whether they're eating well, sleeping well, reading to them, just really loving them, and am scared nursery is more baby-zoo than parent-replacement. Sniff.

TwelveLeggedWalk Tue 23-Oct-12 12:33:56

Dream on the lactose-free weaning - what stage are you at?

Lots of the Stage 2 Ellas pouches are ok - Beef Casserole, Roast Lamb, the LEntil one, the Bean one, Chicken Casserole, Chicken Noodles, Lamb & Zingy Cous Cous all fine. Avoid the Roast chicken, Fishcakes and any Brekkie ones as they all have milk in (think I might've bought too many of these....).

Annabel Karmel lovely lentils was a hit. Pasta sauces with chicken & veg. Avocado for fat. Houmous was ok.

Lacto-free formula in cereal (vom) - poor DD gets it too for ease.

Pretty quickly we tried DS on the Lacto Free range and he did fine on it. I'd make mash and creamy sauces with the soft Philedephia-stle cheese (blends well with broccoli etc), sticks of the hard cheese (it's actually quite nice), and lots of the yoghurts. Toast with either Lacto-free or sunflower spread. There are traces of milk in things like bread, but we don't have to worry about that now.

He now seems ok on small amounts of butter and normal cheese, although I think we've had bad reactions to yoghurt - possibly because he loves yoghurt and eats more of it!

Coconut milk has also been fine for us - mild Thai curries or dhal and rice are good.

Any of that help?

rednellie Tue 23-Oct-12 13:14:21

dream, here are some links my vegan SIL sent me. Ignore the vegan agenda and it's very useful info for being dairy free and where you get calcium from etc. The fact you're bf makes a difference as they'll be getting good fat from you, so not such a big concern. Anyway, links:
and this
finally this


rednellie Tue 23-Oct-12 13:15:46

Sorry you're losing your nanny Twelve. I'm totally pathetic getting worried abotu DD going to playgroup 3 mornings a week and she's TWO fgs. I need to get a grip. Although, having looked at the cost, we might have to wait till she gets free placement at nursery as I'm not sure we can justify the cost...

beyoglu Tue 23-Oct-12 13:35:39

think we have started teething here - normally chipper DT1 was screaming, gave calpol and she fell asleep in my arms and woke in a good mood.

DreamingOfPeace Tue 23-Oct-12 20:55:30


Just wrote a long, detailed post and lost it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man I'm angry

So, brief overview was:
My weaning issues are
1. gagging and puking- slightly better now not so mucous-filled but still often bring up what looks like more than total quantity consumed when its all over them, the highchair tray, the floor... hmm
2. complete refusal- eat one mouthful and thats it. I'm really struggling to find time to cook, so they're getting things like blended spag bol, probably too early... They'll try one tiny mouthful, or even not want to try any, then that's it. But will happily eat fruit puree, so not that they're not hungry/don't want solids. They just will not open their mouths for the spoon. Even things like ready brek with mashed banana stirred through. They love banana, so I did ready brek with milk and banana for dt1, and with soya milk for dt2. One mouthful and that was it, but they lunged for toast, and attempted to devour that (puked everywhere of course, they're so not good with finger food yet), so I don't think it's that they're not hungry. But anything I consider 'real' food, they won't have... And while eating fruit puree is ok, its not good enough as a complete diet!! DD ate everything at this age, sigh

DT2 is on his second lot of yoghurt today, and will have the same again in another 3 days if he seems ok with it. I started this dairy challenge thing too early I think, as he's not totally well (given up hope of that day!) so I can't tell what's whinging because he has a cough and wheezy chest, and what could be intolerance whinging. <idiot mother> . He's been crying after his evening feed, but not after every feed, so I'm calling it so far so good. All that calcium info is really interesting though rednellie. Shows how much I know... zilch

DreamingOfPeace Tue 23-Oct-12 20:59:42

oops, pressed post too soon.

Hope you're feeling better minesa, money worries are grim.

We've just worked out what it will cost me to go back to work- and its about £200/month LOSS. I just don't know if we can tak a loss like that for me to go back and do my job while paing out for other people to look after my children sad So my decision about working may be made. Still haven't heard about my career break but its looking unlikely, as not hearing means they haven't recruited to my job... Its NHS ceevee so can only be advertised on the silly NHS website, but has gone back out combined with another lot of part time hours to make a full time job, so still fixed term but FT, so maybe better chance of recruiting...

