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How do you explain the differences to your child

(7 Posts)
Misstic Wed 11-Jan-17 18:07:50

My son (who is 5) asked me today why I look so different to him. He wonders why his skin colour is not the same as mine. As far as he is concerned, if you are brown, you should have a brown mummy and if you are white, a white mummy.

It is a great opportunity to explain things to him but I want to strike the right balance as I don't want to confuse him or overload him with ingo.

How have you handled this issue?

originalmavis Wed 11-Jan-17 18:17:08

There's a DK book called Children Just Like Me that has photos of kids and their families from all over the world (there's also one called 'celebrations'). It's nice for kids to spot families in the book that look like people they know.

And to answer your q, DS has always just laughed at how pale and freckly I am.

InTheDessert Wed 11-Jan-17 18:21:25

We have told the kids they are a mixture of Mummy and Daddy.

originalmavis Wed 11-Jan-17 18:25:30

Ds had opted to be English. Neither of us are!

I have pointed out that if he ever decides to play sports at a high level he has a better chance of getting into a national squad from either parents country!

Eggsbutnobacon Wed 11-Jan-17 18:31:09

My ds is adopted and is of a completely different heritage to me and dh. Coming up to 9 now he is starting to find it difficult to explain to his peer group why we all look so very different. In fact he has started to ask me and my dh not to go to his school events together as it provokes more questions which he finds intrusive.
We are trying to teach him to be confident in his own skin whilst at the same time not feeling he has to explain everything when he is asked. ( if that makes sense).

originalmavis Wed 11-Jan-17 18:41:40

Daft question, but does he know that he is adopted and do you know his family heritage? Does he find it hard explaining that he is adopted or from a 'different' culture?

I suppose people will always ask out of curiosity (DS is always asked where his name is from and he honestly tells them 'we have no idea, it's very rare even where dad's family is from').

I always loved genetics as a child and was curious as to why my siblings have every eye colour in the family. Dad explained that to me when I was quite little.

Eggsbutnobacon Wed 11-Jan-17 19:24:02

He does know that he is adopted and we are totally open about his heritage. He just says he doesn't like to look so obviously different to me and dh. At one time he used to tell his peers that he just had tanned skin. It's very difficult because dh and I both have typical Irish colouring, dark hair, blue eyes and fair skin.

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