One to one time with your twins/triplets/more?
I remember thinking when I discovered I was pregnant with twins that organizing time with them individually - for me and DH - would be a priority. They are now 2.5 and have only spent time apart for doctor's appointments. When one of them was ill last week, we got a bit nervous trying to imagine what might happen if we had to keep him home and put the other one into nursery as usual. Thankfully he perked up and both went to nursery, but it has made me realise that they spend no time without the other one around.
But the idea of doing something with just one of them seems weird, and I'm sure it would be to them too - though they are hugely different personalities and ultimately would appreciate I think.
So, just wondering how much of an effort everyone else makes, and how difficult/worthwhile you have found it?
I have no experience of multiples, but did you watch the documentary on the Walton sextuplets a few weeks back? If I'm remembering it rightly, I think they had it on a rota at one point - 4 in nursery, 1 with dad, 1 with mum, so they all got individual time. I don't think it was every day but the way they were all talking about it sounded lovely!
I think it's extremely good for them to spend time apart, I realised how much when one of my dts went to his GM for the morning. He just didn't know what to do! They are 3 now and several times 1 has gone to nursery alone and was fine. And recently my girl twin went away for the weekend to other GMs, had a lovely time. They are individuals above being a twin. It's only weird because you haven't done it yet. Why can't you each take one for a few hours each weekend? They will probably love it. My 2 are quite close, share a room and take care of each other but seem very confident in themselves as individuals because they spend time apart.
I wouldn't say we make a huge effort but yes ours have spent time apart from one another. In part it was because ds2 was such a clingy, needy baby that I felt I needed to make sure ds1 had some 1:1 time with me to compensate, especially as they're getting to an age (17 months) when they really notice the presence of the other. They started nursery at ~14 months & ds2 ended up going alone for the first couple if days as ds1 wasn't't well. It took a while for him to settle in but I'm certain that would have been true anyway. We have occasionally done other stuff with one or other (shopping with grandma, car rides with daddy while the other stays with the other of us). Nice for them I think, but also feels so relaxed with only 1 to deal with. A friend does similar with her 4 boys. She & dh will take 2 each for trips / weekends away. Some people find that weird but I think it's lovely.
Agree that we havent made a huge effort either with our twin girls, 3 and half, as its just not possible most of the time. Saying that, when we get the chance, one of them will go with daddy and one will stay at home with me - and they love that time. I would say its beneficial if you can do it, but dont worry if you cant. I think as they get older it will happen more and more, but for the time being they love being around each other (most of the time) so I dont see it as much of an issue. Even if its only an hour, i think you will enjoy time with just one, and they will too.
Interesting point made by accessorisequeen that they are confident in themselves by time apart, I hadnt thought of it like that..definitely something to consider. As always, good to hear everyone elses experiences, thank goodness for this as dont have any other twin mum mates!!
We are faced with this issue at the moment. (Twin boys 20 months) One is poorly and doc has said to keep him home from creche which he is due to go to thurs and fri. Do i sent other twin? Also I may take tomorrow off work to look after poorly boy and send his brother to my sister (who is our other childcare) They have never been apart for longer than a couple of hours. After reading above posts I think twins are individuals first!
It's so nice for the kids and for the parents, too, if you can arrange it.
It always made myself and DH feel like being on holiday from the hullaballoo of having all 3 around. I think it would be more important for twins because they only have that one "other" - especially if there are no other siblings.
Get them used to it now would be my advice. Will you want to keep them in the same class in nursery/school?
Join the discussion
Please login first.