Over 6 hours detangling hair, how do we prevent it getting that bad & is there an easier way to detangle?

(29 Posts)
katymac Sat 22-Apr-17 10:30:54

DD (19) has beautiful hair; mixed race - black Jamaican/white British

We have tended to do a version of curly girl with few silicones, occasional shampoos & no brushing or combing just running her fingers through her hair with conditioner

What we think happens is: she dances, she sweats, the conditioner 'melts' she doesn't immediately finger comb her hair & goes to the next class so it becomes matted & during periods of high pressure/work/exams, it doesn't get properly done & have to detangle it and then we start again. Not helped by being styled in a ballet bun, high pony or loose depending of the style of dance

We have tried over 100 different types of product over the years, some work & then get discontinued, others we throw away after using once, we have had to cut product out of her hair before now as it was nigh on impossible to remove

Any suggestions on a new routine/product/hairdresser to visit for advise?

Both of us are ready to cut it off but it is such a part of her neither of us want to

OP’s posts: |
PippaFawcett Sat 22-Apr-17 10:33:14

There are lots of Facebook groups for curly hair that might be able to help. Try the Curly Crew and there is a Curly Girls one too, the second one is strictly conditioner wash only. There are probably ones specific to mixed race hair if you look. Good luck!

kateemo Sat 22-Apr-17 10:42:07

Hiya. I've got two with very Curly hair. I am mixed but mostly Chinese Jamaican and my husband from Barbados, wears his hair in dreadlocks, so you can imagine our two girls. I have gone into business making natural hair products specifically for multi-ethnic families after much trial and error. I seldom use shampoo. Only when dirty or after swimming. Natural conditioner with coconut and sea buckhorn oil, coconut oil based scalp and hair butter for detangling after conditioner and scalp maintenence. Liquid oil daily, natural wax for styling and an aloe vera spray instead of water for quick detangling. If you send me a PM. . . .

kateemo Sat 22-Apr-17 10:48:35

Try putting hair into a few plaits before up in bun/ponytail? Plait from the ponytail if she prefera that to ones started from the scalp. We find it easier to keep tangles away if hair is in plaits. Otherwise it really becomes prone to dryness and tangles.

katymac Sat 22-Apr-17 13:17:31


we tried Coconut oil but it was too heavy - we seem to veer between too gloopy & too dry

I'll ask her if she wants to get in touch Kateemo I like the sound of the aloe spray

OP’s posts: |
katymac Tue 25-Apr-17 18:59:19

Any suggestions? DD is getting desperate!!

Messaged you Kateemo

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Beansonapost Tue 25-Apr-17 19:19:54

Co-washing... washing with conditioner only, to maintain moisture.

I'd suggest co-wash then put the hair in plaits, it shouldn't get tangled and should retain the moisture. Try looking at other protective styling methods.

I've found this website helpful... they have a blog as well.


You can also do a deep conditioning... conditioner and a shower cap on , can leave for a couple hrs or use the blow dryer to help heat it up. You can go the same thing with the oils you use.

Wide tooth combs , detangling brush and only detangle under running water.

Beansonapost Tue 25-Apr-17 19:22:33

She can also try sleeping with a silk bonnet ... as Regular linen dries out the hair. I got mine from etsy... general recommendation is mulberry silk... or if you can afford it a more expensive one.

katymac Tue 25-Apr-17 20:38:15

We never comb or brush only fingers - she used to use a scarf & plait but she runs out of time - I nag but you know how successful that is

We rarely shampoo - I'll 'remind' her about all this she used to be so good

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kateemo Wed 26-Apr-17 09:20:09

Saw it last night! I'm answering now smile

Sauvignonblanket Wed 26-Apr-17 10:07:18

Are you near London? Unruly Curls is a great salon. I've been going for two years and they work wonders with everyone I see there - all sorts of curls, styles and lengths and really nice people.

katymac Wed 26-Apr-17 10:51:15

She is, where are they (busy googling) & how expensive are they?

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Sauvignonblanket Wed 26-Apr-17 13:55:22

Between Latimer Road tube and Westfield in West London - £75ish for a cut so definitely not cheap, but for me worth it for a good job on something that's important. HTH

katymac Wed 26-Apr-17 14:58:11

some of the places we looked at were over £200 are they likely to give her advise? she really needs advise!!

