Indian wife British husband

(9 Posts)
mymotherslove Fri 07-Sep-18 19:37:29

Ok.. I am a stay at home mum. how do you guys make your husbands contribute helping at home? Do you have a schedule or something... I thought British men contributed, but not the case with mine. I am always asking him to do things, and when he does do something he makes a big deal of it, for examoly, today I made dinner from scratch, lunch, breakfast, took care of toddler, cleaned kitchen and child and I are not well past few days.

Husband comes back from biz teip and tells me house is a mess and whem asked to bathe child, he tells me I am on my phone and should usw the time to clean house, anf put child to bed.

I had to cut my mother's call, and my sister's calls, which are international calls coz husband gets annoyed at me for doing anything on the phone at all, even after I finish cooking, cleaning and just settle down.

How do I set about making him contribute, without making it a big deal whenever he remotely does something that I do everydaybwithout any appreciation at all?

OP’s posts: |
mintbiscuit Fri 07-Sep-18 19:42:27

It’s not the fact he’s British, it sounds like you just married a selfish pig.

They come in all shapes, sizes and nationalities.

mymotherslove Fri 07-Sep-18 19:48:27

Hmmm... But I thought British men help around the house more. He does things only when I instruct him to.

I have heard British couples having schedules, does that work?

Any example of a schedule would help.. I could try and implement it at home. Since I am Indian I am naturally conditioned to do more house work than husband. He used to contribute, I think I just spoilt him and he got used to it now.

OP’s posts: |
GrannyHaddock Fri 07-Sep-18 19:54:58

Stop thinking about him contributing: it makes all the work seem to be yours which he occasionally helps you with. Running a household needs to be shared. Decide what he is going to do when he at at home. Loading the washing machine, ironing his own shirts, emptying the dishwasher, whatever.

mymotherslove Fri 07-Sep-18 20:02:36

Yes, I could make up a list for him to do. You arr right, sharing sounds better.

But his argument is that he works and I am a stay at home mum. So he is already contributing by earning money. I usually am at a loss for words when he says that. I feel my work at home is physically straining.

I know for a fact that a British woman would say something different. I would very much like to trump that arguement. Also I am breastfeeding, and dont get enough sleep.

OP’s posts: |
GrannyHaddock Fri 07-Sep-18 22:16:13

You are working at being a mum. It's a 24-hour job. He gets a break from home stuff going to work. Money isn't all he needs to contribute.

FadedRed Fri 07-Sep-18 22:28:42

What the previous posters have said. Nothing to do with nationality, everything to do with your husband being a lazy and disrespectful arse.

BunsOfAnarchy Tue 11-Sep-18 07:05:17

Is he a British born Indian?
Reason i ask is because there are very very many British born Indian men who choose to marry women from india because 'everything will be done and no one will answer back' like us British Indian woman would. Pff.
He is a massive backwards pig. Next time he says you are a SAHM remind him you're actually doing 2 jobs. You are keeping the house clean/running/meals cooked etc all while solely looking after a toddler. Ask him how much he would get done at work if he had to look after his child at the same time...he wouldnt be able to both. You however are expected to by this pig.
Chores and bedtimes should be shared. He gets to switch off and relax every day after work. You most likely havent relaxed in a few years!

daughterofanarchy Fri 14-Sep-18 17:14:32

I agree with what bunsofanarchy has said. Some British Asian men want to marry someone from “back home” as they want everything done for them.
Stand your ground OP

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