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a question for muslim mums and other mums xx

(55 Posts)
nikcola Sat 22-Jan-05 20:46:58

dp is muslim (pakistani) im english and we have a 3yo dd,
my moms friend bought dd a piglet pilow/pajamma case and dp has gone mad saying that if he sees her play with it or any of his family see it then he will throw it away me dd have never eaten pork (not for 6 years) but surellly a teddy bear doesnt matter , what do you think is he being unreasnable or am i

lockets Sat 22-Jan-05 20:51:33

Message withdrawn

zebra Sat 22-Jan-05 20:53:17

Yeah, I think that is the reaction that most Muslim people would have. Pigs are just considered ultra-disgusting & dirty.

nikcola Sat 22-Jan-05 20:54:01

it doesnt even look like a pic its just a round pink coushion with ears and a face- yeh she watches whinnie the pooh

nikcola Sat 22-Jan-05 21:04:12

anymore xx

lockets Sat 22-Jan-05 21:14:42

Message withdrawn

Meid Sat 22-Jan-05 21:26:10

My DH is Muslim and when DD was newborn someone bought her one of those playnests and it had a big on it. He was quite distressed.

Since then I've reasoned with him that as she is being brought up in this country it will be very unfair to deny each and every thing with pigs on.

As an example, I pointed out that when she starts school she'll probably have a trip to a farm and it would be ridiculous to suggest she could see all animals except pigs!

Anyway, over time (DD is now 3.5 yrs) he has totally mellowed and now has no problem with her having pig play things or farm visits etc.

Obviously we don't eat pork but other pig issues have been dealt with.

Meid Sat 22-Jan-05 21:27:47

The playnest had a 'pig' on it - not a 'big'. That was obvious really but thought I'd just bring attention to my typing error!! Will read through next time before posting.

fairyfly Sat 22-Jan-05 21:34:17

I'm reading this and really intrigued, could someone explain to me the reasons behind such a tough stance. I don't understand it and would love to see it from the point of view of someone who feels strongly enough to throw out a childrens toy.

nikcola Sat 22-Jan-05 23:28:19

dp is such a stouborn bloke but dd still has her pillow i really dont think it matters its only a toy but he obviously thinks diffrent

weightwatchingwaterwitch Sat 22-Jan-05 23:31:28

Nikcola, I really don't know that your p gets any say in this stuff, he's married (isn't he? Or didn't it happen?) to someone else, he doesn't support you financially, he's horrible to you, I don't see where he earned the right to be fully involved and have a say in things like this. Sorry if you think that's harsh, maybe I'm out of date and your circumstances have changed?

weightwatchingwaterwitch Sat 22-Jan-05 23:32:24

And his family don't recognise your dd either do they iirc? So I don't see that they get any say either.

fairyfly Sat 22-Jan-05 23:34:02

All i know is that i have very strong feelings about my religion sometimes, but find this case slightly extreme. I never want to show disrespect for someones beliefs though so cant really comment, if it is upsetting to someone then thats the way it is.
Just don't understan, AT ALL.

tjgx Sat 22-Jan-05 23:37:45

Hi all...i was married 2 a muslim man...if any1 wants any advice...you can email me tshowoff@aol.com...

nikcola Sun 23-Jan-05 09:26:34

yes he got married but we are still together hes not exactly living with his wife shes on the other side of the world he doesnt even speak to her, hes not all that bad and i let him have a say in dds life because he is her dad he will allways be her dad no matter what goes on between me and him,

as for his family thats another story they are still rasist and nasty and dd is begining to notice it xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

fuzzywuzzy Sun 23-Jan-05 10:05:15

Stuffed toys are fine, we just don't use any products made from pig. Surely the toy isn't actually made of pig skin?? Tell your dp to get a Fatwa from a trusted muslim cleric (that ought to shut him up).
Oh and this dp would be the same drinking, steroid taking, married dp yes???? Ask him about those particular points in Islam too whilst your at it.
Goodness what a fuss, I quite like winnie the pooh and friends......

galaxy Sun 23-Jan-05 10:07:21

Nickola, as much as I have respect for an individual's religious beliefs, I think this is extreme and non-sensical. Tell him to get over it.

galaxy Sun 23-Jan-05 10:07:39

sorry, Nikcola of course

nikcola Sun 23-Jan-05 11:28:59

he is such a prat i really am sick of him today he isnt talking to me because i wont marry him his sister wants us to get married why the fuck should we get married just cause she wants us to ! they didnt listen to me when i was begging him not th get on the plane to get married though did they

fairyfly Sun 23-Jan-05 11:31:56

How can you marry him?

nikcola Sun 23-Jan-05 11:32:46

he is only married to her the islamic way apparently its not recognised over here or i will make him get a divorce

lowcalCOD Sun 23-Jan-05 11:34:57

is he giving you any money yet?

nikcola Sun 23-Jan-05 11:35:09

yes

fairyfly Sun 23-Jan-05 11:36:53

So what was the point of it all, he has put you through so much pain. Don't marry him he is on a power trip and wants to control you. As much as you feel for him he pushes you to the side and thinks life is based around his wants and needs and rules, What about yours? Lets put this into perspective he leaves you for another women treats you like dirt and you get in trouble because there is a cuddly pig in the house. The balance is disgusting.

nikcola Sun 23-Jan-05 11:37:37

he didnt leave me he was made to marry her but i see what you mean x

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