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What did you to get through the worst?

(4 Posts)
Scatt Thu 29-Oct-09 13:55:09

I had an ERPC Mon, my second m/c this year. I've talked to as many friends as I can, cried as much as I can, read the Lesley Regan book, bought pregnancy tests to get ready for next time, still feel sad and empty. I'm just stuck thinking about that moment when the sonographer broke the news. I know it's early days - but what did you do that helped you through the worst?


YouKnowHumanBonesCrunch Thu 29-Oct-09 13:57:59

I named her. Which helped me accept my loss as "real" IYSWIM. And then I planted a tree for her so I have a place to go to think about her if I need to.

I'm really sorry for your loss xx

kissmummy Thu 29-Oct-09 14:49:39

different things each time. after the third miscarriage we went on holiday. it didn't really work - i cried every morning. after learning about this latest one (two weeks ago) i've absolutely thrown myself into booking appointments with experts and therapists and even investigating surrogacy.
it's been a way of coping for me, but i still feel terrible and know i'll feel like this for a long long time. i talk about it a lot to close friends. and posting on mumsnet has been a huge help.
i saw a counsellor for an hour on tuesday. it was quite helpful (though not sure it was £110 worth of helpful? hmm )and she suggested i do or make something to acknowledge/remember my lost babies. i'm sort of in the process of doing that now. until now i have tried not to think of them as babies as i was scared it would open the emotional floodgates. one thing i've been very focused on this time round is taking one day at a time. it's a cliche, but it is actually quite a helpful philisophy. if you see getting through each day, as happily as possible, as your aim, then it's less overwhelming. if you start thinking about the months and years ahead, for me anyway, it felt a lot more difficult.

Scatt Thu 29-Oct-09 20:07:45

thanks for your posts - I think I need to do something to commemorate this pregnancy. A tree is a lovely idea. I'd named my 'not quite' bump so maybe I'll name the tree after the wee one.

sorry I just noticed the typo in my title - my head is so all over the place now, I have the concentration span of a flea.

I'm going to see a miscarriage counceller too, so hopefully that'll help. Luckily the hospital has one, I can't believe you had to pay for one kissmummy, that's terrible.

I'm off to lose myself in tv, must stop reading about miscarriage, it's not helping!


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