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Please tell me some positive, happy stories about having twins...

(47 Posts)
DigestivesWithPhiladelphia Fri 03-Aug-12 22:19:28

Please??

I am 15 weeks pregnant with twins. We have a 6 year old & 16 month old already. This pregnancy was planned & luckily it happened as soon as we started trying. However, the twin part wasn't planned & I am still struggling to get my head around going from 2 children to 4.

I've lost count of the amount of people who approach me in the playground, crowing "Twins?! You must be MAD" or "How will you cope with four children - it will be SO HARD". One woman just approached me & was saying "Twins? Oh no, oh no". I barely know her!

I am tired and extremely hormonal and sick of the thoughtless comments and stupid questions I'm being asked: "Did you know it would be twins? Did you know there would be a risk?".... I didn't even know how to respond to that one! And don't get me started on the people who eye my stomach and gleefully say "Imagine how HUGE you'll get".

Yes, I know it won't be especially easy, but as soon as I had my first scan, I knew how much I wanted both the babies. Another bloody unhelpful comment I kept receiving was "One might just disappear you know. It's common for one just to die"

Saying that, my close friends & family (and DH) have been really supportive and positive. It's the people I don't know well who seem to be passing comment & asking invasive questions. I don't like being the centre of attention at the best of times & at the moment I just feel like screaming at people: "If you can't say anything nice then don't SPEAK TO ME AT ALL!!".

Okay, rant over :-) Please, please, tell me some lively stories that will help me to look forward to the arrival of twins & perhaps convince me that I will cope after all...

DigestivesWithPhiladelphia Fri 03-Aug-12 22:21:21

Sorry, I meant "lovely stories" although "lively" might do!

harrygracejessica Fri 03-Aug-12 22:26:21

Twins are great :-) yes tiring but still great.

My eldest was 8 months when I decided I wanted 2 close together and that was it so 2 weeks later I was pregnant and at the 12 week scan there were 2 blobs on the screen!! The eldest was 15 months when the girls decided to make a grand entrance at 33 weeks, 20 days in scbu and were home :-)

Fast forward to when they were 2 and eldest 3. Decided book our wedding etc etc, paid deposits then 9 months before the big day I just knew I was pregnant ( total accident) took a test and yup so waited for the scan to be told I was having more twins and due 3 weeks before the wedding :-/ Cancelled the wedding and have a set of boy twins now too :-)

sweetfluffybunnies Fri 03-Aug-12 22:34:40

Twins are hard work but well worth it, mine are 14 now and although at times it has been a struggle I have found that somehow you just cope and muddle through. I didn't have any other children (difficult enough conceiving once!!!) but I am sure you can meet the challenge.

I wonder how many of the people who make thoughtless comments actually have twins themselves? Not many I bet, so just ignore them. Sounds like you have a lovely family to support you, so don't worry, try to enjoy your pregnancy.

And welcome to a very special club!!!

bagpuss Fri 03-Aug-12 22:39:26

People are odd, wen you are expecting they say how will you cope and then when the twins are born they will treat you all like royalty and tell you how fantastic you are for managing so many children, at least that's how it was for me.

Twins are fabulous. I can honestly say that nothing can top the experience of twin pregnancy, birth and parenthood. All my dcs are very much loved but my dts bring a really special dimension to our family that wouldn't have been there had there only been one baby.

99rose Fri 03-Aug-12 22:49:57

Hello I don't have twins but friends do and they consider it an absolute blessing . I'd love to be a mum to twins ... I think you are a very lucky lady !!!

Emphaticmaybe Fri 03-Aug-12 23:34:47

I have twin girls who are 14 now, also an older DS and a younger DD.

I have to say that overall I have enjoyed the experience of twins- seeing their relationship develop and watching them interact over the years has been great. They are good friends now and I'm hoping will be a support for each other in the years to come.

In terms of difficulty OP- you are already an experienced parent so you should ignore other peoples doom and gloom scenarios. Twins can be very straight forward - personalities are more important than the actual amount of babies - you could find yourself with a couple of text book sleepers/feeders and be pleasantly surprised - I was.

Once you have established some sort of routine there is often an amazing sense of pride that comes with coping with what most people consider really tricky - but remember to take up all useful offers of help- your sanity/health is the most important thing for your family so don't struggle if you don't have to.

Congratulations and good luck,smile

2to3 Fri 03-Aug-12 23:35:46

Those comments are just part of having twins. It gets better as you get used to it and just brushing people off. And once they arrive you'll be so busy you won't have time to care. Mine are 7 now, funny, energetic and love each other's company. Having them has been amazing, wouldn't change it for anything. Tamba and twinsclub.co.uk have good message boards. Otherwise, just do whatever makes your life easier (baby led weaning!), accept all offers of help and enjoy!