Anyway, nearly at dt1's first wake up time, so best go and clear up. Will he ever 'get' sleeping?! I'm losing the faith, he's still up 2 hourly...

rednellie Tue 23-Oct-12 21:26:14

Just a thought - it may cost you 200 pound loss now, but would it work out for the best in the long run? i.e. you wouldn't have a big gap in your career etc. Especially as they're looking like they wont give you your career break?

Of course if you want to have a break, that's totally cool too, I was just thinking that sometimes we look at the short term situation and not the long term...

Don't worry about the food refusal. In fact I seem to remember you telling someone else "food before one is just for fun"! wink Take your own advice and give yourself a break.

TwelveLeggedWalk Tue 23-Oct-12 21:49:43

Don't panic Dream. Fruit's good. We spent friggin months on banana and avocado, pear and butternut squash, carrot and apple... They get all their fats and proteins from milk, it's fine. Weaning seemed so so slow for us, and even now I can't predict what they'll go for and what they won't, but it will get there. It was over 9 months before they attempted finger food, and now they'll steal fish fingers from my plate. Ds still despises vegetables but adores shepherd pie.. Go figure.

TwelveLeggedWalk Tue 23-Oct-12 21:53:51

Oh and do either of them have sore throats/coughs? We had epic voms and refusal of all but the softest purees when they had a throat bug.

Ella's stage 1s are savoury but have lots of fruit, I spent a long while on those whilst slowly replicating similar homecooked stuff bit by bit.

I don't work for ella's by the way!

ceeveebee Tue 23-Oct-12 23:32:10

Hi dream. How old are your two now - just over 6 months right? We started weaning at 6 months and whilst DTS was keen, DTD would not eat anything other than yoghurt until she was about 8 months old. Now she eats everything. It's so frustrating when they won't eat but really at that age they just don't need anything more than milk.

We dont have any food allergies here but a lot of what they eat is dairy-free - lentils with or without meat, pasta with mushroom/vegetable/tomato/spaghetti Bol sauce, cottage pie (obviously without butter in the mash), mashed up Sunday roasts, tuna or salmon sandwiches, scrambled egg (are they egg intolerant too?), chunky soups etc etc. basically usually whatever we had the night before.

red and beyoglu yey first teeth! DTD now has 4, she didn't get her first until 10 months. DTS has 8 and he likes to sharpen them on his sister/me/any passing toddler.

red some of the twin mums went to a soft play centre in kew yesterday, there were 4 boy/boy sets and my two so 9 boys and my DTD, she was surrounded! We're planning to go somewhere in Richmond/kew/Barnes on Mondays each week (starting on 5 november) if you are interested

rednellie Wed 24-Oct-12 02:58:10

Definitely! Send me a pm with the details, I'd love to join in.

DreamingOfPeace Wed 24-Oct-12 08:00:33

No time for a proper reply yet, but you guys are amazing, thanks so much for all the advice/ links/ reassurance
<sob, sniff>

beyoglu Wed 24-Oct-12 14:25:37

dream, my two turned the nose up at ready brek, preferring the more expensive baby rice with a bit of fruit puree mixed in (cheers guys). I'm going to try it again next week. From what I've read, at this point the only thing that matters is that they're getting new tastes and that they're not forced to eat anything they don't want - for me that takes a load off because I don't need to bother trying!

Now, you're all going to disown me because I'm doing... controlled crying. I cancelled the Millpond appt and bought their book instead (long story, thought DT2 was learning to settle but all went pear shaped yesterday). They have like flowcharts and suggested solutions and the one closest to us (twins who night wake) was basically controlled crying for naps, bedtime and night wakes plus bedtime routine that involves doing the milk before you take them to bed. We'd basically made those changes to the routine, and we'd noticed that while using the check and console method that DT2 slept well only on the nights where she happened to fall asleep while we were out of the room. So I think our instincts were leading us in the CC direction, but I didn't want to start it till I read the book 15 times and knew exactly how to be consistent in applying it... just did it for the afternoon nap and I sort of feel like a bad mum for not feeling like a bad mum! You know, in the book it's all "it'll be harder for you than it will be for the baby." It wasn't hard at all. OK she only cried for like 7 minutes. But they didn't seem like particularly long minutes. It's a hell of a lot easier than hovering by the nursery door trying to figure out what to do...

