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Can I talk to someon about relaxing/texturing mixed race hair?

(35 Posts)
KatyMac Sat 30-Oct-10 11:58:40

I keep being told to either relax or texturise DD's hair

She is nearly 13 & I guess we would like her hair to be easier to deal with; but would it help? or am I swopping one problem for another?

I really know nothing about it at all so any and all information would be welcomed


KatyMac Sat 30-Oct-10 19:01:56


HecateQueenOfWitches Sat 30-Oct-10 19:03:28

god knows. I've only got boys and I avoid the whole thing by going at them with a pair of clippers grin

IF they want complicated styles, they can wait until they are old enough to sort it out themselves!

I appreciate a daughter may be slightly opposed to a number 3 grin so I'm just bumping for you.

itwasSHAMEFUL Sat 30-Oct-10 19:06:35

Watching with interest. I have a mixed race ds (nearly 9) who I've always attacked with clippers but is now insisting on growing his hair hmm

He says he wants to have a fluffy cushion on his head grin

KatyMac Sat 30-Oct-10 19:12:08

It was on the highlighting thread that I suddenly realised I didn't feel quite as strongly about this as I used to

But I have no idea how to go about it; or even if I should

KatyMac Sat 30-Oct-10 19:46:54


Actually fluffy cushion is a good description of DD on a bad day sad

itwasSHAMEFUL Sat 30-Oct-10 20:15:43

After reading around the multicultural families threads tonight I now realise I've been looking after his hair v badly sad

I always wash his hair once a week or so with just water and conditioner (shampoo if it needs it), towel dry, rub through with baby oil and then give it a thorough going over with an Afro comb. This does make it a lovely springy cushion but I didn't realise about all the separating of the curls and spraying with conditioner every day


KatyMac Sat 30-Oct-10 20:54:39

It's so hard isn't it?

TallulahBelly14 Sat 30-Oct-10 21:09:44

Can I suggest that you don't start down the road of relaxing / texturising? You probably know all of these anyway, but I think the main reasons would be:

1. You don't want dangerous chemicals anywhere near your child's head - it's a huge risk if someone that doesn't know what they're doing applies the stuff.
2. It will irreversibly damage the texture of her hair - it will so be much more fragile afterwards
3. It's not a one-off thing, it will need to be done every few months, otherwise her hair will be damaged
4. It will mean she has to be so much more conscious about haircare / going out in the rain / going swimming - things that a 12 year old probably shouldn't have to worry about

I just think you're better off learning about taking proper care her hair type, and helping her love and care for it too. There are so many online forums around that will give advice, which you probably know about already. It will take a bit of learning, but I think it's worth it if you can avoid starting down that road. Other people may have different views, but I just wonder whether it's worth it, especially for children... Best of luck though!

KatyMac Sat 30-Oct-10 21:13:59

It's beautiful when just washed - I use conditioner no shampoo

Then we oil it with oil moisturising lotion - it goes into lovely fat curls

But a day later it is frizz & even if we reapply the lotion it doesn't work

DTI10 Sat 30-Oct-10 23:23:27

Hi all,

Mixed Chicks is very good.

I had my hair straightened from the age of 13 and it takes just as much maintenance.

Not sure of the answer really but I have experimented with everything and can only endorse a bit of vaseline slicked through the hair (not scalp).

Why are you not using Shampoo?

KatyMac Sun 31-Oct-10 07:20:04

It makes her hair & scalp much drier

It was something advised on the mixed race hair thread on here & it has made a massive difference

I just wish I could keep it that hydrated the rest of the time

DTI10 Sun 31-Oct-10 14:44:51


I have just returned from my monthly trek to London to have my 3 hour hair treatment! The hairdresser suggested to spray "Quenched Curls" daily moisturiser onto the hair and a little bit of "Mixed Chicks" rubbed into the hair (not the scalp).

Hope that helps!


KatyMac Sun 31-Oct-10 15:43:13

DTI10 is that each day or when she washes it?

It looks lovely

DTI10 Sun 31-Oct-10 16:03:15

Daily use for the Quenched Curls - it is liquid, not slimy (I tried it on my hand!!).

Mixed Chicks - Leave in conditioner which she said to use on the hair after washing. I use it on mine and it has worked so far but not mixed it with the QC! - Confusing.

You can order it online too - Amazon or www . Afrotherapy . com.

KatyMac Sun 31-Oct-10 16:15:55

I've found it (afrotherapy) & I'm getting a tangle teaser too

DD is doing her hair atm - it takes hours

DTI10 Sun 31-Oct-10 16:19:56

It takes hours to do my hair too. I make a trek to London every month just to get someone else to do it at great cost!

I have tried every product on this planet. I wish I had never had my hair straightened sometimes. If your daughter is fussy with her hair then I am sure she will be able to manage it when she is ready.

Perhaps putting a headband (or wrap) at night will keep the moisture in too!

Let me know how you/she gets on with those products. Fingers crossed for you.

KatyMac Sun 31-Oct-10 16:26:31

She wears a scarf at night - but it still drys out

She uses this which is nice; but I think she needs to use it daily atm as her hair is so dry

DTI10 Sun 31-Oct-10 16:31:07

In my humble opinion that product is too thick and makes the hair clumpy! You will need to do an awful lot of combing through with Soft and Beautiful.

I think she needs a more liquid based/oil (but not overtly oily product).

Is the scarf a pure silk one?

Gosh, I am beginning to sound like my hairdresser!!

KatyMac Sun 31-Oct-10 16:33:13

No it's nylon.....very nylon does that make a difference?

KatyMac Sun 31-Oct-10 16:34:44

I think there is a photo on my profile & also here is a link to some

Thanks for your help

DTI10 Sun 31-Oct-10 16:42:06

Awww KatyMac how beautiful and graceful your daughter is! Her hair looks lovely.

A silk scarf is 100% better than anything else. Other materials tag at the hair during sleep.

Hope that helps you both. Keen to know if the products work.


KatyMac Sun 31-Oct-10 16:59:34

I have ordered the stuff & next Sunday we will try the new stuff

I will update the thread

KatyMac Sat 06-Nov-10 11:40:35

We used the quenched curls & it has made er look like a poodle & her hair is very crispy (iykwim)

But we will try again after the mixed chicks when we wash

DTI10 Sat 06-Nov-10 13:44:23

KatyMac - Did you put the quenched curls on wet or dry hair? Daily? Don't use it anymore if your DD hair's has gone crispy (I know exactly what you mean).

Hopefully the shampoo will make a difference - keen to know.

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