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Sauvignonblanket Wed 26-Apr-17 19:25:18

I think so...but maybe best to give them a call, explain and see what they say and which of their stylists could help most? I'd hate to over promise without knowing your daughter's hair or the full extent of what they do, but my experience has always been great (though do be prepared for over runs, it's just the way it goes). Good luck!

Sauvignonblanket Wed 26-Apr-17 19:31:04

Ps the owner has just put out a book called Unruly Curls as well - not read it yet, but it might help. It's on Amazon.

Ummmmgogo Wed 26-Apr-17 19:37:53

The best way to detangle my hair is to wet it, cover it in deep conditioner and then detangle from bottom up with a denman brush. The water from the shower needs to be running gently on the hair and do a section at a time.

If I regularly needed my hair in a ballet bun though I would do one with cornrows And extension hair to avoid this very issue! Xx

Ummmmgogo Wed 26-Apr-17 19:42:28

Also I don't understand what you mean by coconut oil is too heavy? It's oil, it's supposed to keep her hair too greasy and slippery to tangle. If I have brushed coconut oil (I prefer shea butter and that's what I normally use) through my hair and then put it in a bun it will be far less matted than if I've just used some random conditioner xx

katymac Wed 26-Apr-17 19:44:17

Yeah she alternates between Ballet bun, high pony & big hair

That how we do it Ummmmgogo

Don't worry Sauvignblanket we will talk to them & see how it goes, some of the pics were of mixed race women so fingers crossed (wrong side of London tho' wink)

OP’s posts: |
katymac Wed 26-Apr-17 19:46:58

She is probably doing the coconut oil wrong then I can't do it for her as I am allergic to coconut but it ends up very clumpy with curls with no real shape and bits of hard white after a few hours

OP’s posts: |
Ummmmgogo Wed 26-Apr-17 21:05:08

You could try shea butter but if she doesn't the greasy feeling I don't think she will be a fan xx

katymac Thu 27-Apr-17 21:48:53

Thank Ummmmgogo if it's too heavy it doesn't seem to be absorbed as much - but I'll see if she wants to have a go

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user1489570718 Thu 11-May-17 21:29:05

Hey Katymac, I would suggest using plaits to wash and detangle your daughter's hair. Try not to use too many different products, but do use whichever conditioner you find gives the best slip to douse her hair with before detangling and washing. So example routine after dance session add lots of conditioner to your daughter's hair work through gently detangling from ends to root and separate and plait (or tie in a bobble or clip uf you cant plait wink ) into four sections. You should find the conditioner helps with tangles so this is all relatively quick and easy try using a tangle tease brush if her knots are super bad working your way up from ends to root. Then wash each section with shamphoo using a super wide tooth comb or denman brush or tangle tease. do not scrunch or rub her hair around on the scalp this will create knots and tangles, instead let the water run through from scalp to tip and use fingers to detangle from scalp to tip after you're done with each section re/braid/band/clip and move onto the next.

This should help and be simple as all you need is a shed load of conditioner, a brush and to remember to do everything from the bottom up grin.

Hope this helps your daughter to love her curls xx

isthistoonosy Thu 11-May-17 21:40:03

Did you mean 19 or 9?
I've got hair like this, I've tried all the products etc but at the end of the day it works just as well to wash it with basics shampoo and conditioner (lots, and left on for at least 5 min), and then about a brussell sprout amount rubbed on my hands and swept through my hair works better. All the products just waste time, and money and just makes it all harder as you have to wash it out and manage it all the time. I let it dry a bit naturally and either leave it in a bun to dry it I want it down and calm, loose if I want big hair, and plaited if I need it tied back for work etc the next day.

I tend to plait it a lot, but I use to wear it down and just redo the conditioner sweep on the morning of the second day and a finger brush. Or wet brushing with a brush dipped in warm water with conditioner in it.

isthistoonosy Thu 11-May-17 21:43:47

I'd not bother with a tangle teaser, my kids got half thickness and curls as me it barely touches his curly hair. Afro comb or tbh a normal cheap big brush work just fine (might be a bit tough for a 9 yr old though).

How do you comb - I do sections, ends first, then work up the hair, then do the nape of the neck last, never turn my head upside down or move my hair around much as that causes it too re-tangle while brushing.

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