minesapintofwine Wed 24-Oct-12 20:40:01

I've no time to post much at all but just wanted to say beyou I have done cc and I live by it. It's not for everyone but I'm with you! You have to be determined though to be ok with it iyknwim. If you feel the slightest bit of uncertainty it may not be for you. You sound as sure as I was! Oh it worked wonders btw! I did it for naps and have no problems at all now plus longer sleeps. You may find it takes a longer time than it's 'supposed' to and you have to go back to it every so often but it's worth it imo. Ok I have to go now for real....

minesapintofwine Wed 24-Oct-12 20:41:45

Oh and I didn't feel too guilty either blush had a cup of tea whilst stopwatching too blush blush. It can be hard though...I have cried too...

rednellie Wed 24-Oct-12 23:06:07

So is controlled crying just letting them settle? Cos I've been doing that for yonks grin

Ach, it's all semantics really. Big news is I'm out obviously me own. Just had a girlie night in central London. Feels very peculiar to be on a train at night on my own. I don't think I've been on my own for months. Now must just stay awake till my stop...

beyoglu Thu 25-Oct-12 07:27:25

mines, thanks for the support! They were amazing last night - took 10 mins to stop crying then heard nothing out of them all night except for the night feeds (which we are starting to wean). I am in absolutely no doubt that that's better for them than half waking every 45 minutes/90 minutes and having to be rocked back to sleep.

rednellie, basically, yes it is just letting them settle! You let them cry for like 5 mins then go back and just talk to them but just say hello basically and then go away for 10 mins, then 15, then go back every 15 mins. The books let on like you'll be at it for an hour or more the first time but I think that's in older, really sleep-resistant babies. I think actually last night using that method they cried for less time in total than they did when we used to go up at every noise.

rednellie woo to night out in London! Like, actual proper London! I'm going to feel like an escapee from jail very strange the first time I go on public transport in the dark again...

I feel like a new woman this morning! Not that I got a great night's sleep - part of the CC is that you don't sleep in with them, so I spent the whole night going "was that a cry? What about that? Was that one?" and being freaked out by DH stealing the duvet etc - we haven't slept in the same bed for 6 months! But it feels so much more human to be sharing a bed again. I even got a shower before he got up this morning, usually have to wait till the morning nap.

minesapintofwine Thu 25-Oct-12 10:14:47

beyou unfortunately my dt2 has done hour long cc sad but he's great these days. Our problem was the rocking to sleep too it had got to the point where I would put dt1 down and he would cry for an instant pick up even if he'd dozed off so had to do something. Good luck for tonight you are definately doing the right thing and hooray for results!

Dh and I haven't not shared a bed since the dts were born just swapped sides so I could be nearer the dts at first but I couldn't sleep on the wrong side of the bed! It must be weird sharing again after 6 months don't think I would want to after having my own space! It's nice when the little things start to go back to normal isn't it? Like when the dts went into their own room and I took the horrible blackout blind from our room as I like daylight! Now we watch tv and read and (stuff) and it's semi-normal. Phew.

red sounds like you had a good night! I want a night out now.

dream thanks for the words of support I am feeling better things just get to me sometimes you know? It's stupid I spent so long worrying I would never have children and now I do I worry about other stuff. I did before but ykwim? Don't worry too much about the weaning btw I know it's frustrating but they will get there. At 9 monthsish my dt1 basically feeds himself his own food cut up or finger food (I spoon feed him though whilst he holds one in his hand) holds his own bottle sometimes and drinks from a sippy cup himself. Not bragging as dt1 can barely eat a lump without throwing up won't feed himself fuck all and looks at me like I've got heads if I hold out finger food for him. So every baby is different! I can't advise on the dairy free sorry but you've had some good advice from red and twelve and ceevee.

ceevee btw I saw your post on another thread but didn't comment about how much home cooking you do and I am in awe!!!!! I love cooking from scratch but find it too hard to do anything major unless there's someone to watch the dts. Your dts are lucky to get such good food and can you please send some our way?!?

