Anyone with Algerian husband?

(138 Posts)
doublemuvver Sat 05-Mar-11 12:17:45

Curious to know of others married to Algerians and what, if any, cultural differences/issues you have experienced. We've been married 6 years and have 2 kids (twins). Life is a bit of a rollercoaster sometimes.

BeeMyBaby Sat 11-Feb-17 11:16:35

@mrslaichaoui I saw your post on aibu, what are his reasons for waiting?

mrslaichaoui Fri 10-Feb-17 01:42:15

Oh sorry my DH is from Tebessa in Algeria xxx

mrslaichaoui Fri 10-Feb-17 01:40:51

Hi I'm nearly married for a year! My DH is lovely but won't start trying for a baby I'm 33 and he wants 3 or more! I want to have babies but AIBU to expect we start asap so I'm not a really old mum? TIA xxx

BeeMyBaby Fri 13-Jan-17 22:00:27

@dmn1983 up to you what you wear, again it depends where about he is from, in Algiers the women wear hijab but afaik in the villages the women don't wear hijabs and a midi skirt would be acceptable. Jeans are always fine I reckon but perhaps not skinny ones... I don't wear low cut tops and I wear long sleeves when I go out, DH likes it when I wear maxi dresses but I tend to trip so don't bother unless it's summer. Basically just wear whatever you are comfortable in but make it a bit conservative.
Your dh's suggestion is not that bad, a lot of the clothes they sell there are made from man made materials and my in laws appreciate proper cotton (I've had requests for primark high cotton content socks before).

dmn1983 Fri 13-Jan-17 17:38:04

Ah thats great thanks!! If I asked him it would be bloody primark pyjamas! I want to get something a bit original! What did you wear there im panicking most about that! Im covered in tattoos so obviously want to cover them but he keeps showing me these dresses that look like potato sacks! Haha any advice would be great!

BeeMyBaby Fri 13-Jan-17 14:36:37

@dmn1983 I would recommend taking chocolates as gifts (something like celebrations), my in laws love these and they wouldn't normally buy them for themselves. I got my mil the Masha electric potato masher as they have a dish that consists of loads of mash potato (with chicken) which has to be very softly mashed (they stick it through a potato ricer) and normally takes ages to make, maybe find out from your DH if that would be of interest. I suppose gifts depend on how well off his family are, if they lived in a main city like Algiers and were well off then they could probably buy most stuff there... otherwise nice hair care products for the women in his family?

Suffiyah1970 Sat 07-Jan-17 19:56:54

@worldCitizen... Very good question.. I was married for 15 years before i left.. The country i loved the culture wasnt a problem, but had someone gave me an insight into the Algerian mentality and possibly future issues.. That would of been valuable..would it of stopped me that i cant say... I must say while we were married i had a great relationship with his family.. And like other people i have experienced them going into my belongings... But i felt as they saw me as British and supposedly better off than there were... I saw it as curiosity... But at the same time quite rude...

dmn1983 Sat 07-Jan-17 18:57:04

My Algerian DH and I have been married almost a year after being in and out of a relationship for 8 years! Im going to meet his family in April near Annaba and Im really neevous! Im trying to get loads of tips on what to wear, presents to take etc any help would be great! He keeps telling me not to worry but thats the worst thing you can say to me blush

Suffiyah1970 Sat 31-Dec-16 22:00:50

I was married to an Algerian for 15 years and travelled many times there, I must say i never had issues going out my ex had no problem with me going out shopping or sightseeing without him, I found the people very friendly and always had invitations for dinner or weddings.. I enjoyed the life and quite happily took on their culture....what i didnt like i would ignore without being disrespectful and could laugh about.... I feel its not that you cant go out but i feel the men are just protective of their wives in a foreign country...

Kitten3 Thu 29-Dec-16 16:26:46

Why are any of the above points hurdles?
Either you have agreed to just live your lives as you currently do or one of you is prepared to compromise the way you live and the culture you practise.
I think you need to think carefully about what you want out of life and how you may want potential children raised.
Irrespective of faith or culture, many adults choose to raise their children with the values and traditions they were raised with.

Shoelover11 Thu 29-Dec-16 14:31:47

Hi, not sure if anyone can help me, I'm a 20 year old British girl with an Algerian boyfriend (although he has lived in the U.K. since he was a baby) I am born Christian/atheist & he is Muslim. we have an amazing realationship however we are worried about the future & weather to continue our relationship due to the difference between our religion & culture. There is so much to take into consideration that we have almost ended our relationship over it, but our love always keeps us together. Has anyone got any advice to get over these hurdles (such as bringing up a child Muslim, alcohol, marriage, English tradition such as Christmas, difference in opinions, etc.)

Would love to hear everyone's advice

Thanks😊

BeeMyBaby Wed 09-Nov-16 12:53:29

Does anyone else's DH occasionally get interviewed by police on their return from Algeria for possible terrorism? He was interviewed about 7 years ago and again today. I wasn't sure if it's just something they do to all Algerians or just because he visits about 3 times a year?

Layla11 Wed 21-Sep-16 14:09:55

Fingers crossed he seems to have come round a bit.
Just annoys me because he's normally very good.
Just one more bit of stress I didn't need.
The funeral is at a crematorium so it's not a religious service. I know that cremations are against Islam but it wasn't our choice and we won't see it happen.
I'm not sure if he's ever really been to any funerals before.

pinkmagic1 Wed 21-Sep-16 06:55:21

So sorry to hear about your brother Leyla. Your husband is being very unreasonable not to attend the funeral.
My dh of 19 years is an Egyptian muslim and has been to a number of non islamic funerals of various friends and family members in both the UK and Egypt.
He does not have to join in the prayers, it is about showing respect for the deceased individual and also supporting their friends and family. At the end of the day Muslims and Christians worship the same God. Sounds like he is on a bit of power trip by refusing to go tbh.

