Birthday party

[Min23]

Hi everyone,
I am new to this . I need some suggestions . My daughter's classmate friend is having a birthday party and she invited the whole class except my daughter. My daughter has never had any trouble in school with other kids. But I think I am not a very social parent and I don't know whether she is left out because of me. May be they don't like me or may be they don't think that me and my daughter is not a good influence on them . I am a very shy person and I avoid talking but I am not a rude person. Please help me what should I do ? Is it may be because I am from indian background? I know that parents organize limited persons birthday party and I can totally understand in that case my daughter is not being invited. But this time she is the only one in the whole class left out . What should I do ?

[memaymamo]

That's horrible. It could be for any number of reasons, and I'm really sorry for you and your daughter.

Can you ask your daughter who she'd like to invite for a play date and start getting to know mums that way?

[Min23]

Thank you for reply. I will ask my daughter about play date . Is it normal to not invite only one kid ? Do you think it's something personal? I have no idea what happened.

[gingerbread88]

Hi,
Really sorry to hear this and no I don't think that's normal or right.
Are you sure the whole class except for your daughter has been invited? If so, surely there's a mistake as no one would be that cruel (I hope!)
I feel bad for you and your daughter.
Going forward, I think it would be a good idea to help her to nurture some friendships by hosting a play date.
You don't have to be 'in' with some mummy group but maybe having some friends at the school gate may help.
It's tricky if you can't ask anyone regarding the invite to the party, I'd hope it isn't down to your heritage, that would make the situation even worse.
Thinking if you

[LovePoppy]

I’m so sorry
That’s so sad

[memaymamo]

It's definitely not normal to exclude one child. That's really mean behaviour, if it was intentional.

How do you know that she was the only one not invited?

[Min23]

One of the other mom heard it from her daughter and the birthday girl told my daughter in the class but I think they all are 8 years old . I am having second thoughts that there must be a mistake.

[medic1994]

I think there must be a mistake. I remember in my daughter's class (all girls school) one of the girls fell out with another and invited the whole of the class except this girl. My daughter was saying how awful it was and I said it was the girls mum that needed to look at herself as I would never allow that. I then found out that the mum was in hospital and died a couple of weeks later.
No mother would allow that. It must be a mistake.

[Min23]

I really hope that it's a mistake but I can't find it out and I think I should let it go as if I dig in further I think it would be a mistake and may be than I will upset more (the Birthday Girl's mom . )

[girlanonymous]

This just really broke my heart.

Is your daughter the only Indian child in her class? And where is it you live?

I think it was a mistake and perhaps the mother accidentally left her out and is still expecting her at the party? Has your daughter mentioned anything like an argument she may have had with the girl?

[Min23]

No there is another Indian girl in the class . I asked my daughter and also confirmed with the teacher that my daughter never had any trouble with anyone in the class . Teacher said she is well social with all of her classmates. I live in Australia. I am just scared that what if everyone will left us out .

[Annaminna]

You can ask her teacher to investigate.
It happened to my daughter as well. (she was the only foreigner in her class) We did nothing at that point but teacher found out at some point and explained to me that it is a serious issue and she should be informed. They held a parents meeting after that to discuss how to avoid situations like that in future.

[Min23]

Thanks I will sure talk to the teacher