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i need one of you lovley ladies to come and tell me to snap out of it.

(6 Posts)
addictedtosuckingblood Tue 20-Oct-09 17:48:10

a little bit of background - in may i mc at 7 weeks. i picked myself up and moved on, started ttc again, i found out dh was having an affair so children have been put on hold for the forseable future.

i've recently de-registered as a childminder so today i have been putting all the toys and equiptment in the loft, and i found myself crying, just thinking about my baby. i would be almost 8 months now and i was just thinking i shouldnt be doing this. i should be getting this room ready for a new baby not putting this all away.

yesterday i went shopping and i couldnt buy anything for me, i just kept thinking i should be buying maternity clothes and baby clothes. i should be complaining because the maternity selection is rubbish. instead of buying clothes which i really need i bought a baby gro and a couple of bibs - which i obviously now need to return, but cant bring myself to - i dont even know why i did it. i just thought that will look really cute and bought them. whats wrong with me? i thought i was over this. i delt with it and moved on.

and again i'm sat here crying because i should be pregnant. i should be having my baby.

please someone tell me to move on and get over it.

luckywinner Tue 20-Oct-09 17:55:23

Addicted, that is the last thing I will say to you. Miscarriage is a tough thing to go to and can take time to get over. And the sense of loss can reappear at any time. It sounds like you have had a really tough few months, esp with dh. You have lost more than just a baby. I would like to be very unmumsnetty and give you a huge hug. I think you should wallow in how you are feeling. Snuggle up and eat chocolate and watch your favourite programme and feel sorry for yourself. Sounds a bit naff but I think sometimes if you don't go with how you are feeling, sometimes it comes back when you least expect it.

Its still very much in your head. Will be thinking of you.

Daynee Tue 20-Oct-09 17:57:54

addicted - First, I'm very sorry for your mc and dh troubles. It would seem to me that there's more to this than just wishing you were still pregnant? If it were me, I'd see the positive in what happened - I know that sounds insensitive but I do believe things happen for a reason and there's is something redeeming in everything bad that happens. Perhaps God (or whoever) did you a favor because of what your dh did to you. How could you feel truly happy having a child with someone who deceived you? If it were me, I think I'd be more concerned with what my dh did and how I would cope with that.

addictedtosuckingblood Tue 20-Oct-09 22:13:36

thankyou lucky, daynee i did think that when i first found out about dh but now i just fell really sad about it all again.

i'm curled up with some chocolate, a chick flick and mumsnet!

luckywinner Tue 20-Oct-09 22:35:51

How is your relationship with your dh now? You lost your baby and you also lost your relationship pre his affair. Even if you are still together, things have changed and it may take a while to recover from that. I suppose what I mean is they are both losses and you may still be grieving for one or both.

Glad you are indulging yourself. It is v important to be as kind to yourself as you can.

addictedtosuckingblood Wed 21-Oct-09 08:42:44

relationship with dh is much better than it was, were going to councelling together and taking every day slowly.

spoke to dh about it all yesterday, how i was feeling etc. and feel so much better today.

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