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Just need to chat about my ectopic pregnancy

(9 Posts)
Appleton Mon 26-Oct-09 15:45:43

I don't really know why I'm writing this, but I think it might help to get my thoughts down.

I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks ago. The day after I did the test I had a little bleeding, but nothing too much. When I was pregnant with DD I had similar, so was cautious but hoped all would be OK. On Wednesday last week, the bleeding started again. It still wasn't enough to really worry me, but I called the Dr as I wanted to get a scan ASAP, just so I could know.

I got an appointment at the EPU on Friday. At first the sonographer said she couldn't see anything, but that it might be too early (I was only around 5w+6). Then suddenly there was a little sac. She did lots of the clicking to measure, and while she was doing this I could see a tiny heartbeat flickering. I was so relieved! Then I realised the sonographer hadn't said anything. After about 5 minutes she quietly said, "it's ectopic" and confirmed that it did have a heartbeat, but was in the wrong place. She even swept over my uterus to show that it was empty. I felt sick.

From then, I was kept at the EPU where they explained I had to stay in hosiptal and be operated on immediately - they were just waiting for a bed for me. I had a line put in my wrist, and bloods taken. The registrar told me I had to have a fallopian tube removed with the pregnancy. At first I didn't realise it would be different to a D&C, but then the surgeon was talking about keyhole surgery and that I might be in hospital for days - I'd never had a night apart from DD before, and the thought horrified me. And then I started having the thoughts of "what if" something goes wrong and I don't se DD again.

In the end, I had the surgery at 4.30pm the same day, having never left the hospital after the scan. I was home the next afternoon, and am now recovering at home. I think I'm still probably in shock, and haven't really processed the loss yet. I'm just glad I got home to be with DD quickly, as I was missing her so much.

After my surgery no one told me how it had gone until a gynae dr came and saw me the next day (I was told they would try and save the tube if the other looked damaged). The Dr read through the surgery notes, which said they hadn't checked my other tube as they'd mistakenly taken the probe out before checking it!!! So I just hope it's OK, or my chances of conceiving aren't so good! The Dr also shoved a colour pic of my ectopic pregnancy under my nose (without warning)- I was quite shocked!

Anyway, sorry if this is long and disjointed, I just wanted to share my experience, and maybe chat to others who have had similar. I am going to TTC again after the recommended 2 cycles, but trying to concentrate on healing for now. I know I was actually incredibly lucky that I didn't have any pain at all before the op, and that if I hadn't had the scan things could have been much, much worse.

Rossco Mon 26-Oct-09 15:50:30

I am sorry to hear about your loss.

I can't imagine what it must have been like for you to see that heart beat and be told in the next breath that it was in the wrong place.

What a very unfeeling doc to shove that picture under your nose!

EccentricaGallumbats Mon 26-Oct-09 15:54:19

sad sorry for your loss. It is shite. Give yourself lots of time to come to terms with what has happened and time to heal and grieve.

ectopic.org has loads of information and support.

theghastlyspectreoflissielou Mon 26-Oct-09 15:57:44

hi appleton, im sorry for your loss. i lost atube to an ep 2 years ago, and like you, saw the heartbeat briefly before we realised that it was in the wrong place. please allow yourself time to grieve and use mn as much as you like, i found the support and knowledge available here invaluable since. also, have you tried the ectopic trust? they are also very helpful. when is your follow up appointment? and think you should issue complaint about the pic, not very sensitive angry

Appleton Mon 26-Oct-09 16:34:26

Thanks guys. I have been lurking here for a few months (even lurked on the June antenatal thread - just glad I never joined it, and have managed to avoid morbidly looking at it so far!) I find it helpful that there are others that have gone through similar experiences, though it would be nice if none of us had to!

I had a MMC about 9 years ago, and was inconsolable for 2 weeks - I only found out a day before my 12 week scan that there was no baby then, and this time somehow doesn't feel so bad (so far!). Maybe cos I only had 2 weeks of thinking I might be pregnant this time, or because I have my daughter to concentrate on. Or maybe even because I'm now married, and know I can try again when I need to - last time was not planned at all, so the loss was weirdly even harder as I knew I wouldn't be having a baby for a very long time.

TBH, the picture thing shocked me, but if she'd asked I probably would have wanted to see it. I was more concerned about the fact they hadn't bothered to check my other tube before whipping the affected one out! And that for the whole night no one told me if I'd had a fallopian tube removed or not! It was v weird lying in bed trying to work out whether I thought it was there or not!

I've been looking at the ectopic trust website, and finding it useful. It's funny, the night before the scan I was thinking through all possible permutations (not finding anything, wrong size, etc) thinking I was preparing myself for the worst, and ectopic was not one of the options I had in my mind - or emergency surgery!

I am going crazy watching daytime TV already, and this is only day 1 off work! I'm not sure how long to take off - surgeon said 2 weeks, but I might go mad being at home that long!

Appleton Mon 26-Oct-09 16:39:57

Oh, and my follow up appointment is in 6 weeks. Will see what the consultant says about my other tube! The Dr who showed me the notes initially tried to say there was nothing in them about my other tube (when I asked) but then she showed me the notes and it said something like "not checked as scope inadvertantely removed". When I asked about wound care, she didn't know whether I had stitches that were dissolvable or needed to be removed - she "assumed" they were dissolvable, but hadn't been involved in the operation so couldn't be sure! It wasn't the best after-care, was it!

theghastlyspectreoflissielou Tue 27-Oct-09 19:58:51

oh sweetheart, that sounds dreadful. im a bit hmm about the standard of care youve recieved!

stephie101 Tue 27-Oct-09 20:58:25

Hi appleton, I'm sending you lots of love in this post, as you were going through yours I was going through mine on the exact days, it's tough, but I'm really surprised they didnt offer you the injection that I had,I'm glad I didnt have surgery, but i'm still really unsure of how things are with me, every pain every dizzy spell makes me bloody scared.
Just wanted to say I'm thnking of you, I was really fortunate to have a really good open and honest medical team around me, However if that had been shown to me, I would certainly make a complaint, but I understand that it may continue the pain emotionally....I hope things are ok with you.....xxxxx

Appleton Wed 28-Oct-09 15:21:52

ghastlyspectre thanks for the response. I seem to attract rubbish care - I went to see my GP today to get my sick line for work, and he didn't even check my wounds. All he did was ask if my husband was supportive as he wrote the note! (and was really uncomfortable when I cried!)

stephie101 I'm so sorry to hear you went through this too. I hope you're feeling OK today. I think I read that if HcG levels are too high, or if they detect a heartbeat then the injection isn't an option. I did ask about why they had to take the tube, but apparently it's the recommended action to take, and TBH I'm glad they did as I've since read alot of stories about subsequent ectopics where the tube isn't removed in surgery.

I'm feeling better physically today, but am having quite a few good cries. I haven't really been doing much crying since the operation, but now I'm healing I think my mind is turning to the loss. I just want to be able to try again, but know I have to wait the recommended time as I can't risk anything happening to my other tube now!

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