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My bf just told me she had a miscarriage - What can I do to help her, ease the pain ?

(13 Posts)
DeathbySummerfruit Tue 27-Oct-09 14:25:22

She didnt know she was pregnant, it came as a huge shock..what can I do to cheer her up a little ? I'm in pieces on her behalf, so please excuse me if my post doesnt make sense.

SpeckledHen Tue 27-Oct-09 14:39:05

I've had 5 mcs. I would say just be there for her and let her talk. Let her know you care.

IsItMeOr Tue 27-Oct-09 14:47:27

What SpeckledHen said. I wouldn't expect to be able to cheer her up, but just be there if she wants to talk. She might not want to. But do keep in touch with her and keep on doing the kinds of things the two of you have enjoyed doing together in the past.

It will get better in time, honestly.

DeathbySummerfruit Tue 27-Oct-09 15:49:32

Thank you girls. I'm going to do exactly just that, do you think I could offer her a spa treatment, like massage or facial just to realx her a little ?

Kazzac69 Tue 27-Oct-09 15:57:50

Hi Deathbysummerfruit

You're a fabulous friend for supporting her. You just have to listen to her and realise that she's suffered a loss, many people trivilise miscarriages when they haven't been through it themselves but it was her baby.


DeathbySummerfruit Tue 27-Oct-09 16:01:57

Thanks Kazza, I have just texted her to let her know that if she needs a chat I'm here for her anytime. Thank you again Kazza

EllieG Tue 27-Oct-09 16:04:15

Texting her is good as she may not want to talk but just want to know you are there.

My friend sent me an orchid - I knew, without her saying anything that she wanted me to have something lovely but that wouldn't die quickly like cut flowers do. That meant a lot to me.

EllieG Tue 27-Oct-09 16:04:58

And also - same as kazza - you sound like a lovely friend, and am sure whatever you do will be the right thing, as she will know you care

annie51 Tue 27-Oct-09 17:04:37

Buy her a little something as a memento, eg a gift box so that she can have a memory box maybe put a scan photo or a letter to baby in.

DeathbySummerfruit Tue 27-Oct-09 19:22:00

Thank once again for your kind suggestions !

DeathbySummerfruit Wed 28-Oct-09 08:49:27

I tought maybe I could pop in to her place and drop a box of her fav choccies and a voucher for a massage or facial and a hug obviously. Good or bad idea ?

EllieG Wed 28-Oct-09 09:23:22

Good idea. Can never be a bad thing to show someone you care, and her body may well be feeling like it's gone through the mill a bit, so a bit of pampering could do her the world of good.

DeathbySummerfruit Wed 28-Oct-09 09:37:55

Thanks Ellieg, I'm going to organise it this morning with 4 kids in tow !

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