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Done to death I'm sure but first offensive comment on Saturday!

(24 Posts)
propercrimbo Mon 24-Jan-11 10:57:22

Went into a shop on Sat with my Mum, the lady who lives next door to her works there, she said 'oh congratulations' (absolutely gushing) to me. She said to her collegue oh proper is having twins.
She (complete stranger) looked at me and said 'oh my god, I bet you were mortified?'

I was so taken aback I sort of went, well no really, I'm really excited...

I have had all the usual 'rather you than me' 'oh my god', horror rather than being pleased for us and I know from reading some others experiences of this I am by no means alone but bloody hell!!

shock

FreudianSlippery Mon 24-Jan-11 11:00:16

It's purely a reflection on their own feelings - don't take it personally.

Whenever DH jokes about us ending up with twins I tell him to shut up! It's not because I don't like the idea, it's purely because I can't imagine being able to cope with two babies at once.

manicbmc Mon 24-Jan-11 11:03:06

Some people are just insensitive morons. On finding out I was having twins my ex mil said 'you'll never cope'! Then went on to say to one of my friends on the bus how concerned she was because I wasn't cut out to have one never mind two!

They are 16 now. Both have just about made it to adulthood.

JaxTellersOldLady Mon 24-Jan-11 11:03:31

I agree with freudian It is their feelings, dont let it bother you!

Congratulations grin

deemented Mon 24-Jan-11 11:05:29

On learning that one of my twin sons had died shortly after birth, an accquaintance said 'Oh well, maybe for the best - two babies are hard work'

hmm

deemented Mon 24-Jan-11 11:06:08

Oh and congratulations on your twins BTW grin

propercrimbo Mon 24-Jan-11 11:06:46

Ha thanks all, not really bothered just shocked as I have read loads of threads with some really awful comments but that was my first!

I'm sure they will get more obscure as it goes on!

Manic can't imagine how much pleasure it gave you for her to watch you cope!!

propercrimbo Mon 24-Jan-11 11:08:10

Oh my word Deemented thats unbelievable! wow, how rude! Sorry about that, must have been awful sad

manicbmc Mon 24-Jan-11 11:08:22

grin

Enjoy your lovely babies smile

PixieOnaLeaf Mon 24-Jan-11 11:11:45

Message withdrawn

Chesticles Mon 24-Jan-11 12:14:51

I can cope with "Twins- I bet you were shocked" but mortified is a bit much! It's very difficult, I must admit I was a bit "oh crap" when I found out but it was just the shock, once it sunk it I was very pleased, so I suppose other people react similarly. Just wait til you get the " are they natural or IVF" question. The only responce to which is "No they are not natural, they are made from plastercine, can't you tell?"

Congratulations on the twin preg. And enjoy the double hormones!

OpheliaBumps Mon 24-Jan-11 14:03:24

Dee how awful, I hope that's an ex-acqaintance now?

Proper - people do say some stupid things, but 'mortified' is pretty bad. I got a lot of 'that musy have been a shock' - I tend to say truthfully 'No, it was a dream come true after several failed ivf attempts' and smile sweetly.

Chesticles I can't wait to be asked if they're natural - I've been ready to roll out the 'plasticine' line for nearly 18 months now!

FreudianSlippery Mon 24-Jan-11 16:16:48

OMG dee! That's so awful. angry that may be the most insensitive comment I've ever read about.

OTOH I am PMSL at 'made of plasticine'

ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak Mon 24-Jan-11 16:28:01

How incredibly rude?! Surely you take your cue from how it's being announced? If the Mum looks happy then you say 'How exciting' if she looks like someone just wee'd in her packet of crisps you might say something like 'Oh I bet that was a bit of a suprise but I'm sure it will be lovely '

What you don't say is 'How mortifying'?

Dee- I still can't believe someone would say that, it's just so beyond normal foot in mouth it's untrue.

Chesticles Mon 24-Jan-11 21:07:19

Sorry Dee, missed your post, that was horribly insensitive of that person shock. I've heard of something similar where someone said, nevermind you still have one shock shock which is awful sad. My heart goes out to you, I can't believe what you must have gone through loosing one.

Thanks for the plasticine spelling corrections everyone blush

Jellibob Mon 24-Jan-11 21:20:12

GP asked me how mine were conceived - the answer is not "gosh, well, nice meal, bottle of wine and then one thing led to another..."

Fandangos Sun 19-Jun-11 09:52:04

Upon being told that I'm having twins, a friend's Mum said, "well that's just greedy", which I thought was mildly humorous, then she went on to say, "or just plain madness"! As if I thought, "I'm just gonna go crazy and fertilise 2 of my eggs, just to see what happens"! It's not something you have any control over!

She also asked how my 3 and a half year old DD reacted to the news and I said, really positively, "She's really excited and will be a little mother hen", to which the woman replied, "yeah, until she has to listen to 2 squalling babies"! I agree with ChippingIn, if the mother seems positive, it's just nasty to try to bring her down with negative comments.

kktpj Sun 19-Jun-11 10:13:57

i once said i know i'm sending one back
that shut them up

PrincessScrumpy Fri 24-Jun-11 19:20:14

I had someone who kept asking "but what will you do!?" I told them I was going to pick my favourite and leave the other one at the hospital! As if - Like kktpj, it shut them up and I think they realised how stupid their comments were.

Today someone said "double trouble" - with a smile and then said "is that the right thing to say?" I smiled and said "double the cuddles!" - he liked that one and I think I'll stick to using it. Most people know I'm having twins so the "shocked" reactions are less regular. Everyone is saying I'm very calm about it but I'm not sure how they expect me to be. I feel really blessed, baffled and a little apprehensive (but I think I would be even if it was a single pg as it will change our family - with one dd I do still get some time to myself).

londonlottie Sat 25-Jun-11 00:14:24

Message withdrawn

CoffeeDog Tue 12-Jul-11 16:06:36

When i told my mum she cried (not happy tears) for 1/2 an hour then demanded to know how we would cope.....

I wouldn't have taken it so personally except I AM A TWIN myself so thought i could at least turn to her for help!!!

Just smile nod and hug both your babies (Mine have just started saying 'love you mummy' followed by a giant hug ;)

PeelingmyselfofftheCeiling Thu 14-Jul-11 15:42:44

MY MIL met our godson the other day, and while holding him looked at me and said 'Gosh, two, can you imagine. How on earth are you going to cope?'.

Properly pissed off not only because a) she's spent the past 3 months telling us how much help she'll be, and b) because I was literally just back from my 20 week scan and finally starting to allow myself to believe I might actually have two babies!

and c) because our godson is a little angel and 2 of them actually doesn't seem that scary! but I know i shall live to regret that sentiment

holidays2010 Thu 14-Jul-11 17:10:25

LOL Jellibob! :D

Today i walked out of Starbucks with coffee in one hand, pushing the double buggy with the other (easier than it sounds and probably looks) when a woman with her friends said 'i'd be walking to a pub if that was me!' ...

PrincessScrumpy Sun 17-Jul-11 15:29:26

Not sure this counts as offensive, just plain stupid. I was asked recently by a stranger "oooh, were you and dh trying for twins?!" confused

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