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Its important to have a positive self image.

(7 Posts)
MUM2BLESS Tue 22-Jun-10 14:33:09

When I first joined mumsnet I noticed the question are mixed race people black. Recently I noticed that this talk is still running.

I would say that mix race (dual heritage) are mixed race.

If you are of dual heritage or have dual heritage children is there a balance in the awareness of the race of both parents?

Two examples:

My nephrew was brought up by his mother,who is white. (white area) I was told that at school he used to fight when called names. He found this very hard to deal with.

my husband knows a woman who is of dual heritage who has a white mother and black african father. Brought up by her mother. She does not see herself as black and does not really associate with black people.

I think a lot of people see dual heritage (black and white as black), no matter what shade of skin tone they may have.

I think it is very important to teach dual heritage children to be proud of who they are. It is also important that if black and white that they are positive about the black parent. We live in a society where black is seen as being negative.

I am a black person who is very positive about my colour. I respect people of differnet races. I live in a multicutural area where my kids have friends of various races.

Please note I am not knocking the race of the parents I am just saying that the children should respect and be aware of the race of both parents.

Any feedback on this.....

EldritchCleavage Tue 22-Jun-10 15:20:43

Completely agree with you, with one proviso:
I'm not sure anyone needs to feel proud of who they are in that sense. I don't.

I am of mixed parentage (was on the end of the other thread) and very in touch with both sides of my identity (brought up in both countries by both parents, parents still happily married). Neither of my parents would say they were proud of their race or nationality, I suspect, and I'm the same. I love both countries, but having a connection with them is an accident of birth and not something that needs validation.

I rather think the pride message, though understandable historically, encourages an unfortunate tendency to feel good about oneself by feeling others are less good. Or, it is something some people are encouraged to feel but that the majority population is discouraged from feeling or expressing, which leads to a backlash.

Put it this way, it is no more significant than gender, but how many of us feel pride about that?

Surely all we need to feel is that who we are racially or in terms of nationality is ok, normal, valid and as worthwhile as anyone else's identity.

I mention it because I am so often encouraged to feel proud of my African heritage but never allowed to feel proud of my European heritage. Don't know why it's ok to revere one parent and feel ambivalent about the other, on grounds of race but lots of people seem happy to urge mixed race/dual heritage people to think like this.

MUM2BLESS Tue 22-Jun-10 19:06:57

Hi EldritchCleavage

I am happy with myself as a black woman. I do not however feel its make me better than another race, or another race is better than me.

Over the years black has been portrayed as negative, take a look in the dictionary. I however will not run with this. In that sense I am proud of my colour. Not in a better than you way..

Even within the black race many see lightness of colour as being beautiful. That is so shallow. Beauty goes beyond your skin colour, eye colour and hair colour.

Its about being positive about myself and respecting that everyone is not the same as me.

Chatelaine Sun 27-Jun-10 23:39:52

I'm with EldritchCleavage on this. I will add that a person's character and conduct are what I would judge an individual on, the colour of their skin is irrelevant.

ZoeyNZsaZsa Sat 04-Dec-10 16:34:38

ive recently had a mixed race daughter and although i was shamed by some people in my area for having a relationship with a much older jamaican man he was 46 an me 22 it didnt bother me as i was proud of our relationship early into our relationship i fell pregnant and was so excited i had a good pregnancy until the last few weeks i fell ill and had 2 go into hospital and the man that everyone said would break my heart and would cheat and leave stayed by my side. i came home from hospital a day later i was back in only i was in labour i had a difficult labour an he stayed by my side we came home the next day with our beautiful daughter only he seemed different and was gnasty to me he then said sorry and we let it go. two and a half perfect weeks later he lashed out again and attacked me while i was holding my daughter and tryed to take her and if i stopped him he would kill me. only a week later i find myself missing him an wanting my family back together but that will not happen but im concerend for my baby as she has no father and as she is mixed race i dont no how to do her hair or do whats best for her. im starting to struggle and have nobody to help?

ZeroMistletoeZeroTinsel Mon 06-Dec-10 07:53:42

Zoey have you much in the way of support from the rest of your family? And have you read any of the threads in the relationship forum? There are plenty of women with similar troubles in there.

ZeroMistletoeZeroTinsel Mon 06-Dec-10 07:53:42

Zoey have you much in the way of support from the rest of your family? And have you read any of the threads in the relationship forum? There are plenty of women with similar troubles in there.

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