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Mixed race relationships

(19 Posts)
sammy90 Fri 11-Jul-14 22:47:07

Anyone feel like talking to another mum about anything please contact me PM or openly smile

Tryharder Thu 17-Jul-14 20:53:54

What do you want to know???

GirlWithTheLionHeart Thu 17-Jul-14 20:58:34


VampireSquid Thu 17-Jul-14 21:13:28


sammy90 Thu 17-Jul-14 21:22:28

Hey mums welcome, how is everyone doing?

sammy90 Thu 17-Jul-14 21:36:03


I just wanted to talk to other mum in general but wanted mums of mix race relationship so on this thread they could feel open to voice they concerns, that other could relate to aswel. As there is too much hatred in this world for someone going with the opposite race, ex specially if you are white and going with the black man. Hated among whites and black people not to say all black and white people are bad, but there definitely is in the high class society. Plus amongst every talk like foods,cultural,etc.

Elfina Thu 17-Jul-14 21:37:13

That's a shame - I've not really experienced that. Do you want to say more?

sammy90 Thu 17-Jul-14 21:49:14

Well depending on what area u enter with your children for example Chiswisk, some white people would look at me with disgust. When I enter another area some people wonder how's my child going to have any black in them expect skin colour. I'm not a single mother I could pick a better father for my children to teach them about his cultural we at soul food I deal with a children hair neatly as I see on multicultural families a lot of threads saying how to deal with hair and how to cream a baby etc, then someone wrote a thread when just having a baby that they now don't think they can deal with the racasim they might endure and how will they protect their child from it. When someone gets into a mixed relationship it's gotta be expected because for me I feel time may have moved on small bit in this country from salvery. But not as much people make it out to be its everyone's here but we still hate u.

VampireSquid Thu 17-Jul-14 22:03:32

I'm sorry to hear that. I live in a very multicultural area of London, I haven't experienced much outright racism recently...when I was a child, it was a different matter. My parents are Syrian (I was raised here since I was a kid though) and it is mainly relatives from that side which I've had trouble with. DH is white...his family can be a bit weird about some things (but they mean well, not that that helps much...) but they like me, I like them. My mother was already distanced from her family after divorcing and marrying my stepdad, but she always made sure I stayed in contact with them, and when I told them about DH, they were vicious. Most of them won't talk to us and DH feels shit as he thinks it's his fault (for what? Being white?) when of course it isn't at all. The ones who haven't cut us off make pointed comments and I have chosen not to talk to them as I can't bear it and neither can DH.

sammy90 Fri 18-Jul-14 20:08:24

Well that's what happens with nasty people I had to cut my own mother off because she can bear the fact that I'm not with a white person so god knows how she thinks she can accept my children. Family's are sometimes Worst then the public. which I now unfortunately have none now. It's crazy but I'm happier without them in my life. Can't deal with these nasty comments or things that aren't sincere. We just gotta focus on our children and bring them up the right

TeaAddict235 Thu 16-Oct-14 11:01:23

I think that it was really nice of you sammy90 for opening up this thread, very altruistic of you to be honest. I do think that people in multicultural relationships should try and foster some kind of community spirit between themselves, as only those in such relationships really understand how it is on a day to day, year to year basis.


sammy90 Sun 19-Oct-14 19:09:50

Why, thank you teaaddict, nice and uplifting comment. I wish we could built up a community but I don't think this thread has caught anyone's attention as such, as if it was unreality.unfortunately but if anyone want to write on the thread if you wish to express your thoughts please. Thanks.

alteredimages Wed 29-Oct-14 09:57:52

Hi sammy,

Thanks for starting this thread. I was just logging on to ask why this boars is so dead, so I am up for reviving the thread if you are.

I got a bit put off posting on this board because we are raising the kids muslim and I started a thread around this time last year about explaining to DD why santa doesn't visit her. It turned into a massive bun fight, with the majority opinion that celebrating christmas is mandatory even for non Christian British people. hmm I just left the thread and haven't posted again until today.

I am lucky that both my family and my husband's family have been great but there are always tricky things to negotiate when there is a big difference in cultural backgrounds.

alteredimages Wed 29-Oct-14 10:00:44

teaaddict I am a confirmed coffee addict but your username made me want a nice big mug of proper English tea. grinbrewbiscuit

sammy90 Wed 29-Oct-14 19:54:31

Hello altereimages thanks for posting on here. I want this thread to be where everyone has a say and that no one is run off the site for what they believe in I will help everyone get their point cross. I don't want no nasty uneducated people to post rubbish or bullying because they can't accept that everyone is different. Me and my partner have be currently talking over the past few years whether to celebrate Xmas anymore as its just overrated expensive and people just getting in to massive amounts of debt every year and some people under so much pressure that they commit suicide ! Because they simple cannot afford it. Some people believe that everything surrounds around one day called Xmas to show that they love their kids or family. When we ment to show are love and caring feelings everyday to the people we love. Whether its to do with religion or simply out of that persons decision. Well not to bring this subject up again for you no more I'll finish here. I'm willing to build up a good network on here but I think much mixed couples are on here or they all gone. Or maybe they is nothing wrong with the world that they live in.

sammy90 Wed 29-Oct-14 19:59:29

When it comes to families I think that they should respect how you bring your children up as long as your children are happy, well cared for, and getting educated from both culturally and history sides then that's a great done. Families should only be concerned or upset when your children are in danger. I had to cut my own mother off due to her getting to involved in my life as well as own racist opinions which I didn't want to shut her off but she gave me no choice and it's been the best thing I have ever done untill she can change her wicked ways.

