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Oh this is really tough at the moment

(10 Posts)
OpheliaBumps Mon 27-Jun-11 21:32:10

My twins are 22 months, and they are really hard work right now.

For the first time ever, today I found myself wondering why we'd gone through all the cycles of ivf shock sad

They fight and whinge at each other all the time, oh, apart from when they're plotting mischief together!

Today DTD had 2 time outs for squeezing the cat till he cried,and one for pulling her brother's hair till he cried. DTS had a time out for throwing food, and one for squeezing the cat as well (poor cat, he's 19 and very gentle with them, but they just won't learn to stroke not squeeze). The timeout upset DTS so much he then refused to eat his lunch.

They were both exhausted so they had a really long nap this afternoon, which means they didn't go to sleep until almost 9pm tonight (they went to bed at 7).

How did mums of older twins get through this phase? I do know it's only a phase, but it's sooo hard! I keep losing my temper and really shouting at them, then feeling guilty for shouting.

londonlottie Tue 28-Jun-11 08:57:30

Message withdrawn

MildredwithTwins Tue 28-Jun-11 13:20:37

Hi Ophelia,
You poor thing. It's really horrible when they play up like that.
I think you've done amazingly well to get to 22 months before wondering why you did it. I must have started those thoughts when clearing up the much from baby-led weaning - at about 10 months when "the messy stage" showed no sign of passing. My sanity has only returned since I went back to working.

I advise you to get them out of the house, as soon as possible. It's the only thing that works on ours.

My BGTs are only just 2, so I can't offer much in the way of future vision.....

Good luck

Mabelface Tue 28-Jun-11 13:24:48

Repeat ad nauseum "and this too shall pass", because it will. It's a case of batten down the hatches, pick your battles and wear the little buggers out as much as you possibly can. Do your absolute best not to shout, as it makes the whingeing worse. Just think, before you know it, you'll be where I am with hormonal 12 year olds.

Geepers Tue 28-Jun-11 13:29:16

22 months is very young to be doing timeout. Do they really understand it?

My twins are 17 months but are only just becoming mobile so I am still in the easy part but defiantly agree that spending as much time as possible out of the house when awake is what keeps us all sane.

OpheliaBumps Tue 28-Jun-11 20:59:19

Thanks Lottie, I think I'll order Toddler Taming, it sounds very useful!

How do you all manage with going out and about with twins? I find it really hard work, as soon as I let them off the reins they shoot off in different directions, or they both want to be carried rather than go in the buggy etc. I work 3 days a week, so have 2 days at home with them. We go to a group on one morning, but other than that we're at home (in the garden, or doing activities in the house) for the other day and a half.

Mildred I didn't do blw, I fed them until they wanted to have a go for themselves, that was still messy but not quite as bad as blw!

Madlizzy yes I've chanted the mum's mantra over and over to calm myself, it does help a bit grin

Geepers they are aware that they're being naughty, and they understand the concept of being excluded from the room for a minute as a result of their behaviour. We've only started doing time out over the last couple of weeks, their comprehension seems to have improved recently. They started to tell me if they/their twin was being naughty, so it seemed a good time to introduce timeouts.

MildredwithTwins Tue 28-Jun-11 21:41:06

Re: going out and about:
Mine are out at least once, and often twice a day. By 10am and usually 9.30, they are climbing the walls and being appalling, so we just have to get them out. They tend to be much better behaved outside.
We don't tend to carry them when the buggy is around. I remember them asking, but it didn't catch on. I think we just said no, I can't carry you, you're too heavy to carry, sit in the buggy. I expect we did a lot of being firm and ignoring the noise.
We have two tactics:
1. walk round to the back of the house (firmly holding hands) to a car free area by the river where they can just run around and explore as much as they like. (Our river is very well-fenced.) They don't often walk very far, but you can let them off the lead at least. I used to use reins for this, but haven't lately for some reason. In terms of keeping them together, distraction is the key, like playing peekaboo around lampposts, or hiding (briefly) and calling for them to find you.
2. stick them in the buggy, ignoring the noise if they protest, and take them to an open space, or swings and slides or duck-feeding pond. Are you worried about them injuring themselves in a play area?

Keep with it, though. We are suddenly enjoying being parents (sometimes) to some delightfully cute children who can now talk to us, sing songs and initiate things themselves. It's amazingly different from 4 months ago.

Best wishes,

SouthGoingZax Tue 28-Jun-11 21:44:38

Ophelia, are you me??/!!!

My DT boys are also 22 months. This morning, for the first time ever, I was glad to go out to work to escape the screaming and whining and general awfulness that is 22 month old twins on a bad day.
I also had fertility treatment to get them - and feel bad not to be 'enjoying' this stage - but am truing to repeat 'This too will pass"
<<gritted teeth>>

OpheliaBumps Fri 01-Jul-11 12:03:56

Mildred mine don't really behave much better outside. But still, I bit the bullet and we went out both morning and afternoon yesterday. They still played up, but it did seem a bit less traumatic, maybe just from all the reassurance on here!

Toddler Taming also arrived yesterday, it looks good so far, but I didn't get long to look at it, due to the twins stealing the book so they could look at the pictures grin.

Zax I bet there are loads of things about this stage that you are enjoying, but it's hard to focus on those with all the screaming! Are your boys talking? Mine (b/g) are talking much more clearly now and it's so funny to hear them using my words/phrases with each other, and how they can make each other laugh hysterically just by pulling faces or making silly noises grin

SouthGoingZax Sat 02-Jul-11 09:14:25

Oh yes, talking up a storm. My mum (who looks after them once a week) says "aren't we lucky" most times we sit down for a meal all together. Last week, at snack time, both boys had a satsuma. One looked at the other and said "aren't we lucky" - it was soooooo sweet.
You are right, I'm trying hard to capture (more photos) and focus on the nice bits -- and there are lots of them! grin

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