Layla11 Tue 20-Sep-16 12:49:15

As you are all in the same boat, I'm hoping I can vent on here.
My (usually very good) husband is threatening not to go to the funeral of my brother next week.
Even though he said he was a really nice man, he 'wasn't muslim' 😬
He's practicing Islam but isn't normally the preachy type. It angers me that this is the time he's decided to make a stand. I converted 8yrs ago but told him I will take my chances on this one!!!
Which one of us is being unreasonable?

Layla11 Tue 20-Sep-16 12:44:00

Hello.
Algerian men can have quite fiery tempers. I remember the first time I went to the embassy for a visa seeing a load of them arguing. It almost put me off!
Unfortunately, Algerian or not, I think that no good can come from any relationship where one partner is overly jealous or possessive.
I think you need to question if this is the life you really want.
Is your BF quite new to England?
My husband gets funny about my 16yr old sometimes but I tell him he can't expect everything here to be like Algeria. He's been here 15 years!

tinylostcat Tue 20-Sep-16 01:34:27

I've been with an Algerian for nearly a year now, it's always been hard but he makes me feel so special.
He gets very angry though and is extremely jealous and possessive. I never see my friends anymore.
Despite this, I love spending time with him.
I do however worry about having children with him...
I care so much about him though, and he never listens.
Would love advice xx

Rienfenty Wed 13-Jul-16 19:41:58

Salam to everyone I just realised this post has been updated since I last commented! I hope everyone had a lovely Ramadan and eid with their families. I did do my first Ramadan and it was super difficult, I also broke my hand during Ramadan so I found it especially difficult without medication. As for my husband I can't believe how different his attitude is from his first few months here till now, he has learned how to cook (eggs and borek) and was God sent during Ramadan helping me with everything! I love hearing everyone's stories on how they met their loved ones and about having children! x

Layla11 Fri 17-Jun-16 19:13:10

Hello/Salam alikoum
Thought I would share a positive experience as I have seen many negatives on here unfortunately 🙁
I have been with my husband for 10 years. We have 4 children together.
He had lived here for 5 years prior to my meeting him, which may have helped in his attitude.
I have converted to Islam by my own choosing, following a profound experience.
I have been to Algeria 8 times so far. We stay near Algiers so there is plenty to do.
We go out with the children almost every day to the market/for ice cream/ride horses/zoo/feed the monkeys...everything.
My husband does not go out without me unless he is going to the mosque/dr/dentist.
My MIL is very friendly and accommodating. We only speak a few words of each others languages, but we can communicate the important things.
I have met a few other English women who are married to Algerians whose husbands go out a lot, or holiday separately but we never have. The only nights we have spent apart were when I've been in hospital after the children's births.
He works hard, pays most of the bills and buys me nice gifts.
He even cooks and helps with the house work.
I guess I am lucky al hamdulillah

LaTempete Sat 11-Jun-16 07:15:47

Congrats comingfoccacia. I too never converted as I said from day one if he becomes a catholic I will convert to Islam. I also never fasted as he never does lent lol.
I describe myself as a lapsed Catholic I rarely attend mass and he is I guess a lapsed Muslim as fasting and mosque is not his thing. He was a chef for many years which made it harder.
As for communicating it is as much a men are from Mars thing most men retreat to their cave during arguments or difficult times. Re childcare I used to remind him that he is not babysitting his son just being his dad. He was always up for taking him out to the park but sitting at home with or without child was always torture for DH. We are planning retirement now and a home in the sun. I know he needs walking distance from a cafe or he will get stir crazy lol

Comingfoccacia Fri 10-Jun-16 19:40:16

Salaam all. I'm married to an Algerian for almost 12 years. We have b/g twins aged 8. I actually started the thread but have name changed since smile
We've had many highs and lows, things seem to be on a high at the moment, even in Ramadan! However we do not communicate very well and he's not great about putting his hand in his pocket to support us or helping out with childcare......
But kids love DZ, they are going for 4 weeks in summer. I have been many times but can't handle the heat of summer. I feel privileged to go to DZ as it's not easy to get a visa if you're not married to an Algerian. Fascinating culture and history. Love the talk of chorba and borek, very Ramadan!
I have not converted nor do I fast. Kids are being brought up as Muslim.
Would be good to keep this thread going. Saha!!

iniquity Sun 05-Jun-16 15:51:42

Hi Algerian, wives and girlfriends.. Need to think of a nick name for us, maybe AWGs ?
Anyway thanks for posting la tempete .. Nice to see a long marriage on here.
Beemybaby we will be cooking harira boreks salad and a meat dish and a nice French style dessert. My dh likes lots of little dishes that fill the table.. I always have my work cut out.
Who is fastingthis year? Reinfenty will this be your first Muslim ramadam?

LaTempete Mon 30-May-16 13:38:23

Rienfenty. It was hard at first hence his nickname for me. But storms are few and far between now😉

Rienfenty Mon 30-May-16 11:47:35

LaTempete that is such a lovely thing to see that you have been married for so long with an Algerian.

Beemybaby I am so nervous about what I'm going to cook
But what about kefta? My husband says chorba frik, dates and milk for morning and for the meal make a big salad with a meat meal and as for empty carbs try cooking with lentils or something starchy x

LaTempete Mon 30-May-16 11:02:16

Beemybaby this recioe might work for you. www.food.com/recipe/shorba-baidha-algerian-chicken-soup-387504

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