Raising children bilingually

[aliya84]

Apologies if this kind of thread has been done lots before.

Does anyone have any advice on raising children bilingually. DH is English, I am German, and we'd love the DCs to become fluent in both languages.

If anyone has any tips or recommendations for books/websites, that would be very helpful! Thanks.

[Bananalanacake]

We are the other way around, I am English dp is German. We live in Germany. The best way is to speak to the DC in both languages, I only speak English with DD he and his family only speak German, she is bilingual and nearly 3.

[aliya84]

Thanks for your reply. That's funny, we live in the UK, so yes we're exactly the other way around! Do you speak any German (just not to your DD)? Do you and DP normally speak German or English with each other?

We also thought we should just be strict and I only speak German with the DC and DH only English (he doesn't speak German anyway), but of course between each other we speak English, so I don't know whether it would still be confusing. I haven't really spoken much German at all since moving here a decade ago, so it will be quite a change for me too.

[DoubleHelix79]

We're in the same situation - DH is English, I'm German. DD is now five months and we're hoping she'll speak both languages.

I'm trying to speak mostly German to her already, and plan to only speak German with her when she gets a bit older.

Let me know how you progress!

[Ginmummy1]

I'm not bilingual, but one of my DD's friends has been brought up in the UK by Greek parents. The parents only ever speak Greek to the children, and the children have learned English from childminders, nursery, school, friends etc. Their spoken English is excellent - you would never know.

I've spoken to their mother who has explained that they have always been entirely consistent in speaking only Greek to the children. The children therefore do not get the languages mixed up, and do not substitute words of the the other language. She believes this is because of the consistent approach.

It is occasionally a bit strange that she says something to the children in Greek and has to translate it for me/my DD (when her children would obviously understand it in English if she just said it once to all of us in English), but it is this entirely consistent approach that has made it so straightforward for the children.

The oldest child (just finished Y1) does well with phonics and at school generally, and they go to Greek school on Saturdays and her Greek teacher says she's also on a par with the level of full-time Greek children of the same age.

[DoubleHelix79]

Oh sorry, didn't actually answer your question. I just browsed a few websites, didn't really read any books.

The main methods seem to be :1) one partner speaks in one language, the other partner in the other language. 2) specific times and places (e.g. at home, at the dinner table) are 'minority language' times where everyone speaks that language.

I'll also try to find some German speaking friends for her if I can. We're in London, so it shouldn't be too difficult I hope.

[aliya84]

Thanks Double - let me know how you progress too, and if you find any nice German groups/places in London you might recommend? (We're in London too.)

Does your DH speak German?
In fact our DC isn't actually born yet but I'm also planning to speak only German to him/her once he/she is here. But I guess at the dinner table it will have to be English anyway- or I won't be able to talk to my DH anymore! Do you have experience with this too?

Thanks Ginmummy too, but yeah I can almost imagine that a little easier if both parents speak the other language - easier to make it consistent. I worry exactly about this- I won't be able to be completely consistent as DH doesn't speak German. Still nice to hear it worked so well in your friend's family!

[DoubleHelix79]

Will do!

DH speaks enough German to hold a (simple) conversion, so hopefully he won't feel excluded when I speak it with DD. I'm actually hoping it will help him be more comfortable with small mistakes. He always wants to get it 100% right and ends up not saying anything at all.

I'm also slightly concerned that MY German isn't so great any more. I've been here 10 years (plus a bit of time in the US) and I've started to use a lot of 'Denglisch' and rather strange sentence constructions.

Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well!

[Archfarchnad]

Hi aaliya, we're somewhat at the other end of the process and now have two completely bilingual English/German teenagers. We're both English native speakers in Germany so instead of OPOL we went for English-only at home, German outside as community language, and a German-English school so they can read and write properly in both languages. Whichever system you choose, you need to uphold it rigorously - if they reply to you as the minority parent in the majority language, just say briskly 'that's not the language we speak together, please talk to me in German,' or whatever. I can recommend the book 'The Bilingual Family' which gives a number of different scenarios for how bilingual families can work in practice.
My experience has been that it helps enormously if the primary caregiver speaks the minority language, which means that the language gets more exposure in the early years.
You know about the Samstagsschule system, I assume? if you're not planning on using the deutsche Schule in Richmond, your D.C. Will need some sort of input from other children.

[aliya84]

Thanks, both - that's super helpful.

I have the same issue with my own German not being great anymore!! I've started reading more in German and listening to German radio so as to get back used to it

Arch This is extremely useful, thank you! I actually didn't know about the saturday schools yet but have just googled. That's such a good tip, as I hadn't even thought about written skills yet. Perhaps my DH could also take a course there!

Have ordered the book too - thank you!

[Bananalanacake]

I am learning German, it is fun but taking a while, I'm on an integration course and watch German TV. Dp is bilingual and we normally speak English. DD speaks English to me but sticks in a few German nouns,,, I want to wear a Kleid, make it zu, where's the Deckel. We are in London every few months as I still own my flat there.

[aliya84]

Thanks Banana, haha that's quite funny! "make it zu"

If our child ends up doing the same, perhaps DH will pick up a few German words that way anyway!

[annaclark]

That's interesting, I would be the first one here to discuss Russian, English, and Dutch! Hah. Originally I am from Russia, but I have always been living in Europe. I finished the American University and came back to UK. Now, we moved to Czech Republic, and I fluently speak Czech, which is quite similar to Russian. Btw I speak Russian perfectly since I love the language and work hard not to forget even the grammar, not talking about the speech. Although I have an accent :(( But its understandable.. In my family, we speak only Russian, and my daughter spends a lot of time with my granny - it's amazing how much it helps! So she speaks Russian and Dutch, because my hubby's family uses only Dutch, while talking to her. But at the same time, we all speak English between each other... I always dreamed about the bilingual family but thought it would be so confusing. In fact, it's not! Hopefully, she will speak even Czech later on, even though she goes to the English schools only and attending the classes of Russian.

[Maya12]

We've ended up with a perfectly bilingual child despite not being consistent, both mixing languages and swapping back and forth. But somehow telly, books in both languages, children's songs, and stays with grandparents seem to have sorted it into two neatly separated languages, thank goodness. Wish I'd known, I'd have spent less time feeling guilty in the early years