ItsAPileOfBalls Fri 03-Aug-12 23:40:44

I am the mother of twin girls of 14 (no other children) and my tip is to put a pound in a jar every time you hear the words 'double trouble' grin

My girls are great - good friends most of the time and yes the early months were difficult but I honestly wouldn't change a thing.

congratulations

rednellie Sat 04-Aug-12 00:06:53

Digestives watch this and laugh

Honestly, having twins gives people a whole other level of nosiness/intrusiveness to be getting on with.

But you also get a whole shed load of lovely comments too - look how well you're coping, aren't you wonderful, what beautiful children, you are so blessed. If I'm having a bad day (which all mums do) I go out and get showered with praise!

Having older DCs is great as they take up a lot of the slack of entertaining the twins and really, they are amazing. I love watching how they're different from each other, and having two babies interact is just gorgeous.

Go find the twins antenatal group on here (called Twins Club 4) and have a peek at the postnatal group too, although we do moan about sleeping a lot! And congratulations!

beyoglu Sat 04-Aug-12 07:25:41

I've got 15 week old twins and when I go in to wake them in the morning they blink in the light, open their eyes and then both smile as if to say "oh good, it's you!"
It's... interesting - physically demanding during and after pregnancy and if you can get help for the first 3 months I totally would. But it's not as hard as you might expect, e.g. they don't really set each other off crying, usually if one is crying the other might do it in sympathy but as soon as you sort out the original cryer's problem the other one stops! I imagine it's a lot easier to get them going off to sleep on their own than with a singleton as well as there are so many times you have to just let one get on with it while you're sorting out the other... I took my small ones to a baby playgroup on Thursday and was very smug proud that while everyone else had to rock theirs to sleep with lots of fussing, mine just get swaddled and put down and they're quite content.

You've got kids already so I bet you'll rock the early days anyway...

twin2makes4 Sat 04-Aug-12 07:34:36

I to had to get my head round going from 2 to 4!!! It took a while and then you move on to worrying about the twin pregnancy, but its not as scary when they arrive yes hard work mine are 35 days old today and are truly scrummy although im exhausted i wouldn't have it any other way xx

TwelveLeggedWalk Sat 04-Aug-12 07:55:32

Rednellie I am HOWLING at that cartoon!

ginmakesitallok Sat 04-Aug-12 08:07:44

I'm a twin. And now that my DTB and I are nearly 38 I think my Mum quite likes us...!! grin

Randomkath Sat 04-Aug-12 15:32:14

Congratulations and don't listen to those negative comments. Yes, there are lots of things that are more difficult, but you will cope. My twin girls are my first babies so I don't have anything to compare it to, but I love being a twin mum and wouldn't have it any other way. They are 9 months old and at the moment they are crawling around exploring the hall together and babbling away to each other intently (I think they are discussing the shoe rack). Moments like this make me smile smile

DigestivesWithPhiladelphia Sat 04-Aug-12 16:23:00

Thank you so much for all your replies, reading them has really cheered me up today. I will keep this thread to look at on the days I am feeling down.

RedNellie, I loved that clip, it looks like I've got more to come when it comes to the silly comments & questions! HarryGraceJessica - two sets of twins?! That's amazing.

All of the stories have been really lovely to read and have helped me to imagine the babies as two little people, rather than just scan pictures.

xkatyx Sat 04-Aug-12 17:05:40

Congratulations smile twins are amazing and though it may not feel it now it's such a special time.

I have 5 children ,9,6 my daughter who is 18 months and 7 month twins.

My dd was 3 months old when I fell pregnant (total shock)

But like someone said if you have had children already I think it might be easier as in you know what to exspect and how to handle things a little.

I absolutely love having twins thu har just started interacting with each other it's so cute.

You will hopefully learn to ignore the horrible comments and lap up the nice ones .. Because there is loads of people out there that are so kind, not all meanies

Twingirlsrock Sat 04-Aug-12 20:06:58

It took me a good few weeks, after finding out I was expecting twins at the 12 week scan, to feel good about the news. I was so scared about EVERYTHING and people's reactions were awful in general- lots of horrified expressions of "how will you cope" made it a million times worse.

But honestly they are just wonderful. I have found it such a privilege to have these 2 amazing babies and would echo an earlier post; 1 difficult baby is way harder than 2 calm babies.....it's absolutely about them as individuals.

I get stacks of positive attention now when we do anything - very very different to how people were when I first told them.

People are stupid. You will adore your twins and they will adore you. I love that they have each other (I also have an older child) and they completed our family in the most special of ways.

Congratulations. It's a really incredible experience

ChopstheDuck Sat 04-Aug-12 20:23:37

I am gobsmacked at the one might dispappear comment!

