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having 4th miscarriage

(31 Posts)
daisytaylor Sat 17-Oct-09 22:53:34

I am 30 and last friday i was told i had a missed miscarriage. I should of been 9 weeks but scan said 6+2 and no heart beat. That evening i started bleeding and now its starting to get heavier and i'm passing some small clots too. Although this is my 4th m/c this is still new to me. My first was at 13 weeks and i had a d&c, my 2nd was a blighted ovum and also a d&c. i then went on to have 4 healthy children and then 2 years ago i fell pg with twins but sadly 1 was in my tube and 1 in my womb and i lost both at 7 weeks. I was lucky to keep my tube. Now 2 years on another m/c. Does anyone know how long the bleeding will go on for and if this sounds normal. My last i m/c naturally and it took 3 weeks but i haven't had a missed m/c before. My first 2 i never bled at all untill after the d&c. Also i am really scared to get pregnant again after all this.

PacificWerewolfwoohood Sat 17-Oct-09 22:59:18

So sorry for you current loss and of course also your previous lost pregnancies sad.
I have no practical advice as I had D+Cs with my 4 MMCs, but did not want to leave your post unanswered. I am sure somebody will be along to answer your question about how long to expect bleeding.
Look at your contraceptive options when you have recovered from this and in the meantime just be kind to yourself. I hope you have somebody to look after you.
Best wishes.

daisytaylor Sat 17-Oct-09 23:08:45

Thankyou so much for your reply, i have a great hubby taking care of me and some real good friends. Thanks again.

PacificWerewolfwoohood Sat 17-Oct-09 23:24:02

Quick bump before I go to bed.
Hope you feel better tomorrow.

kissmummy Sun 18-Oct-09 19:22:22

hi daisy, just wondering how you're doing this evening?
i so understand your anxiety about getting pregnant again. it's hard to imagine voluntarily exposing yourself to the risk of more misery after going through such a lot. you are incredibly blessed to have four children - i hope they are giving you comfort and strength.

LunaticFringe Sun 18-Oct-09 19:58:03

Message withdrawn

daisytaylor Sun 18-Oct-09 20:52:29

Hi there, thankyou to all for your messages. I was told on friday 9th oct and today my bleeding has all of a sudden got heavier and for the first time i had a really painfull cramp in my stomach which lasted about 20 minutes and today i have passed alot of clots. Some quite small and some a little bigger but not too big, pain has gone but bleeding is still quite heavy, hoping it will start to calm down soon. Not sure if i have passed the baby or sac yet. Last time i passed a rather large clot. When i had my scan they could see the sac, yolk sac and fetal pole so it was very small. Its so nice to have some support from people that understand what i am going through. And yes my kids give me alot of strength and certainly help me smile again. bless them.

peanutpie Sun 18-Oct-09 21:22:06

Daisytaylor - I had a natural mc on Friday and it took about 3/4 days.
It started with browny discharge on Tuesday evening which got gradually heavier with little clots. On Friday afternoon it got really heavy over a few hours and I was having crampy pains on off for an hour or two until I passed the sac. It was quite big and different to the clots. I just hung round in bed and also got in the bath, I could tell something was about to happen as I felt pretty weird and not like walking around or talking much. I had to keep the sac and then take it to the hospital after it had happened.

Sorry this is a bit graphic, but I hope it is helpful. I hope you don't have to wait too long now. I felt relieved when it was over. It's a horrible time isn't it.

daisytaylor Sun 18-Oct-09 21:40:46

Hi peanutpie, yes this does help as although this is my 4th mc i never bled with my first 2 as i had d&c's and last time i lost a very big clot which they said was the pregnancy so this time i'm very unsure whats what. From what you say i think its starting to come away i just can't stand being in this limbo. I feel the need to get back to normal if thats the right word to use. I just can't believe i'm going through this again and i wonder if i am lacking something as earlier in the year i suffered from a folate deficiency and it took me ages to fall pregnant. When this over my doctors is going to run some blood tests which i'm hoping will help.

