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Miscarred and surrounded by pregnant friends!

(4 Posts)
McRobb Fri 01-Jul-05 13:22:47

I miscarried in April this year and thought that I was coping really well with it. However, four friends are now pregnant and while I'm really happy for them I was shocked at my reaction. I was unable to make eye contact with one friend because I felt jealous and ashamed that I was jealous. One friend has asked to meet up and I'm not sure I can cope with spending time with her as she loves being pregnant.

No immediate plans to try again but I would like to try next year, I'm feeling broody now and know it is sensible to wait as I'm getting married in December and have a big honeymoon booked. I know I am so lucky but I can't help feeling down. Does anybody have any advice on how to deal with pregnant friends without being rude or insensitive to them?

angelkiss Fri 01-Jul-05 14:59:28

I totally feel for you. I had 3 miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy and everytime it happened it seemed like the whole world had a baby or was pregnant. I felt exactly the same as you.

All I can say is just be honest with them...tell them it's difficult spending time with them & that while you're happy for them, you're having a bit of a tough time at the moment. It does get easier. Your good friends will understand, whether they've had miscarriages or not.

You're right to wait and try, although just go with what you feel is best. It will happen, so stay strong and keep smiling (and understand that you will have bad days)

Moosmum Sat 02-Jul-05 12:34:04

I had a miscarriage three weeks ago at 11 and a half weeks. In my group of friends there are 8 women who are pregnant and in the last week my two best friends have given birth.

I smile and coo at the new babies, sympathise with the pregnant ladies and then go home and cry.

I fully understand how you feel.

Big hugs to you.

throckenholt Sat 02-Jul-05 13:08:26

If you can't face them - then send them a note saying you are very happy for them - but are surprised how jealous you feel. And say you will be in touch when you have more control of your emotions.

I am sure they are feeling bad because they might be upsetting you. It is no-one's fault - just one of life's meaner situations.

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