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All people see is the colour of his skin.

(28 Posts)
sleepycat Mon 07-Jul-08 21:25:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Saymyname Mon 07-Jul-08 21:26:48

Wankers.

No idea of the answers to any of your questions, sorry.

Am very sad to hear about this though.

suwoo Mon 07-Jul-08 21:26:56

Twats! narrow minded twats at that. Have some wine, I've got some you can share.

sleepycat Mon 07-Jul-08 21:29:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

choccypig Mon 07-Jul-08 21:33:41

I get similar comments from people who've not met DS before. His Dad is half African, and DS takes a tan at the flick of a light switch. Skin colour aside, he looks nothing like me anyway. Being an older Mum as well, I think lots of people think I stole adopted him grin

However, I do think you get a lot of similar comments if you have a child with red hair, or anything that is obviously different to your own looks. My DS is incredibly gorgeous, and I usually take all comments as compliments.

choccypig Mon 07-Jul-08 21:33:42

I get similar comments from people who've not met DS before. His Dad is half African, and DS takes a tan at the flick of a light switch. Skin colour aside, he looks nothing like me anyway. Being an older Mum as well, I think lots of people think I stole adopted him grin

However, I do think you get a lot of similar comments if you have a child with red hair, or anything that is obviously different to your own looks. My DS is incredibly gorgeous, and I usually take all comments as compliments.

Troutpout Mon 07-Jul-08 21:34:31

probably yes
'Other' is good though...if it means other from narrow minded twats

auntymandy Mon 07-Jul-08 21:34:56

i cant believe people actually ask those questions. i know lots of mixed heritage children and would never question it.
on a liter(i hope) note. DS saw a dark child once with a white mummy and asked how that could be so i explained.. he thought a while then asked me to have a dark baby!!!!
do you think dh would mind.. I mean anything for the children!!!

choccypig Mon 07-Jul-08 21:35:20

Yeah, the funny thing is, you do usually have to explain it twice.

choccypig Mon 07-Jul-08 21:35:52

Yeah, the funny thing is, you do usually have to explain it twice.

suwoo Mon 07-Jul-08 21:37:51

I get comments about DS's lack of hair, isn't he small, hasn't he got a small head and even isn't he chunky...err no?!

So what I am saying is that people always feel the need to comment and have these mad compulsions to do so particularly if something is perceived as 'different'. They are narrow minded bigoted freaks that you need to stop worrying about. I'll do a toast to you instead with my yummy wine envy

3timer Tue 08-Jul-08 02:00:53

Hey guys!! I have 3 mixed race, (dh African, Im Irish) and in the last 7 years I have had none, zero, 0, zilch comments on my children!! Maybe Im lucky? I dont know.. I live in Dublin and it has never ever been an issue....Where about do you guys live?
I find it so easy going here, people love my kids and only comment good things.

My children are brought up to be damn proud of their Irish heritage and know how hard it was for us to get to this point. I also want them to be proud of their African heritage, but their dad isnt so keen(Proud) of where he is from.
But you know what, they are comfy in their own skin and would be well prepared for someone less educated to ask where they are from.....

I say less educated because it is what I believe, all racism and ignorance is curable through education, not that people who ask these questions are racist, they just need to be educated..........xx

PlinkyPonk Tue 08-Jul-08 14:55:47

I used to get alot of comments my dd is very fair with blonde hair and blue eyes. I am mixed race although I do have light skin it is clearly not light enough to stop people thinking they have a right to ask if she is mine!

I have stopped letting it bother me as I am sure that my dd saw that it was upsetting me and would in turn be upset but not know why! I dont want her to be uncomfortable so changed my attitude and when people (very very rarely now) ask I say very loudly 'OF course she is mine!' this tends to put them on the back foot!

I also make a point of being seen at all the kids activities and make friends with as many people as possible so that (its a small town) my dd feel included rather than an outsider and proud of her family & heritage.

People will always think and sometimes say horrible things so yep 3timer I agree with your point that if our children are comfortable in their own skin then they will be able to handle it...and IT will come because some people are just ignorant and rude sad!

sarah293 Tue 08-Jul-08 15:01:17

Message withdrawn

MissM Tue 08-Jul-08 19:26:22

You know what sleepycat, people don't just do it with kids. I'm Jewish, with curly hair and have olivey skin, and I'm always being asked where I'm from. People ask if I'm Spanish, Italian, south American, Polish (?). My DCs are mixed race but not as dark as their father - more my colouring - so people often do a polite double-take when they meet him. So you can't win.

Am trying to think of witty reposte for you Riven but brain too babied.

harpomarx Tue 08-Jul-08 22:09:38

hmmm

is attention always negative? Clearly there are stupid questions that people ask about people/children they perceive as being different ('do you go darker in the sun?' 'can I touch your hair?' to black people for example). However, isn't it also interesting to know about people's backgrounds? I don't feel offended when people ask about dd's family (I am white, her dad is black, family from Jamaica). If I met you, Sleepycat, I might also be interested in your ds's South American family - would you always perceive a question about it to mean that people only see the colour of his skin?

just curious really - incidentally, MissM, I get asked similar questions to you sometimes (also got Jewish family), it doesn't particularly bother me.

sleepycat Wed 09-Jul-08 09:57:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Figfingers Wed 09-Jul-08 14:53:47

Ignorant people..

I feel for you Sleepy. I haven´t got DCs yet, but I am very dark olive skinned and my DP is very fair, blond, blue-eyed and freckly.

It doesn´t help that we live in the most backward part of Spain and always get looks of utter disgust when we go out.

I am over it now and actually quite enjoy their confusion..LOL..

< evil cackle>

xica Wed 09-Jul-08 15:27:15

do people actually say that, sleepycat? shock

that really is shocking, I would probably punch someone's lights out if they said that to dd...

KerryMum Wed 09-Jul-08 15:28:09

"what is he"?

omfg people really say that?

DeeRiguer Wed 09-Jul-08 15:32:35

shock
what is he/she?
i cant believe people really say this?
i would say human the cheeky feckers

suzywong Wed 09-Jul-08 15:36:58

don't worry about it
toddlers groups are full of spaced out nutty stressed sleep deprived women, we've all been there.

ask people outright what ethnic background mixed race kids have as I am genuinely interested and nosy and I think they are BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!! And I want to show off my beautiful children and also .. and this can sound soooo middleclasspatronising but `i do it anyway .... that it's a thing to be proud of and it is special to be a multicultural family.

Got any pics? smile

littleducks Wed 09-Jul-08 15:44:43

dd is a spitting image of me

sometimes i see people looking at her with dh, in a kind of memorise his features for if a missing child poster goes up way

as for "what is he?" just look totally blank and say "I can't believe you just said that, how rude"

xica Wed 09-Jul-08 15:46:26

I have a special way of saying 'sorry?' that I reserve for dealing with obnoxious questions like this. It is designed to reduce the asker to a quivering, apologetic wreck wink

Kewcumber Wed 09-Jul-08 15:48:21

does it work?

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