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(42 Posts)
KateRaeganandMichael Wed 25-Apr-12 21:21:01

Hi, well this pregnancy hasnt been great so farhmm, Ive done my back in, had a SCH, Hyperemisis and 2 bouts of dehydration along with the usual pain in the arse parts of pregnancy smile anyway I am (today) 17+5 pregnant with my (now confirmed) identical twins (mcda) with the bad news that It looks like one of the babies (baby A) isnt doing so well, It looks like it is at least a week behind and has a lot less amniotic fluid than the other baby. so I am being sent to Princess Anne Hospital in southampton to basically confirm my hospitals suspicions, I will be watched for god knows how long then i suspect referred to Kings, in London to have Laser Ablation and I am absolutely PETRIFIED. like most people I have been abusing using Dr Google and frightening myself silly. I downloaded a pdf basically explaining the procedure but even just thinking about it now makes me feel very weepy and the head midwife I spoke to today was nice but very blunt (which would normally make me feel....not better but at least as if I were being told the truth, but the only thing it did was make me feel like I had been kicked in the stomach...scuse the pun)
is there anyone out there who can offer advice, a word of comfort? I know there are other ttts chats but, well i feel a little selfish today.
i also have a few questions to ask
1. what should I ask the consultant tomorrow?

thats about all the questions I can think to ask at the moment sorry but my mind is racing!

Many thanks in advance

KateRaeganandMichael Wed 23-May-12 19:44:00

Thank you Cerubina x I feel really out of sorts and like I can't really "enjoy" this pregnancy which is really annoying because I look like I am about 40 wks pregnant (with one) and when people come up to me and say "you look like you're about to pop" and I have to explain everything (ie no I have "20 weeks" left) I just cry, I feel bad for thinking of names, even for laughing sometimes and we haven't even really got anything for the babies yet, just 2 cute little 5 pieces because of all the uncertainty, both of our families are on edge and we have a 2 1/2 year old who doesn't know which way is up. I know that the outlook at the moment is fairly positive and I am desperately trying but it's always at the back of my mind and you can't hide a huge bump from people. Sorry I had to get that off my chest X

KateRaeganandMichael Wed 23-May-12 20:08:22

Also, completely forgot hellswelshy and twinnies26, what kind of dressing did you have over your wound? How long before you were healed? I am really paranoid about it and I keep thinking there is a huge hole (under the star shaped dressing) that I could touch the babies through. I have been cleaning around it with cooled boiled water so far.

londonmum123 Wed 23-May-12 20:35:11

Hello again, I'm thrilled the surgery went well and both babies survived. That is such fantastic news - it's made me well up. Thanks so much for the update.

I'm not surprised you are feeling all out of sorts, you haven't had the easiest pregnancy (bit of an understatement). Fingers crossed that the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly - it sounds like your little ones are fighters. All the best and please keep us updated xx

KateRaeganandMichael Sat 02-Jun-12 11:14:22

Just so that you know, unfortunately on 25/5/12 my waters broke and I wasn't admitted to the antenatal department (for whatever reason) until 28/5/12. They initially thought that there was a chance that my waters could repair with strict bedrest but unfortunately it was too late. We went down for a scan 30/5/12 and we were told that our little baby (Nathan) had no chance at all being born at this gestation and our bigger baby (Stanley) (we changed their names) had heart failure.
Labour had to be induced, 31/5/12 and it lasted 5 and a half hours. Nathan was born first at 8:11pm Stanley at 8:40, they were both born sleeping.
We are having a cremation for them soon and I am planning on doing something to help ttts charities, but I have no idea what at the moment as it is still so raw.

Im sorry I have had to put this up here but if this post can help anyone then it will help me to feel a little better.

Nathan Jarett Redford
Birth time: 20:11
Weight: 340g
Length: 25cm
HC: 15cm
Gestational age: 22 weeks + 2 days

Stanley Christopher Redford
Birth time: 20:40
Weight: 420g
Length: 27cm
HC: 17cm
Gestational age: 22 weeks + 2 days.

frankie4 Sat 02-Jun-12 11:36:56

So sorry to hear about your devastating loss of Nathan and Stanley. I have nothing useful to say to you, but I wish you all the strength to get through the cremation and to start rebuilding your life. Hope you haves lots of future happiness and they will never be forgotten. Xx

Albaba Sat 02-Jun-12 15:13:45

Hi Kate, I have just read your post and wish to offer my sincere condolences to you and your family. I have being following your posts with interest having been in a similar situation myself last year. It was looking so positive after you had the surgery so I was gutted to read your post today. I know it's only words but I am really sorry and my thoughts are with you.

londonmum123 Sat 02-Jun-12 21:41:44

Hello Kate,

I'm so so sorry to hear your news. I cannot begin to imagine how you are feeling and I wish I could say something to offer some support.

Thank you for coming back on here and letting us know about Nathan and Stanley. My thoughts are with you and your family.


weblette Sat 02-Jun-12 21:51:02

Kate, so sorry to hear about your beautiful boys - what lovely names. Wishing you peace x

twinnies26 Sun 03-Jun-12 11:59:29

Oh Kate i haven't logged on in ages and was scanning through the posts i've missed and then saw your tragic news. I'm so sad for you, i can't imagine what you are going through. It was my greatest fear for 4months, i'm just so sad to read this awful news sad You and your family will be in our prayers tonight. xxx

KateRaeganandMichael Sun 03-Jun-12 23:04:01

This is a donation site for s.a.n.d.s in memory of my beautiful boys
Feel free to donate if you wish

LackaDAISYcal Mon 04-Jun-12 00:22:49

So sorry to hear about your tragic news sad

Cerubina Tue 05-Jun-12 21:31:53

Oh Kate, I'm just so, so sorry to read this. I can't imagine how you and your OH feel but it must be total devastation to lose your lovely boys in this way. I am never good with words in such situations, but I do hope that you are getting all the help and support you need to get through these dark days and that future times hold much more happiness for you. I can never believe life can be so cruel as when people lose their much-wanted babies. The hospital doesn't sound as if it responded appropriately??

Love and prayers for you and your beautiful, precious boys Nathan and Stanley. Xx

dubz Tue 05-Jun-12 22:40:49

I have noticed the thread title before but for the first time tonight read your posts. I'm so sorry to hear such sad news. My heart goes out to you and your family. I have no words of wisdom to offer, but there are some lovely supportive people on the berveamnet threads who might offer some experience and practical support.
much love to Stanley and Nathan, may they rest in peace

silverangel Wed 06-Jun-12 08:53:35

I am so sorry to hear that Stanley and Nathan didn't make it. I hope you and your family have good support in RL. Thinking of you all xxx

KateRaeganandMichael Sat 10-Nov-12 13:48:46

On 31/11/12 it will be exactly 6 months since this happened. Where has all this time gone?? My heart is still completely broken


KateRaeganandMichael Wed 14-Nov-12 10:18:34

Just realised there isn't a 31st this month. I feel even more silly.

Foxtailsoup Wed 14-Nov-12 14:25:57

KRM I don't have any words that will help, but wanted to say that I saw your new message and am thinking of you and your family. Life is impossibly hard sometimes. Someone said to me once that grieving is like being battered by the waves out at sea, you just have to trust that they'll wash you into the shore eventually. x

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