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am i being overly sensitive ???

(5 Posts)
satc Sun 23-Sep-07 15:56:37

Am I am being overly sensitive or is there something here. I am chinese and dh is english, we have been married for over 5 years. I get along fine with my PIL, his bro & wife. Every Christmas without fail I’ll get a book from my sil and the theme of these books are always abt the lives of migrants - she has given me white teeth, brick lane, wild swan, to name a few.

I am beginning to feel that it’s how she sees me, it’s like I have no other interest and she does not see me beyond my colour. Don’t get me wrong, I liked all the books and they are all good read but they do all seem to have a similar theme/story line.

Do you think that she does not see me beyond the fact that I am of a different race than her? I do feel that she has somehow pigeon-holed me in a category/type and that’s all I am. Now I just can’t wait to see what book she’s giving me this Christmas !!

Heated Sun 23-Sep-07 16:02:13

Time to select a book & return the favour methinks! Now what would be appropriate...?

Cancerian Sun 23-Sep-07 20:40:52

LOL, sorry not laughing at you but I, too would also think there was a common theme here. You know I think she is well meaning and often people just get it wrong. I am black british and for some reason sometimes I would get people or other origins start telling me they like reggae and rap music. Or can I dance like beyonce? My thoughts are that is rather nice for you,but why do you feel you need to tell me or why would I be able to dance like beyonce?. The answer is sometimes as you suspect it is about non-acceptance. I agree they don't view you other than a colour/origin first, and like my example the books is a means of saying I can identify with you and your people. Words fail is just simply painful and cringe worthy!

Rachmumoftwo Sun 23-Sep-07 20:55:03

Why not do a Christmas list and show it to her under the pretence of asking her to drop a few hints to your DH. This way she may get you something from the list instead. She probably just doesn't have a clue what to get you and means well.

satc Mon 24-Sep-07 14:31:29

thanks for all your input, yes i am sure she means well but the recurring common theme is just so annoying hmm

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