I went from 2 to 4, had 4 under the age of 5 with one disabled (ds1). Yep twins are hard, but they are amazing! I think it took me a year to get over it, I'd still be looking at them and thinking, did I really produce two of you!

I've actually had a couple of weeks with just the twins, and it has been lovely. The closeness of them really comes out, the way they interact, look out for each other. The fight a lot, but when it comes to the crunch, they have an amazing bond. When they were born they sucked each other thumbs, and the feeling of feeding two babies at once was amazing.

Congratulations, ignore the negatives, and enjoy every minute of it!

toomuchpink Sat 04-Aug-12 21:23:06

I was freaked out when I found out my second child was going to be a second and third. The twins are nearly a year now and, while of course it is more demanding than having one extra, I also feel me and my family have had an experience not many people get. Seeing two such different, lovely, little personalities develop is wonderful.
Of course there are moments when it feels like chaos and the first six months are pretty exhausting - but what is six months in a lifetime? If you can afford it, get someone to come in to help you a little bit during that period, or seek out volunteers. Enough to allow you an easier afternoon or two a week.
I must admit I am not planning any more children but in some ways I think four is a better number than three. There is less chance of someone being left out.
I wander what extraordinary things those people with their thoughtless comments are going to do in their lives?

toomuchpink Sat 04-Aug-12 21:23:50

I mean wonder

rednellie Sun 05-Aug-12 00:30:24

Glad you all liked the video. Makes me chuckle.

I've only just taken in that comment about one disappearing. If people say that to you, I hope to god they never meet any of the mums on here or the ones I've met in RL who did lose a twin in utero. It's a tragedy beyond words and to offer that as some sort of thing to hope for is disgusting.

Sorry, had to get that off me chest. Babies are great and the more the merrier if you ask me. grin

ClaireMarathonFeeder Sun 05-Aug-12 13:10:03

Hello digestives

My twins were also no3&4 and quite a shock to start with!
I was also scared about how I would have coped with 4 kids and give them all enough attention etc.

People will say the stupidest things, that is something you will have to get used to, unfortunately, I've had comments like "rather you than me" or "if it happened to me I'd die" hmm
I am like you in that I hate too much attention and always try to blend in, but I'm developing a thick skin, with 4 kids in a country when even 3 is rare (not in the uk), we stick out like a sore thumb!! Heads turn when we walk into a place, and people stop us all the time. It can be sweet but also very annoying!

The twins are boy/girl and 6 months and the whole family is totally smitten! My oldest also help a lot so its not been as hard as I expected (but no walk in the park either!), it helps if you have low expectations of what you can achieve each day.

Do join in the antenatal and postnatal threads, they are invaluable as sources of advice, support and cake!!!

Congratulations smile

This may be a little cheesy but I like it

“Double trouble” they say with glee,
“Oh what a nightmare”, “rather you than me!”
With a deep breath I smile (through gritted teeth) and listen oh so politely,
to how so-and-so’s cousin’s wife had twins, and how they do so pity me!

... ... My twins may not be angels, my life may sometimes be hard,
But really it’s me who should pity you, for being so hard of heart.
For how can you look at those rosy cheeks, those eyes with cheeky gleam,
And see therein a nightmare, and not a wondrous dream.

For if one child's a miracle; a blessing, a gift, a joy,
Then surely two’s doubly blessed, yes - even if they’re both boys!
I really am so lucky, precious firsts – I see them twice,
And triplet parents are luckier – they get to see them thrice!

Yes, my hands are well and truly full, but with cuddly balls of fun,
Who will always have a friend with whom to laugh and skip and run.
My heart is overflowing even when my patience wears thin,
And I thank my lucky stars each day that I have my precious twins.

accessorizequeen Sun 05-Aug-12 19:49:12

I remember getting this from people when I said I was pg with twins too Digestives (I had 4yo and 1yo at the time so similar to you). I was struggling with depression a bit as it hit me really hard and hearing those comments spurred me to be more positive! People just focus on the hard work and forget there are 2 gorgeous babies coming not just one. BOGOF deal as dp put it when we found out! To lots of people still, twins are an anomaly and they are unnerved by it because it's strange to them.
Main thing that helped me was other people's twins. I joined Tamba and lots of people have gorgeous pics in their forum signatures and there are twins threads on here where people will happily share photos of their gorgeous babies/toddlers etc! (Look at my profile for some!). My b/g twins are nearly 4 and it's been a real adventure and I won't pretend that it wasn't/isn't really hard at times. But I love that they have each other for ever and my little team are so sweet to each other. Dp's personal fave is the day after we'd moved house, we found them in the kitchen making peanut butter sandwiches on the floor - there was a fair amount of teamwork involved as most of the loaf was lined up along the floor. I fondly remember them falling asleep on top of each other when they shared a cot.

Try this video for some twin laughs!

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