Thankyou sooo much for your info and i am so sorry for your loss too, its good we can all support each other.

kissmummy Sun 18-Oct-09 22:21:57

peanutpie that's interesting that you were able to take the sac to the hospital - presumably for testing? can i ask what stage of pregnancy you were at, and also, whether you had to get it to the hospital quickly so they could preserve it, or whether you could just take it the next day? did you have to pay for this service?

peanutpie Mon 19-Oct-09 13:09:02

daisytaylorhow are things going today? I hope that things have moved forward. I think being in limbo is very difficult

kissmummy I was 10 weeks by my calculations but the sac size was about 5/6 weeks. In the past they've wanted to see the sac to check it was in tact and that there wasn't likely to be anything left that could lead to infection. However this time they also talked about doing some tests on it to see if they can find any reasons for the miscarriage. However they have warned me that the baby was so tiny (3/4mm) that this may be difficult. I took it in about 2 hours after I had the miscarriage on a Friday evening. The doctor said that they would need to keep it in the fridge until Monday as the labs would be closed. I didn't have to pay for this they just offered it when I said it was my third miscarriage. There was a bit of discussion later about it not being 3 concecutive, only a third miscarriage, but they still said they would do the tests. I was slightly amazed as I've never found them that helpful in the past!

kissmummy Mon 19-Oct-09 14:11:01

peanutpie thanks for the info. did the tests reveal anything in the end or not really?
if i end up having a D+C the hospital did say they could do some tissue testing but it was all a bit vague and i was left with the feeling it wouldn't actually happen

PacificWerewolfwoohood Mon 19-Oct-09 14:18:11

I had "products of conception" (don't y'all just love that expression hmm) sent for genetic analysis for MMCs 2-4. They all had (different) things wrong with them which had nothing to do with the known chromosomal problem I carry. The results kind of made me feel better as they showed it was not "my fault". Irrational, I know, but there you go...
If you have an evac after MC, particularly if it is not your first MC, it is certainly worthwhile asking to have the tissue sent for analysis. If it is a MMC, sometimes the tissue is too degraded already to do anything with it, so not guarantees that you will get an answer.

daisytaylor Mon 19-Oct-09 14:25:14

Hi there, not feeling too great today as now bleeding alot heavier since yesterday and had a ruff night. Now losing lots of clots and getting some more cramps. My poor hubby finished a night shift at 7am and came in got the kids up and took the kids to school for me and now in bed. I feel so useless today i've just been wrapped up in a blanket and watching tv. My god its boring and i hardly ever watch tv during the day. But at least it seems to be happening on its own and hopefully i won't need any intervention.
Having the support on here is really helping me get through this, thankyou to all. How are you all doing today?

PacificWerewolfwoohood Mon 19-Oct-09 20:44:37

daisy, sorry to hear you are having a rubbish day today sad.
Have you discovered Comedy Central channel (Sky 126) yet? Lots of rubbish American comedy on there, got me through a lot of lying on sofa/feeling rubbish/BFing boredom.
Take regular pain relief, keep resting, if you are feeling unwell/fluey/feverish you must seek medical advice just incase there is an infection brewing.

Hope tomorrow is a better day.

peanutpie Mon 19-Oct-09 23:08:49

Hi daisy taylor, sorry that you are struggling and I hope that it is over soon.

I've felt knackered today. I had a super emotional day yesterday and I've just felt drained.

daisytaylor Tue 20-Oct-09 09:57:54

Hi all, feeling a little better today and the bleeding is still heavy but not as bad as yesterday. I have no energy to do anything but i think thats just the way all this makes you feel. All my friends seem to have all stopped talking now and i guess in their world i should be over it now and they don't realise i'm still going through it. Its a very lonely feeling when your phone doesn't ring anymore but at least the cat comes and keeps me company everyday smile.

Hi pacific, i love comedy central and also i like watching the good life on gold. That has me in stitches and really cheers me up.

Hi peanutpie, i know how you mean with being emotional, i was very teary the other night. Kids were in bed and hubby at work and i just felt the need to have a really good cry but i felt alot better afterwards. It was like a release for me. Like you i am feeling very tired at the mo and not got alot of get up and go.

