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5 year old mixed race daughter. When shld I talk to her about being mixed race and what should I say

(8 Posts)
designergirl Thu 13-Aug-09 16:11:36

That's about it really.

nickschick Thu 13-Aug-09 16:14:24

I dont if i would tbh,just let things go naturally.

FranSanDisco Thu 13-Aug-09 16:21:28

Has she ever asked why mummy and daddy are different for instance? My dc's went to very ethcially diverse nurseries and for a time colour of skin became obsessive. We are white but dd talk about all her friends as light brown, dark brown and pink. She's 8 yo now and is oblivious to skin but does covert curly hair. To answer your orignal question I would raise it when she starts the questions.

designergirl Sat 15-Aug-09 20:29:26

She hasn't asked why we are different, but she knows that Daddy is Indian and Mummy is English.

HecatesTwopenceworth Sat 15-Aug-09 20:36:16

Why do you feel it's something you need to raise with her?

Mine are mixed race (white/black) and I have to say it's never crossed my mind to sit them down and explain this to them.

ds1, who is now 10, has just started asking me things about colour and we answer his questions. I think that's really all that's needed. When he asked if daddy was chocolate grin - I blame the lynx ads! - we just said that his dad is from Kenya and that different people have different coloured skin. No big deal.

I think sitting her down and making a special effort to explain her colour to her makes an issue out of nothing.

pinkmagic1 Mon 17-Aug-09 13:46:35

Agree, you shouldn't make an issue of it, especially if she hasn't raised the subject herself.
My kids are mixed, half white British and half Arab and it has never been an issue so far. My eldest is 5 and he has never asked questions with regards to skin colour. He knows people from different countries are different colours and just excepts thats how things are. Daddy is Egyptian colour and others are Jamaican colour etc, etc! Don't make an issue over something that really shouldn't be an issue.
If she is asking questions or being bullied than this would be a different matter of course.

lynniep Mon 17-Aug-09 13:58:26

I agree with previous posters - if she asks then fine. If not, well she's either figured it out herself or she isnt that bothered. Kids tend to just accept things the way they are.

I was never interested in the fact that I was mixed race - it didnt really cross my mind. It wasnt particularly common where I lived when I was little either.

In think I only ever got called a name once (called a chinky) when I was about 6 - that was the only time I ever asked about it. My nana told my dad who got out a map and explained that my mum came from Thailand and they look a bit different there and sometimes people dont understand why other people look different so call them stuff etc etc....

Oh no - I tell a lie - I got called a paki when I was about 19 by some lads who went past on a bus. I just thought this was amusing actually (being half english half thai) Duh!!

StopTalkingAndEatYourDinner Mon 17-Aug-09 14:13:01

My DC's are mixed race (white/black) DS still little but have always just mentioned the term mixed race in passing to DD and explained that it is the term for when mummies and daddies are different colours.
Didn't sit down for a big chat but just made sure she understood the term through general chit chat about all sorts of things (DD - look that girl has curly hair like me mummy! Me - yep, thats because she is mixed race like you, aren't you lucky to have such lovely curls etc!!)
She is just about to start school and felt she should have an understanding of the vocabulary involved and be equipped to answer questions from other children about why her hair is curly/skin is brown/mummy and daddy are different colours etc.
I disagree that you should just wait until she asks, you don't need to make a big thing out of it (but then I have the same approach to sex education too and I know that horrifies some people! grin) i reckon if you just chat about things in a general sense they are less likely to feel like a big deal.

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