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is this anger normal?

(4 Posts)
crapmother Sun 04-Oct-09 23:08:36

Just need to voice my thoughts really.Been trying for a baby for 7 years, had miscarriage at 9 wks six years ago and then another at 10 wks two weeks ago. This time around, instead of crying like my first time I just feel so bloody angry. At everything and everyone. Everyone gets on my nerves so much, I have to constantly bite my tongue, especially when I see someone having a go at their children. Also I just want to be by myself, can't be bothered to talk small talk to anyone, who gives a shit about my sister's broken boiler, blah, blah, blah. I just wanna go live in a cave by myself. Unfortunately most of my anger seems to be directed at my DP. Right now everything about him is driving me nuts, It's like I've gone off him all of a sudden, when he wants sex I feel like telling him to fuck off but instead I lay there like a sack of spuds. He says my bitterness is driving a wedge between us. Who cares! Anyone else felt like this, does it pass? He wants us to try for another baby asap but really I just want to get in my car and drive as far away as possible.

lilmissmummy Mon 05-Oct-09 00:06:31

I think that grief effects us in different ways. You have every right to be angry and it is going to take time to get over the miscarriages that you have suffered. Have you thought about seeing a counsellor, someone that can help you work through your anger. Counselling has worked wonders for me through other things in my life and I am seriously considering going back to help me deal with my miscarriage.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

Good luck. X

ClaudiaW Mon 05-Oct-09 21:57:27

Dear Ms Angry,
Your rage is completly reasonable and understandable. Let it out! You are angry at the world and why would you not be? For me,
throwing breakables (try the bottle bank) and power walking (just leave saying 'I'm going and I don't know when I'll be back' for maximum dramatic effect!)are good. Having a bitch with a sympathetic friend is good too. Your dp must understand that 'angry you' is just how you feel sometimes, not who you are.
Wishing you hugs and all the best for your future.

vtiredmummy Wed 07-Oct-09 18:20:12

Your story rang true with me...

I had a missed mc three weeks ago, my second this year. I spent a week or so crying a lot, and I still burst into tears fairly regularly now. But the overwhelming feeling is ANGER!!!

Only yesterday I was in a meeting at work and I had to bite my lip so hard when someone moaned on and on about a light glaring in the office and being a bit too bright for her. I wanted to shout that she hadn't got a clue what real problems are and she should think herself lucky if the worst thing in her life at the moment was a glaring light!

And I get angry about people who have terminations, people who are pregnant, people who can keep their babies inside of them when I can't...

However...I started bereavement counselling last week and I really would recommend you book some up if you can. It was explained that anger is the second stage of grief. That I (and you) have every right to be feeling like this. It is just important to acknowledge you are having these feelings and not beat yourself up about them. And it doesn't matter how long you take to get through this stage because each of us is different.

I hope this has been some help. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in the feelings you are having. Wishing you all the best for whatever you decide to do in the future.

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