Thanks again everyone for all your very much needed support.

Daynee Tue 20-Oct-09 18:18:30

You're 30 and have 4 children? My goodness love! All I can say is I've miscarried naturally 3 times and it lasted as long as a period, only the bleeding on the first few days was extremely heavy with large clots and cramps were pretty damn bad. You usually bleed a little bit a whole week before the actual heavy miscarriage starts.
I'm scared to get pregnant too. I'm 32, no children, and 4 miscarriages. I don't even want to have 4 children - just 2 or 3 would be fine!

PacificWerewolfwoohood Tue 20-Oct-09 20:16:50

Disclaimer: I realise no individual story says anything about anybody elses chances of successful pregnancy, but feel compelled to add to all you youngsters a bit of positivity:
I had 3 MMCs first, genetic problem diagnosed, had DS1 aged 37, DS2 aged 28, further MMC, DS3 aged 42 and am expecting DS4 when I am just a smidgen off my 44th birthday. And no, having exclusively boys is not my genetic problem...wink
Sorry, do not mean to be flippant, I suppose what I am trying to say is, keep the faith, sisters.
Thinking of you, daisy smile.

kissmummy Tue 20-Oct-09 21:48:41

daynee my heart goes out to you. it must seem like anyone who has any children at all can't complain.
I constantly remind myself how amazingly lucky i am to have one child - the more miscarriages i have, the more of a miracle he seems.
I know what i have been through would be SO much harder to bear without my son, and i feel so sorry for you - what you've suffered is completely unfair.
obviously daisytaylor is lucky to have lots of lovely children already, but think it's all about "expectation' - if you always thought you'd have four children, you're devastated if you can only have three; or if you always hoped for five, four don't seem enough - etc. it's all about what you imagined your life would be like, i suppose...
hope you're doing okay today.

kcoffin27 Wed 21-Oct-09 09:57:30

daisytayloy hope your feeling better today. I feel your pain im currently going through my 6th mc. Had a scan friday should of been 11 weeks, but was showing as 8 with no heartn
beat. This was really hard as I had a scan when I was 8 weeks and it had a heartbeat, even got a picture. Im booked in for erpc on friday morning.

kissmummy Wed 21-Oct-09 12:24:10

kcoffin poor you. i don't think i've seen you post on this board before? how are you doing? have you had any tests to see if they can find a problem? there is nothing more utterly desolating than that moment when they tell you there's no heartbeat sad

daisytaylor Wed 21-Oct-09 14:10:54

Hi all, i am doing alot better today, i have a scan tomorrow to check that i won't need a d&c. Still bleeding but not as heavy. I have to point out and i am sorry if i offend but i had 2 mc's before i had my children and the pain of losing a baby is just as hard to bare even when you already have children. I do feel very blessed to have my 4 children and i can also understand how hard it is to cope when you haven't got a child already, having my children around me at a time like this has really been a huge help.
I do want a big family. I would like to also so say how sorry i am for your losses and daynee i really pray that one day you will get to hold your baby. My sister inlaw had 12 miscarriages and also lost 3 sets of twins. She now has 3 nearly grown up children, nothing is impossible.

peanutpie Wed 21-Oct-09 16:15:23

I had 2 mc and problems conceiving before my son was born. I've just had my first miscarriage trying to have a second child. From my limited experience, it's all absolutely horrible, painful, scary and desolate! Lots of love and caring vibes to anyone struggling with this...

daisytaylor Glad the bleeding has eased and I hope the scan goes OK tomorrow.

kissmummy you asked a little while ago about test results, but I haven't had anything yet. They said it would be ages for the result. I don't have much confidence to tell the truth.

daisytaylor Thu 22-Oct-09 13:51:02

Hi all, well it has now been 2 weeks since i was told of mmc and and 2 weeks since the bleeding started. Had another scan today and was told that sac is still there. Can't believe it after how heavy its been. I now have until the 3rd of november and if it's still there i will most likely need the d&c which i am really not happy about. Back to waiting i guess.

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