Mrso1987 Mon 17-Nov-14 22:18:58

I'm white, British (with Danish, welsh, Jew background not sure if that is actually relevant but everyone seems to put real enfaces on cultural background) my husband is black, British with Jamaican and Dominican background. We have three children, personally we have experienced some backlash due to our 'race mixing' but am happy to say neither of us has ever given a s**t about what others think, including family members who have over time had no choice but to accept and embrace our relationship/family. Our children are raised knowing that they are mixed race. Because they are so young I do find myself making a big deal about them having their own race which is amazing and very special. Especially because they are 3 out of 4 only mixed caribbean kids in their school. I cook caribbean food atleast once a week not only to give the kids a taste of the caribbean but because I personally favour the food and my husband was raised with it. But then again we joke that he's more British than me, he says your more likely to catch me eating jerk chicken than you are him for he favours sausages and mash more! Lol but that's me. So far we've had one incident where our eldest was called an n****r in school. It was made a big deal out of and the school took it very seriously. I'm very proud to say my son took it on the chin and not personally at all. Because my son knows that word does not apply to him for it has no meaning to him or his race. That word is a derogatory word taken from way back in the day, used to verbally abuse slaves that worked on farms. It has no actually substantial meaning to us. Well that's a little about me and my family, look forward to reading others stories/experiences. It's always nice to discuss with other mothers who truly understand your own family dynamics because Where I live i don't know many at all!

sammy90 Fri 21-Nov-14 19:53:23

Hello mrso1987 thanks for posting on here.
I do think that having a well balanced of each other cultures are need for the children histories are well thought and when I mean this I mean not what the school teach in school because all we learn is about the Victorians, Tudors and 1% of black history if that at all. The only names our children will learn is Malcolm x, Martha Luther King, Marcus Garvey. No disrespect to these great people but their was many many other greats who are becoming now the unknown and should always be remembered like the great-
Jack Johnson,Boxer (1878–1946)
Jack Johnson, nicknamed "the Galveston Giant," was the first African American world heavyweight boxing champion.

Nyabinghi, the "hidden queen" fought to free Africans from English slavery and rule.she inspired the Nyabinghi underpinnings of Rastafarianism.

Assata Shakur
Freedom fighter with the Black Liberation Army and the Black Panther Party.

Steve Biko
A student leader, founded the Black Consciousness Movement which would empower and mobilize much of the urban black populations around the world. Since his death in police custody, he has become a martyr of the anti-apartheid movement.While living, his writings and activism empowered black people, and he was famous for his slogan “Black is Beautiful”, which he described as meaning: “man, you are okay as you are, begin to look upon yourself as a human being.”

These are just some. But I really don't feel that that in our society in the uk their is not an equal opportunity for black people/mixed race because they are still viewed in this slavery mentally. Keep them on low jobs, job less or jail. There was no jail until salvery was ended. I don't see any white mothers campaigning for black rights or talking about racism on platforms, everyone go's on like life's cosy and we should just keep enduring silent racism. White mums are only going to come out and march, campaign when our mixed race children are murdered/mistreated,etc. we enter a mixed race relationship where we are taking on the black cultural and 9/10 the children will have dark skin and for racist people they will be viewed as black not mixed race. We have to protect teach and not hid the truth to children so they can grow as a nation together and not let one race hold all the power but that every race has a fair and equal power to live in a land of opportunities. Because how many black mps in parliament do we have?How many judges are black?
Which priminster has ever be black?
How many black people owe the big corporations?
Africa, Caribbean islands full of treasures but is left with nothing.
Usually, reparations. compensation in money, material, labor, etc., payable by a defeated country to another country or to an individual for loss suffered during or as a result of war.
restoration to good condition.
This is what black people are fighting for, when the white people had to give up their slaves they was compensated over £20million pound! While the real people would was suffering was left with nothing till this very day!
Sorry it's long just need to off load thoughts on to here.

Princessjonsie Mon 12-Jan-15 13:37:54

Must say I bought my son, now 21, up in the whitest part of England ever. He was the only mixed race child in the area for at least 10 years and I never had any problems at all. My only problem was going shopping and trying to get anywhere as people would stop me and admire him. He had a child minder from 3 months and she had the same problem. She said it was hell trying to get anywhere with him as he was so cute people always wanted to talk to him. Growing up his only other problem was he couldn't hide. If he was in a crowd and that crowd was up to no good then he stuck out like a sore thumb ( not a bad thing lol). As a white women I never had any racism directed at me or my partner. Only ever had one incident but that was ignorant parenting not racism. I was out with my son who was about 7 at the time with my then boyfriend a white guy and we were in the park. A child asked her mum within ear shot why the little boy was brown and his mum and dad were white. She said he was probably adopted. It played on my sons mind for months. Nothing to do with racism just a dumb women and her throw away remark to shut her kid up. We can sometime anticipate people reactions and assume they are looking down on us when in fact, if you asked them, its something else going on in there lives. Example: I was looking at a girls hat on a train yesterday and thinking how nice it was and if it would suit me and where did she get it. She looked angrily at me and asked what I was staring at. As soon as I said your beautiful hat and I was just wondering if it would suit me she smiled and offered it to me to try on and we chatted for rest of journey. her assumption was I was staring in a negative way.

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