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I don't know what to do and v. upset

(17 Posts)
lisajw Thu 01-Oct-09 13:04:13

Hi, I am new here and could really use some outside advice please.
I went for my scan this week at what I had worked out to be around 13 wks. (earliest 1st app. with midwife not until october 6, so i am guessing by my dates)
I was told that my baby had no heartbeat and was smaller than it should be. I was completely shocked and in floods of tears so was whisked away to a another room. I was told here that I could let nature take its course or have the D/C op. I never got to see the scan for myself but my DH said that it wasn't the clearest pic he had ever seen for a scan. (I never had an internal scan) I numbly booked in for the op but now after a couple of days am regretting it. I have all the symptons of still being pregnant (sickness, heartburn, etc) I have never had any indication that anything was wrong, no bleeding cramps etc. I don't know if this is normal. When I m/c years ago it was obvious from the start. I have been told by hospital that they won't do another scan before the op, now I keep wondering what if they might be wrong..I know it is probably a fools hope, but without seeing that scan for myself I would always be wondering. I really don't know what to do. Has anyone been through anything like this? Sorry for rambling on and thanks.

MummyLau Thu 01-Oct-09 13:48:15

Hiya, so sorry about what you're going through. I have been through miscarriage but havent been told what you've been told. but why don't you buy a heart beat thingy from boots? it can't be that hard to use? or book for a 3d scan which is quite alot of money. I know you'd be wondering forever, so why dont you put your mind at ease? it'd help you maybe to say goodbye???

igivein Thu 01-Oct-09 14:03:04

I had the D/C after a missed miscarriage. On the morning of the op, the consultant did a scan to confirm the baby had died, I wouldn't have been prepared to proceed without it. I would insist that this is done.
The scan I had was using a portable scanner, perhaps they meant you wouldn't have an appointment for a further scan at the ante natal clinic?

ConFuschias Thu 01-Oct-09 14:06:07

A home sonicaid won't pick up a heartbeat until around 16 weeks, so I doubt is the right solution for you.

The hospital should do another scan before the op - in fact, you should insist on it. Because I know someone who went through a dreadful situation when that didnt happen.

Good luck.

mosschops30 Thu 01-Oct-09 14:09:07

lisa - I would demand a scan before procedding with the op. Im not getting your hopes up and its unlikely (although not impossible) that they have made a mistake.
Speak to a senior midwife or consultant at the hospital to discuss your fears.
I wouldnt recommend a heart beat monitor from boots, dopplers are hard enough for health professionals to use, and will only increase your anxiety and maybe give you a false indication of no heartbeat.

You can of course pay for a private scan, at my local private hospital these are about £120 for a routine scan which is what you'd need.

Im so sorry youre going through this, and your anxiety is completely understandable

waspylady Thu 01-Oct-09 14:34:51

Hi Lisa
I'm really sorry to hear that you are having such a bad time.
I went for a scan at a private clinic at 7+5 when they said that they pregnancy had not developed and diagnosed a mmc. I saw the monitor and could clearly see that there wasn't a developing pregnancy.
I then went to my GP and was referred to have a D & C at the hospital. They wanted to do a scan first which confirmed the findings. They then booked the D & C but said that they would do a further scan on the day to double check.

In the end nature took it's course before I got to the op but they have since given me another scan to check all it well.

It seems v unusual that you would not be offered a further scan. I think you should phone the hospital/pregnancy unit, explain how you feel and insist on another scan.

I wouldn't want to offer you false hope either as it is unlikely they made a mistake but for your own peace of mind you need to see the evidence for yourself.

Good luck, I hope you manage to sort something out.

lisajw Thu 01-Oct-09 20:54:54

Hi,
Thanks for the advice from you all, it is very appreciated.
I asked if there would be a scan to double check before the op and was told no! This didn't seem right to me and has only added to my grief and anger. I was told though that if I left it to nature and nothing happened after 2 wks then they would scan before doing a D/C.? If I have lost my baby I don't think I can cope with waiting that long to be told the same thing.
I can't afford a private scan, but after a lot of thought and reading your advice I am going to ring up the hospital tomorrow and explain to them that I need to have another scan for my own peace of mind. I just hope they don't refuse it as I am booked in for Tuesday and it doesn't give me much time to argue it out.
I will let you know how I get on.

FabBakerGirlIsSURVIVED Thu 01-Oct-09 21:01:47

Don't have the d and c without someone very experienced doing the scan.

I was booked in for one after losing my baby but thank God the medic was called away as my lost baby is currently asleep in his ben 10 pjs.

HappyBump Fri 02-Oct-09 11:18:41

I had a mmc at 13 weeks discovered at the scan. Like you I didn't really get a clear look at the scan and I did have some element of doubt. I was scheduled for a D&C a week later but nature took it's course and I miscarried naturally a few days later.

Although initially I was very insistent I had to have a D&C I was actually a bit relieved that it happened naturally because although the process was pretty horrible it meant that I was sure the scan information was correct and my baby had died.

If it doesn't start naturally before Tuesday hopefully the EPU unit will be understanding and will scan you beforehand just to give you peace of mind.

Take care.

herjazz Fri 02-Oct-09 11:29:13

sorry you are going through this. I wouldn't go through erpc if I wasn't 100% sure baby had died and I didn't have full confidence and trust in situation / people caring for me

I had mmc earlier this year. I did not have a scan before the erpc procedure but at the scan prior to this, I had a mw, sonographer, SpR and consultant all coming to check. The consultant showed me the screen and I could clearly see there was no hb (there had been a week previously, and on 2 scans before that)

If there were any element of doubt I would rather wait and see. Natural management is one of the options also - its not as though you HAVE to have erpc

take care

lisajw Fri 02-Oct-09 13:04:59

Hi,
Just to let you all know that I rang up the day care sister on the ward that I am booked into for Tuesday. I told her everything about how I am feeling and luckily she was extremely nice and understanding. She has managed to squeeze me in on Monday for a scan at the early pregnancy assessment unit, not the ultrasound department I went to last time.
I am quite prepared to accept the worst, but at least now I won't be left with any doubts about it all.
Thanks again for all the replies, it has been a great help and comfort.

FabBakerGirlIsSURVIVED Fri 02-Oct-09 13:14:23

That is good news.

Take care.

jardins Fri 02-Oct-09 16:45:42

Sorry for the thread hijack! HappyBump I just wanted to say hello and how are you doing? Did you have a good break in the UK over summer?

Lisajw I am really sorry about your news. Be kind to yourself and well done for getting another scan booked in. Good luck

HappyBump Sat 03-Oct-09 10:04:57

lisajw I'm glad you have been able to organise another scan and that the day care sister was nice to you.

jardins lovely to see you if you like you can contact me through the contact poster thing and we can chat (if I can figure out how to do it!). All good here smile

jardins Sat 03-Oct-09 17:09:29

I'd love to HappyBump! smile er, how does it work?!!!!!! All well here too.....

HappyBump Sat 03-Oct-09 17:43:24

sorry again for the thread-jack!

on this post ... if you just press the contact poster thing on the right-hand side it should work ...fingers crossed. let me know.

SoupDragon Sat 03-Oct-09 17:48:28

Glad you are getting another scan.

I do have a friend who was rescanned prior to the D&C, only to discover that there was still a viable pregnancy - she had miscarried a twin which had not been spotted at the previous scan(s).

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