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Am I over-reacting? Please advise

(5 Posts)
BlackRock21 Fri 02-Oct-09 10:13:39

I have now had 5 miscarriages - the last was 6 days ago and I was about 4 weeks pregnant. I knew instantly what was happening and tried to carry on as usual and act as if I was ok - it was the only way I knew how to deal with it. I haven't cried; I know that if I start it will open up the rawness of all the other miscarriages. I have only told hubby, 2 of my friends and my Mum about number 5.

Anyway, a few days ago I was speaking to a new friend about m/s. She'd had one a few years ago and was lovely about it; very understanding and really 'got it'. Mid conversation, another friend walked over; desperate to join in she started the story of how when she was pregnant with her son, the doctor told her she was miscarrying as she was bleeding very heavily. She then said 'I still can't believe it when I look at him now - I'm so lucky he's here'. Now; to me, that was just a kick in the teeth. She's meant to be my friend but instead of butting out of a conversation that had nothing to do with her (she has never lost any babies), she rubbed the fact that she can have babies in my face.

I've been avoiding her for a few days now, but we are a close group and she's going to realise soon that I'm upset. I really don't know how to deal with this?

Am I over-reacting because of number 5 or is she being a bitch?



MmeGoblindt Fri 02-Oct-09 10:18:21

She was a bit insensitive, but I don't think that she was rubbing it in your face.

She sounds like she wanted to tell you that she understood the fear of a threatening m/c but went about it in a clumsy way. She did not know that the topic is so close to your heart at the moment.

Speak to her, or if you cannot talk to her, send her an email explaining that you were upset by her comment.

I am sorry about your m/cs.

StealthPolarBear Fri 02-Oct-09 10:26:48

I think you're right that she badly judged it in getting involved. However I don't think she was trying to rub your nose in it, I think she was trying to emphasise that she knows she's lucky as opposed to taking her DS for granted iyswim. I do feel the same - but I agree that probably wasn't the time to mention it.
So sorry to hear about your losses

BlackRock21 Fri 02-Oct-09 14:14:28

Thank you. I have now had time to reflect and agree that she was, in her way, trying to sympathize. I'm going to tell her what's happened and how she upset me and hopefully she'll be a little more sensitive in future...

StealthPolarBear Fri 02-Oct-09 16:55:28

good plan

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