AIBU MIL staying 4 months!!!

[stefansmum]

Had a massive row with DH today. Sparked by my son not eating all day when left in the care of MIL who is staying with us for 4 months. She's going home in a few weeks and has not once cooked, offered to help with kids, tried to engage with them etc. I hardly speak to her as fed up now she stays in her room all day and shows no interest in me or the kids. DH blames me for not making an effort and says I should go and ask her to come pick up the kids etc. Am so upset about this and now seems he is not speaking to me. Says it's because I'm English any Jamaican wife would be more than happy for MIL to stay for such a long time. Can anyone offer any words of wisdom?? (Sorry for long post).

[AJPTaylor]

i would say that you are very proud of your English heritage and in future you will not tolerate a stay longer than a fortnight.
seriously i loved my dmil dearly. 3 days and i became stabby

[RapunzelIsHere]

It sounds like you could have done more to encourage your MiL to interact with you and your children. You agreed to have her stay with you for four months I assume and it sounds as if you let the weeks go by leaving her in her room.

[SittingAround1]

Tell him he should have married a Jamaican woman then.
YANBU if she's staying so long then she needs to pull her weight and help out around the house.

[Aw12345]

YANBU

I love my mother in law but more than a few days and I'm dying to have our own space back! DH is being unreasonable to not take into account how you feel about it.

[LinoleumBlownapart]

My mother stayed with us for a month, I'm English and so is she. She cooked once, did nothing else, moaned about the kids, moaned about the heat, was bored and spent a lot of time in her room. In my experience, people don't like being away from home for a long period of time, especially when they're older/retired and have nothing to do. 4 months is too much. It's hard to engage someone that wants to stay but desperately wants to leave at the same time.

[MrsDc7]

Good lord. FOUR MONTHS

[123bananas]

I think the issue here is not how long she is there for, but the total lack of interest in your family.

Is your DH not angry that your son was not fed?

FWIW my MIL was Jamaican and always had her grandkids to stay and cooked for them and her whole family plus others who just dropped by on a regular basis.

DH says your DH is talking out of his arse and both he and his Mum are disrespecting you. He doesn't know anyone in his large extended family, let alone close family who would not feed a child in their care for a whole day.

[Scabetty]

Pils stayed for 3 weeks ONCE. Why is it up to you to sort a grown woman out. Your dh is old fashioned and unreasonable and you are not in Jamaica.

[Mum2jenny]

I'd have killed her, or possibly made food she wouldn't eat, every single day until she got the message. But I hate any visitors ( family or others) staying more than a week..