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3rd Miscarriage but all have been different. so they won't test me.

(10 Posts)
lulu78 Tue 20-Oct-09 16:56:31

Hi all looking for some help and advice and if anyone else has gone through the same. I have just had my 3rd miscarriage, went for a private scan at 10wks and was told they could see no heartbeat and the foetus only measured at 5wks 5days. Was booked in for a scan a week later at my local NHS and I should of been 11wks and they confirmed they could see no heartbeat and it looked like the foetus had gone. This has totally devasted me because this time I thought it was different, had no bleeding, no pain and felt really pregnant so to be told this has been totally shocking. With my previous 2 miscarriages I decided to have D&C. This time I want it to come away naturally but I think I am going to have to go in for a D&C because I still have had no bleeding or pain. I get scanned in 2wks to see. The nurse has said they won't look into testing me because all miscarriages have been different and I am just unlucky. My 1st m/c was with twins, had a scan at 7wks and they could only see one heart beat, 2wks later was scanned again and no heartbeats detected, decided to opt for D&C. 2nd M/c I started bleeding at 11wks, went for a scan and I only had the sac there which they called a blighted ovum, I waited to see if it would come away naturally and it didnt, went back 2wks later and sac had grown so had to go back in for D&C. 3rd m/c foeus stopped developing at 5wks 5days. Because all m/c have been different they wont test. Am I just unlucky or do I need some tests to find out why this keeps happening. I have an identical twin who has had a normal twin pregnancy. Just don't no what to do or think? Shall I try again or try to get some tests? I am nearly 31.

12nicola Tue 20-Oct-09 20:24:21

Hi
I am new to mumsnet so have not posted before, hope its ok to just jump in. I am so sorry for your loss, miscarriage is just horrible.

I just wanted to let you know of my experience, as it was similar to yours. I had a healthy DD but then had 3 miscarriages, all different, like yours. I didn't have tests because the middle one was a partial molar pregnancy and so there was an explanation and I was told that it had to be 3 unexplained miscarriages. I'm not sure why they won't test you as surely most miscarriages are different in terms of how many weeks you are?

Anyway, to cut a long story short, after my miscarriages I tried again and had a little boy. You are younger than I was and the fact that your miscarriages happened early on in the pregnancies means that it probably is down to incredibly bad luck. You have every chance of having a healthy pregnancy and baby. Have you read Lesley Regan's book about miscarriage? I found it really helpful and reassuring. I also went to a miscarriage association support group which helped a lot.

I'm so sorry for what you are going through, I will never forget how awful it feels,

I hope I have done the right thing in posting to you,

Nicola

sakura28 Tue 20-Oct-09 21:29:51

Hi lulu,
I'm really sorry to hear about what has happened to you. It sounds really difficult and I know from experience that the not knowing what is 'wrong' is so frustrating.
I'm afraid that I can't offer any words of wisdom about testing, but wondered if you have spoken to your doctor? Mine has been really helpful so far and I hope yours might be too.
Also, similar to what Nicola said, I have contacted the Miscarriage Association for support and they have really helped me. Just in case you might need it.
Best wishes to you
xxx

lulu78 Wed 21-Oct-09 11:17:15

Thanks for your kind msgs 12nicola & sakura28. I have an appointment with my doc today to see if she can refer me. I want to try again to see if I can have a healthy pregnancy but i am so scared incase it happens again. I am also thinking about taking a low dose asprin to see if that helps especially as they have said they wont test. I have the number for miscarriage association so will give them a ring and I will get the Lesley Regan's book to read. I keep seeing her name pop up on this website. Thanks again will let you know how it goes, hopefully I will be like you 12nicole 4th time lucky.

12nicola Wed 21-Oct-09 20:04:18

I'm glad you are seeing your gp, mine was really supportive. I really hope you get some answers and I am sure you will have a successful pregnancy in the future. I will never forget how terrified I was each time, trying again, but it will be worth it in the end,
Nicola

sakura28 Wed 21-Oct-09 21:41:54

Best of luck lulu, and good luck with your doc, hope they are helpful.
I know what you mean about being scared to try again, I have had 2 mc's this year and am still trying to get pregnant but find the thought having to go through another mc so scary, I don't know how/if I can handle it. I suppose our choices are pretty clear tho, either we keep trying or don't and I know I really want to be a mum! grin Good luck to you if you do decide to keep ttc.
I've also seen Lesley Regans book mentioned on this website a few times so let me know what you think of it if you get it please!

xxx

lulu78 Thu 22-Oct-09 10:19:22

Well...! the docs went really well. She has referred me for some tests, I get to choose out of 4 hospitals which is good. I am going to have a read of them all but 3 of them are just for the gynaecology ward and the other 1 is for recurrent miscarriages which I think I am going to choose this one. Appointment is for 5th November so not long now. Looking forward to hopefully getting some answers but I am nervous. Does anyone no if they will test me straight away or will this just be a consultation? x x

sakura28 Thu 22-Oct-09 22:10:10

Yay! So pleased that your doc was helpful and gave you some choices too.
Also good news that you won't have to wait too long, I hope that the 5th nov comes quickly for you
I'm afraid that I don't have any answers about testing, not had any done myself but best of luck with the appointment, let us know how you get on?

Best wishes xxx

mmrred Thu 22-Oct-09 22:38:38

Just wanted to say I know how you feel and it is great that you can do something positive in terms of tests and investigation - just don't get your hopes up. Mostly they don't find a reason and I had 8 m/c's between DD (15) and DS (2) and never found out why. It's very frustrating and I think if they were honest Doc's would just admit it was a bit of a mystery.

Good Luck.

lulu78 Fri 23-Oct-09 11:21:03

Thanks all for your messages. Will let you know how the appointment goes on the 5th.

mmrred - Thanks for your response.
Im not going to get my hopes up with the tests, I think if all came back negative with the test that will at least put my mind to rest that it is nothing me or my body is lacking and can then put it down to incrediable bad luck and the pregnancy wasnt meant to be because it didn't devlop properly. Thanks again. x x

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