The other things I'm missing at the moment (besides having the time and enjoyment of cooking) is lie-ins, adult tv in the day blush, giving a damn about how I look when I leave the house...

Dt1 is cutting his back teeth and is very unhappy and clingy at the moment (sympathy beyou) last night he screamed all through bathtime which he usually loves and woke at 10pm crying. I tried bonjela then but he woke again at 11 so I got the Nurofen out and he slept all night after that. So today I'm going to give him Nurofen at 1 and 4.30 and a later dose if he wakes as I usually try not to give more than one dose a day if that but I don't know why if it helps?!?

I have to say before I sign off this epic post that you are all so supportive and lovely to chat to it really helps. I had to go to town the other day and then into the supermarket a very nice lady got a double trolley for me (at the back as usual whilst I put the pushchair in the car. Then yesterday I was driving through Merthyr and saw a young woman with twins about 18months trying to cross a busy road with them. The road is fast and the twins were on foot I saw two workman carry them across the road for her! Ah people can be so nice!

Enough said I think!

ClaireMarathonFeeder Thu 25-Oct-12 21:31:03

Minespint dtb is just like that sometimes, I can only put him down when totally asleep or screams blue murder...but I don't think I would be able to endure an hour of that...I don?t have the stamina!
Dtg still feeds to sleep, naps and bedtime...

I know I will have to address this at some when I want to wean them off the breast, but I have my head firmly stuck in the sand! smile

good luck beyouglu hope it keeps going well!

rednellie hope you had a good night, can't remember the last time I ahve been out in the evening without kids... and yes I would feel like an escapee too! I am always amazed just how many people are out late at night on the few occasions I do go out since having kids...of course I assume that no one else goes out either.

welcome back chocolate

Twelve sorry to hear about nanny, but nurseries can be lovely, it really depends on the staff there, we were very lucky with dd1 (10 years ago! shock and I was always happy with hers, hope you find something good for you and the dts

spartacus I do not do ironing. anymore. Seriuosly, the only items that get ironed if he's lucky are dh's shirts!

right off to get some zzz before they start waking up...

DreamingOfPeace Fri 26-Oct-12 20:44:14

Here here for a sanity-maintaining thread smile

Yes, boys are 6 months (and a bit, 7 months on 4th Nov) . So now DT1 has decided he loves food hmm . DT2 is not loving it anymore, (pre stopping for the epic diarrhoea he was keen as mustard). He is still coughing, over a month now, and also dairy challenging atm so don't know which is causing his current misery. But last night, after 3 whopping meals, including purees beef goulash for tea, DT 1 (a 4 feeds a night baby) slept all night!!! As in 6:30 pm to 7am shock . We will probably be back to 4 night feeds tonight but was a ray of hope. Shame his brother up 6 times hey?! yes, 6 times. A Very Miserable Baby too, poor DT2. I only put them to bed so early as I was so sick of DT2 crying. I wish there was a test for this cmpi, if its that making him miserable I'm happy to stop the dairy again but I've done the half a petit filous again as I'm still not convinced. He's definitely a miserable baby these last few days, and windy, and screaming in his highchair/ after some feeds, but it could be the dairy, his teeth, a phase... Oh, why are they so hard to work out?!

My understanding of cc is go in, soothe, go out, go back in 5 min, repeat, wait 10 min etc. I could listen to 5 minutes of crying, if it wasn't hysterical crying, but never 15+ . I don't have the stomach for it... Touch wood, my two have both been put down awake and gone to sleep by themselves holding a comforter toy so maybe I'll never have to do cc...

Hooray for a night out rednellie Have they given up the dreaded 9:30-10pm feed then to let you out?

I iron nothing blush

Err, forgotten the rest...

rednellie Fri 26-Oct-12 22:35:51

What is this ironing you speak of?

The answer to your question dream is that they gave and they haven't. DT2 who is eczema dairy free by has been reliably skipping it for a week. DT1 sometimes can be settled, sometimes not. Tonight I'm feeding him...when I went out DHAKA and I just agreed he'd settle for as ling as it took. He's not bothered by the crying and can be rational - me not so much

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