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Looking for west Indian and african parents

(16 Posts)
Tanyab3 Sat 25-Apr-09 01:40:04

Hi, Im born in london with a wet Indian background.

I'd like to get to know any mums to start a group for activites or just to meet up to go to parks and have a coffe with.

A picnic would be great, I love good food, also a lover for the arts.

I like jazz funk, rare groove, roots music. That may give my age away at 37.

My new born is 4 months, a baby boy.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Tanyab3 Sat 25-Apr-09 01:40:51

Hi, Im born in london with a west Indian background.

I'd like to get to know any mums to start a group for activites or just to meet up to go to parks and have a coffe with.

A picnic would be great, I love good food, also a lover for the arts.

I like jazz funk, rare groove, roots music. That may give my age away at 37.

My new born is 4 months, a baby boy.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Nezzi Sat 25-Apr-09 20:55:47

Interesting request.

Why only West Indian or African parents?

I am the same age as you, I like similar music to you & I love picnics. In fact I went for a lovely picnic last weekend, my group consisted of 3 couples; 1 black British, 1 Asian British, 1 Chinese British, 2 white British & 1 white Scandanavian.
We had a lovely time.
Why so segregationist?

Tanyab3 Sat 25-Apr-09 23:21:29

Hi,

I do have many multi cultral friends, I love a wide varity, its not about the colour.

`I will re-write my thread as Id like to get to know more mothers just not had much luck in Fulham.

Where do you live, are you local?

MPearl Sun 26-Apr-09 00:38:47

Tanyab - I think I know what you mean - I live in east midlands & although I have a variety of friends, I would love to meet more african/carribean parents that I may share more of a common interest with..

Nezzi Sun 26-Apr-09 22:59:18

Sorry no, I'm up north.
It can be hard meeting new people when you've just had a baby, did you meet anybody at ante-natal classes?

Tanyab3 Sun 26-Apr-09 23:38:31

Hi,

I didnt manage to go to antenatl class, in london it was so over crowded.

I was working while i wasw pregant, i became very tired during pregamcey and working, also there were onle 2 date for antentl and I missed both.

At the time I was suffering from eperlipsy, for some reason this was only brought on due to pregncey hormones, Im fine now but at the time was also a bit worried incase I had a sezuire.

I live in SW6 Fulham which has a lot of white middleclass mothers, that have nannys, lots of private schools.

Although in my job I work ion london and find peoople prvate schools for there children, but going to mother and baby groups im always the only black mother in the group. Its not a problem but it would be nice for it be more mixed. There is another group I go to its a bit more mixeed.

Ity takes time I guess, my son is 4 monnths old.

Starbear Mon 27-Apr-09 09:20:28

Tanyab3 All my new mummy friends (my son is 4years old now) come from different groups. I'll go through the list so you can see.
Old neighbour who moved but has two boys older than mine but play well together.
2 from nursery but their kids no longer go to nursery
1 from nursery still that we go to gymtastics with.
Friend of a friend who I knew before but we became closer when our sons were boy a month apart.
2-3 from church that my DH & Ds attends (I'm not Christian)
new neighbours on both sides have just had baby's and one has a step daughter 2 years older (but they love playing together when she is around)
AND old friends please don't forget them.
When the baby is very little you'll find it hard. That will soon change.

Rindercella Mon 27-Apr-09 09:36:30

I agree with Starbear. I found there was so much pressure/expectation (mostly set by me probably) to be out & about as soon as DD was born, to get socialising, get to the M&T groups, make loads of new friends, etc. It is actually only now - DD is 20 months - that I feel I have made some real 'mummy' friends.

The first few months of your child's life can feel so isolating. You can feel that everyone else knows each other and that you will never find someone to share common ground with.

I can imagine this being even more compounded by being in such a 'white middle class' area as Fulham. You may well have to travel a bit further to find a more socially mixed group. I'm in a mixed marriage (I'm white, DH is black British). Afraid I'm not much help though - live out in the country (although sil lives in Peckham Rye, which is fab grin).

You sound lovely. Good luck & enjoy your time alone with your DS grin

Nezzi Mon 27-Apr-09 11:19:40

I can relate to what you have said.
I have never met another black mum at any of the groups I have been to even though I live in a very mixed area.
A midwife I spoke to soon after my son was born said Surestart was a great scheme but agreed that in the area I live it is dominated by white middle class mums. They all seem to know each other too which I have never figured out & can be very cliquish (sp?) It can be very intimidating.
Make all the friends that you can, they are invaluable & as Starbear said, remember your old friends & try to make time to see them. They keep you sane smile
It does get easier too!

Tanyab3 Tue 28-Apr-09 00:06:24

Hi Nezzi

Many thanks, today was better. Still no black girls buta nice mix of other cultures. One chinse girl who was nice, and one musulim women but she had a group to join, but today they were less middeclass.

My old friends are great but dont have kids there single and still looking for mr right.

I guess it takes time. I will soon start to check other groups, like what starbear said that was great adivce.

what area are you guys from?

Tanyab3 Tue 28-Apr-09 00:15:45

Rindercella,

Thanks for your response it sounds great, I am thinking of moving out of london soon, to the country side, well hartfordshire or bedforshire.

Im a proud londoner but some people in london can be a bit snobby at times.

Nezzi Tue 28-Apr-09 09:46:58

They're no less snobby in Manchester unfortunately.

Tanyab3 Tue 28-Apr-09 12:32:32

Rindercella,

Thanks for your response it sounds great, I am thinking of moving out of london soon, to the country side, well hartfordshire or bedforshire.

Im a proud londoner but some people in london can be a bit snobby at times. my friends are multicultral.

But i will continue lookling,

Starbear Wed 29-Apr-09 07:50:45

Tanyab3 Only work in Wandsworth which would just be over the river. Sadly, I don't live there. I could come up town to say Hi one day with my lad but warn you now I'm not black just mixed up asia. More than happy to make a new friend smile

onomski Wed 11-Nov-09 12:32:45

Hi,
Abit late I know but I've just seen this post. I can totally relate to your post. I had a second baby 4 months ago and all the mother and baby groups I go to, I seem to be the only black person, its not a problem and the people there are always friendly, I'd just wish there were some similar faces there who have similar backgrounds, food, culture etc. I often wonder what do my fellow black mums do with their babies???

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